University Saga (c) 2000
Dark Cloud (ftg3@hotbot.com)
NOTES: This story begins strange and gets stranger with every chapter's addition
I hope that you enjoy it.
P.S: All titles are names of Popular Songs, Movies or Computer Games
Chapter I "Tomorrow Never Dies"
(Otherwise known as the Comedy section of this story)
Year 2045 P.Y. 45
Decurn 16 Day 10
--------------------------------
Academician Prokhor Zakharov asked his chief advisor, (The man formerly known as the man
formerly known as "Prince") Zwiziaona, to bring in the prisoner, which Zwiziaona did
promptly.
The prisoner thrashed around for a few moments until addressed by the Great
Zakharov himself. "So Mr. Bondt," he began "You thought it would be good luck for yourself
to name yourself after a B-Movie hero of the 1960's to the 2020's did you." Zakharov
smiled "Well, you thought wrong."
Bondt then replied "You'll never get anything from me, however, tell me your plans
perhaps and then I'll tell you something."
Zakharov looked a bit more than mildly annoyed as he responded
"What do you take me for- an idiot."
"No," Bondt replied, "I take you for a prize idiot."
Zakharov looked shocked and then ordered Zwiziaona, who was leaning on the wall
for lack of a walker (well he was over 100), to take the man known as Bondt to his cell.
Zwiziaona replied "Sorry, I can't do that Prokhor." And then collapsed in a heap.
Bondt stared at the man and then leapt to his feet and began to strangle Zakharov with
his chains which were around his wrists.
"Gworurikaksa" Zakharov mumbled, causing Bondt to quit applying pressure and ask
"What did you say?" Zakharov responded by way of picking up a 'Smartest Person in the Galaxy'
award and bashing Bondt several times over the head with it.
When he had bludgeoned Bondt to the ground, he pressed a button and called, "Room
Service, you may want to pick up a possibly dead Peacekeeper Probe Team leader from the floor
of my office." Zakharov soon left to go to a meeting to make a speech about his new book-
"Why I am Smarter than You"
They responded to the order quickly and promptly, however, they picked up the
wrong person; and took a near-dead from a heart attack Zwiziaona (The man formerly known as the
man formerly known as "Prince") to the torture chambers.
So, six hours later Tim Bondt awoke from the shag carpeted floor of Prokhor Zakharov's
office with a splitting headache. However, he still managed to make a passing joke
"Bloody red blood." he said cynically. Then he headed over to Zakharov's desk and rifled through
his drawers until he found what he had come for. "This will fetch a pretty penny." He
thought and headed out of Zakharov's office into the hall where he was confronted by an
armored security guard who grunted out "Hey-You-Where-You-Go-Give Password-To-Go."
Bondt thought, 'Well, it would make sense for the University to make the stupider
people security guards, since they have no concern for safety, only research.'
He answered the guard quickly "Where I am going does not concern you and why should
I give the password to you, YOU may be a member of a probe team which only wants to know
the password so they can further infiltrate this base, so tell me WHY I shouldn't report YOU?"
"Uhhhhh...." The security guard began while pondering this response. "You can pass." He
said and then wandered away scratching his head. "Stupid idiot." Bondt thought as he
watched the guard walk away, then he was struck down flat by the opening of an office door.
"Yes Ida, I will have the data on Planetary Mindworms in a few weeks, if you would
be so kind to leave me alone for the next few days, it may even be done sooner..." The man's
voice trailed off as he saw the sprawled body of Tim Bondt lying on the marble flooring.
He immediately ran off screaming for the nearest doctor to show himself, while the
woman, Ida calmly walked down the hallway and pushed the "Call Doctor" button.
Within a few hours Tim Bondt was inside a hospital, where, once he was conscious
the doctors pounced upon him asking if he had insurance of any kind and if so would he
be so kind to show it. He told them no and that he needed no hospital assistance. However,
the second part of his sentence was not needed as within seconds the doctors had forcibly
pushed him out the first-story window of the hospital.
