FG: Vampire! The Paradise Island

[Heresson]

Dear Mr. H:

I am a qualified frog, turtle and aardvark trainer with over 50 years of experience, and can provide many references.

I've been the Royal Aardvark Trainer at Archester castle, UK

I organized the Worldwide Aardvark, Frog and Turtle exhibition and championships in year 2000, in Sydney, Australia.

1977-1998 I've been the president of European Aardvark Association.

1998-2000 I've been the president of WAFTA
(Worldwide Aardvark, Frog and Tortoise Association).

Suffering from immense boredom since retirement in 2002, I wish to find a job so that I can continue my passion, and so I am very interested in work on Your island.
It will allow studies over the Grand Island Tortoise, Sea Frogs and Black Aardvarks living in the region.
Learning more about them is a necessity You'll soon learn about. Black Aardvarks, especially the Toh-Toh Black Aardvarks, which are present on Your island,
can be very dangerous if You don't know how to handle these lovely creatures.
It is a matter of safety of Your expedition to hire an aardvark specialist.
I dare to claim I am most appropriate person for this mission. I've written several books about aardvarks, including
"Dining with Black Aardvarks"
"The Aardvark Mistery"
"Black Aardvarks and frogs: the eternal fight"
I also participated in creating the Great Oxford Dictionary of Aardvark Life, not yet released.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Sincerely,

Mathieu d'Heresson.

[GeoModder]

Originally posted by Snowflake
The nature of the attendant's tasks, of course is to attend to things. Such as serving the wines to the gentlements when they are at dinner, and other things that a professional attendant would know without having to ask.

Indeed it is, dear Mr. H. The inquiry was merely for my nephew as to assure him he does not have the necessary skills yet.

I, on the other hand, wish to apply for the secretary position.

My CV contains several years of expertise on the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Duchy of Luxembourg as third States Secretary, Second Secretary of the Prime Ministers' office (also in the Duchy) and untill recently Duchal Writer of the Duke himself.

Since it is common in the Duchy to step down after a number of years of service, I am now free to try my acquired skills on the proposed position.

Mr. GM

[Kassiopeia]

Dear Mister H.,

in reference to your advertisement in the newspaper, I wish to apply for a position as your personal assistant and secretary.

In the field of transportation, I have experience as a chauffeur and a space shuttle pilot. I also have experience as a fishmonger's assistant, a tailor, a shoemaker, a reindeer farmer, a traveling salesman, a cabin boy, a slave trader, an amateur lady detective and the Queen of France, to name but a few.

Thus I am a man of many talent, and could execute any odd job you might have that would be in need of... executing. However I would need a steel-brimmed hat provided by you, dear sir.

Yours sincerely,

Mr. Kassiopeia

[GeoModder]

Hey!

[Kassiopeia]

Hang on, you applied for secretary too? Oops! I'll apply for just "personal assistant" then. You can do the secretary stuff, you know, pushing pencils and the like. :P

[GeneralTacticus]

Dear Mr. H:

I noticed your advertisement in yesterday's Morning Times, and would like to apply for a position as security specialist, to ensure the safety of your newly-acquired home. My previous employers have included Page Industries and the United States Secret Service, so I'd say I'm well qualified. Give me a position, and I'll set up security systems tight enough that no-one will get in or out without being spotted.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Tacticus

[Shogun Gunner]

Originally posted by GeoModder
Hey!

[Hercules]

Hmmm if accepted, as chef, I better order some sea food, root vegetables, garlic of course, steaks but I guess aardvark tartare and frogs legs are best left for another occasion.

However Aardvocado with Vinaigrette sauce or grapefruit should be alright as starter and then followed by a Meringue Apple Pie.

[Heresson]

LOL at aardvocado
Oh, and treat my application seriously...
You NEED an aardvark specialist there.

[Snowflake]

You guys.

Mr. H already have a personal assistant, Ms. Snowflake. She is currently evaluating your backgrounds and will give you a reply shortly.

[Kassiopeia]

He can have two!

[Snowflake]

Dear Mr. Kassiopeia,

My employer is very impressed after having personally reviewed your service record. You also come highly recommended from your previous employers. I am curious to know if you would be interested in the position of the butler. Your multifaceted talents would be perfect for taking charge the civil affaires at Paradise Island in its entirety.

On the condition that you would accept this position, my employer is willing to double the initial wage offer.

Most Sincerely Yours

Ms. Snowflake

[Heresson]

What about me? What about me!

[Snowflake]

You'll get a preformated acception letter eventually.

[Kassiopeia]

Good Ms. Snowflake,

your offer is accepted. When can I begin?

Best regards,
Mr. Kassiopeia