FG: Gladiator V: "Who is your Daddy?"

[Spaced Cowboy]

WTF Spike?

[DrSpike]

Sorry, will sort out orders this evening if I get chance later.

[Spaced Cowboy]

****************************
Semi-final Match
****************************
Update

1. DrSpike W00 A20
Versus
6. Ljube W20 A0

DrSpike has 43 points remaining
Ljube has 56 points remaining

DrSpike Miss, Miss, Hit(10)
Ljube Miss, Miss, Hit(3)

DrSpike has 40 points remaining
Ljube has 46 points remaining

****************************
2. paramir W20 A00
Versus
Sparrowhawk W00 A20

Sparrowhawk goes on to the finals to face (DrSpike or Ljube)

****************************

Need orders from DrSpike and Ljube. Wow, this is going to take a while.

[Ljube]

sent

[DrSpike]

Sent.

[Theben]

I think the DrSpike smiley should be a with cobwebs attached to it.

[DrSpike]

I think your barbed wit was too late as usual.

[Spaced Cowboy]

****************************
Semi-final Match
****************************
Update

1. DrSpike W00 A20
Versus
6. Ljube W20 A0

DrSpike has 40 points remaining
Ljube has 46 points remaining

DrSpike Miss, Miss, Hit(25)
Ljube Miss, Miss, Hit(40)

DrSpike has 0 points remaining
Ljube has 21 points remaining

Ljube goes on to the finals

****************************
2. paramir W20 A00
Versus
Sparrowhawk W00 A20

Sparrowhawk goes on to the finals to face (DrSpike or Ljube)

****************************

Need orders from Sparrowhawk and Ljube.

[DrSpike]

Suckered. Nice job.

[Sparrowhawk]

Orders for finals sent.

/me

[Spaced Cowboy]

Maybe Ljube will get the hint.

[Spaced Cowboy]

The Finals

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to bring you the gladiator finals right here from the Apolyton Arena in Downtown Spamville.

In the red corner, we have up and new comer Sparrowhawk with his shield of doom. It is quite possibly the biggest shield this competition has seen to date. Sparrow was born in a trailer park just outside Postcount city and has been winning handidly in the semis spouting his favorite phrase, "Gitter Done." If you go to a gladiator contest with no weapon and a big shield (which resembles a garbage can lid), you might be a redneck.

In the Blue corner, we have the old battle worn contendor, Ljube with his giant sword of +1OMGWTFBBQ1!!1. Resourceful Ljube is best known for laying the smackdown on last years champion in the semis. Beefy Ljube does not carry a shield of any kind preferring the pain of winning.

So here we have it, maximum defense against maximum offense. Who will take it to the tape? Lets go down to the arena floor with our on the spot reporter, paramir.

paramir: "What kind of idiot quotes himself?"
pause....pause....pause....

Err...uh...thanks paramir for that insightful bit of commentary.

[Trumpets sound]

I see that our gladiators are entering the ring. Both Sparrow and Ljube walk to the center of the ring and stop about 3 meters from each other. They both assume a ready pose and...

[Trumpets sound again]

Game on!

Sparrow starts circling to the right and pointing to his shield in a monkey-like fashion while looking a Ljube and shouting, "Gitter Done!"

Ljube beelines towards Sparrow, raises his big stick, and brings it straight down at Sparrow who easily catches it with his shield. Sparrow uses the momentum of Ljube's attack to propel his shield's edge at Ljube's head, but Ljube seemed ready for it and easily ducks.

Ljube stands back and this time tries a thrust. At the same time, Sparrow thrusts his shield forward in an attempt to bash an unsuspecting Ljube. Shield and sword clash at the midpoint between the fighters and no damage is done.

Sparrow ducks down and uses the small spike on the center of his shield as a weapon, he thrusts it at Ljube'e exposed leg cleanly impaling his thigh muscle so deeply that his shield was stuck for a moment.

Unfortunately, that was all the time that Ljube need to counterattack with his sword of +1OMGWTFBBQ1!!1. He hit Sparrow's right cheek and ear with the flat part of the blade and continued through his face with the tip of the sword taking a large chunk of Sparrow's nose with it. The chunk spun in the air for a moment and then hit the ground and wrapped itself up in a bloody sand blanket.

The force of the blow, more that Sparrow's efforts, freed Sparrow's shield from Ljube's thigh which first spurted blood and then just dripped a line of red down Ljube's thigh.

The two contestants back off and survey the damage (from a start of 150).
Ljube has 134 points remaining.
Sparrowhawk has 120 points remaining.

[Spaced Cowboy]

bump....need next round of orders.!!1!

[DrSpike]

Man, this guys are slow.

[Theben]

Seems you taught them more than just how to fight.