He stood at the bottom of the hospital, stunned, while doctors began to string
arrows in the operating room where he had been laying, and, rather than stick around
and find out just what was going to be the target, he began to run. (Yes, he was completely
healed, strange to believe, but, hey, he's a Probe Team Leader.)
It took him a few minutes to reach a safe hiding place, behind a bar, however, he
soon found that it was not so safe, as seconds upon reaching the place, a bakers dozen of
burly looking thugs descended upon him with baseball bats uttering words not printable in this
publication and asking for his "dough" or money as those of you not acquainted with slang
should interpret this as.
So, Bondt sprang in to action, acting upon his training in the martial arts. Well, to
spare you all the bloody details, hours later, Bondt was once again lying in a hospital bed,
until one doctor recognized him as the 'idiot with no insurance' So, after a rude awakening,
he was once again dropped out of the hospital window.
When he hit the ground he checked his pockets and found the documents were missing,
the secret unit movement orders from Prokhor Zakharov were MISSING!! He knew that he was done
for unless he could get those papers back, but he didn't know where to start looking, and,
he wasn't feeling all that well anyway.
Chapter II "What Dreams May Come"
(Otherwise known as the Prison Chapter)
(Otherwise known as the Strange Dream of the Bakers Dozen)
Decurn 17 Day 1
--------------------------------
That night, lying outside of the "Prokhor Zakharov's Sister’s Memorial Hospital"
Bondt had a very interesting dream about a Grinch and how he aspired to steal Christmas, but
that is not the dream which we are about to discuss, it is the dream which the bakers dozen
of thugs who beat up Bondt had the night of their crime.
Their dream began with a pixie figure of Prokhor Zakharov (Authors Note: This is
just plain WRONG!) speaking to them about the papers which they had stolen from the
weakling of a person 'Tim Bondt'. He told them that they were to deliver the papers, which
none of them had read, (makes sense, they were all illiterate, otherwise they would be in
a lab right now instead of turning to crime) Well, back to the start, he, Zakharov Pixie 1,
told them that the papers which they had should be returned immediately to Prokhor Zakharov.
Soon after completing the dream they woke up and discussed amongst themselves what
to do with the papers.
Chapter (II 2/5) "Unforgiven"
(Zwiziaona's Harsh Tale)
"I tell you," Chief Advisor in Musical and other Interesting Affairs Zwiziaona began,
"I am NOT Tim Bondt, you only have to call Prokhor Zakharov to find that out!" "Sure, sure,"
one told him- "And I'm Commissioner Lal from Pansy Land" "Well," Zwiziaona began, "You have
his character quite right." The man then whipped him with an electronic whip. "Quiet!"
"I have been told to torture you, but since you just had a heart-attack, I have to wait
10 days." "Ahhh, yes, the ten day waiting period." Zwiziaona began "Ingenious of me to
initiate it, no?" "Shut up!" His captor rudely screamed at him.
-To be continued in "Forgiven"
Chapter (II 3/5) "Blazing Saddles"
(Zakharov is Raging Mad)
"He did WHAT!@#(!$*" Zakharov screamed at the security guard.
"Well, he passed by me-I-Think." The guard stepped back, awed at the anger of his Superior.
Zakharov then screamed at the jailer "Well then who the H@(% Is in the jail!"
The jailer then replied "Well, sir, I- don't really know." He paused "Would you like me
to find out?" "Yes I would like you to #*#&$(% FIND OUT!" Zakharov screamed at him,
"Now BEGONE!!!" While exiting the jailer ran into a hurried youngster who carried a message.
The youngster pushed past him and ran up to Prokhor Zakharov, rudely interrupting
him in the midst of a conversation with the guard. "SIR ZAKHAROV SIR. I HAVE NEWS SIR.
SIR NEWS SIR IS DEIDRE IS INTENT UPON MARRYING LAL SIR!" Zakharov dismissed him with a
wave of his hand then went back to speaking with the guard. Seconds passed.
"SHE IS WHAT!" He roared, realizing the complications that would arise soon mecause of what the messenger had just told him.
Chapter (II 4/5) "Forgiven"
(Zwiziaona is 'saved' from life in prison)
"Imhoteb! Free that prisoner so we can bring him up to Zakharov!" The head
jailer yelled at Imhoteb, the jailer who was watching over Zwiziaona. "Yes sir."
He replied and undid Zwiziaona's manacles only to find- a lifeless body. The jailer
gaped open-mouthed and uttered the words. "That man is the Academian's personal advisor."
(Narration: And so Zwiziaona sat FORGIVEN for a crime which he did not commit, however
the fate of the jailer is shrouded in mystery as he disappeared shortly after the fiasco,
supposedly to join a suicide-squad readying to infiltrate the Hive. Little else is known."
Chapter (II 5/5) "What You Want"
(The Return of the Battle Plans)
And thus, because of the prophetic dream, the thugs returned the battle plans to
Zakharov who cuddled them in his arms protectively while interrogating the thugs about
whom they had stolen the plans from.
They then answered carefully that they had stolen them from 'some guy who
said his name was 'Bondt'. And that was all Zakharov needed to know.
Chapter III "A Connecticut Peacekeeper In Queen Deidre's Court"
(Otherwise Known as The Romantic Chapter)
Decurn 18 Day 5
--------------------------------
And so on the day of the marriage Deidre looked happily upon her subjects and
friends from the other factions on planet. Everyone was there, well, everyone except for
the strange Aliens and Shen-Ji Yang, but that was to be expected.
Zakharov looked surly, dressed in his suit and tie, obviously disgusted at the
concept of a political marriage between two of the most powerful factions. Miriam looked
a bit annoyed at having to attend a secular wedding, but appeared to be enduring it well.
Aki-Zeta-Five looked a bit confused, but that was to be expected, she being a cyborg. Ulrik
seemed distracted, looking about, nervous at the concentration of people. Domani seemed
almost regal, standing in his orange, purple, and red robes. Roze, was, well, being Roze,
she was gathering gossip from the others, at least those who would tolerate her. Cha Dawn
was being reclusive, hiding in a corner of the audience, surrounded by his Sentinel Guards.
Morgan sat talking to Santiago about a possible trade agreement, and Lal, Lal stood in all
his beauty at his tent on the other side of the glen where the marriage was to be performed.
Deidre waved to him and he waved back.
However, all this harmony was about to change.
Chapter (III 2/4) "The Jackal"
(An Attempted Assassination)
The assassin lurked in the shadows of the oak trees readying his Plasma-Sniper Gun.
'This will be a clean shot," he thought, and smiled 'Yang has done well hiring me. He will
get results here and now.' He held his Plasma-Sniper Gun to his shoulders and readied the
eyesight peace. Lal stood completely in the dot, the assassin looked through the viewpiece
and watched Lal wave at his bride-to-be, 'This will be easy' he thought as he squeezed the
trigger.
The bullet traveled at lightning speed across the glen towards Lal's neck until
it hit its mark, a UN Escort Guard who just happened to be the Best Man, and was readying
to escort Lal towards the dais where Lal would be wed. The man crumpled, dead, before Lal,
who ran across the field towards Deidre.
Chaos erupted in the glen, as all of the faction leaders who had been calmly sitting and
standing in their assigned seats panicked to find a place safe from assassins bullets. The
Gaians who had been invited also were going wild, looking for a safe place to hide. The few
security guards at the event then showed themselves and sprayed bullets into the place where
the first shot had come off.
'*@$*!' "Jackal", as the assassin called himself screamed in his mind as his bullet hit
the wrong target. He knew that he would only have a certain amount of time to escape so
he took advantage of that little time, thus, by the time the bullets went searching after him,
he had already climbed into a rover, sans Sniper Gun, and sped off down the highways of
Gaia's Landing.
Within minutes he had several Gaian Police Rovers on his tail, he turned to the right
and attempted to lose them. He then drove up a building wall, not a small task indeed, and
turned around his rover in midair, so that he flipped over the pursuing Police Rovers and
escaped from their dragnet into the sunset.
He headed out into the wild countryside of Gaia's Landing and thought to himself,
"@*#*, Yang will have my head for this unless I do something to make it up to him."
Within a couple of hours The Jackal had his plan
-Continued in The Fugitive
Chapter (III 3/4) "Riot Act"
(A Postponement)
In the hours following the attempted assassination several decisions were made.
1. The wedding was postponed until further notice.
2. All of the faction leaders except for Deidre's good friends, Lal, Miriam, and Roze
left hastily for their own territory.
3. Gaian and Peacekeeper Intelligence had determined the assassin to be "The Jackal", a
freelancer assassin, kidnapper, etc. known to be in the employ of Chancellor Shen-Ji Yang.
Lal, not in a good mood at all, immediately declared war on Yang, as did Deidre, angered
at the attempted assassination of her future husband. Roze joined them, however, Miriam
declined until something more positive than the knowledge that "The Jackal" was in employ
of Yang before attacking, because, as she put it, she would not want to declare war on
someone wrongfully accused. However, the real reason for her non-declaration was she did
not have the resources to take on Yang without being obliterated.
4. Messages were sent out to the other faction leaders to join the Peacekeepers, Gaians,
and Data Angels in the obliteration of the Human Hive.
5. Some returned messages
Prophet Cha-Dawn
"I am sorry that I cannot commit my precious people to your meaningless
war. For Life is Dust and Dust is Life. The life of one does not matter
the life of the whole and of Planet is all that does, for the whole
preserves as Planet will, if proper precautions are taken."
Academian Prokhor Zakharov
"I am sorry that I cannot commit my resources at this time, for I have
... other pressing concerns."
CEO Nwandbwe Morgan
"It is not in the best interests of our economy at this time to cease
trade with Chancellor Shen-Ji Yang. Of course, at such time it does,
we will gladly join you in your war."
Captain Ulrik Svensgaard
"We cannot help at this time. In other words- You're on your own!"
Prime Function Aki Zeta-Five
"If the rewards are reciprocal for our services then we will join you in
conquest."
Colonel Corazon Santiago
-NO RESPONSE
Foreman Domani
-NO RESPONSE
Chapter (III 4/4) "The Fugitive"
(An Explosion of Epic Proportions)
'I WILL succeed' Thought "The Jackal" as he readied the explosives around the
Gaian Hospital- "One With Planet" 'Yang may not be pleased with me, but,' he chuckled
'killing off the sick and wounded of the Gaians will give him many laughs.'
When the explosives were readied he stepped back into his rover and drove off
a couple of blocks and then pushed a button in the rover.
---
Bent steel and flaming wood flew down on the passers-by of "One With Planet"
Hospital, and "The Jackal" smiled in approval of his handiwork, however when exiting
the city and spying a checkpoint manned with at least 10 heavily armed Gaians, his
smile quickly turned to a frown. He revved up his engine and headed toward the blockade...
-To be continued in "Rollercoaster Tycoon"
Chapter IV "Platoon"
(Otherwise Known as The War Chapter)
Decurn 19 Day 1
--------------------------------
--------
Part I.
--------
"MEN" Barked Commander Lars Qod of the University. "TODAY WE WILL BE SETTING OUT
ON A GREAT PATRIOTIC DUTY." He paused and continued softer now, "hopefully your training
will pay off and you will perform admirably on the field as The 5th Fusion Guards of-" His
voice picked up noticeably "ACADEMIAN PROKHOR ZAKHAROV!!" Cheers began to ring out.
"TOGETHER," he paused, as if thinking, "TOGETHER WE SHALL INVADE THE FOOLHARDY PEACKEEPERS AND GAIANS, THUS PREVENTING THEM FROM BECOMING THE ONLY FACTIONS ON PLANET!"
The Fusion Guards threw their hats into the air at the announcement and celebrated.
--------
Part II.
--------
"Hey!" Private Daniels yelled out to his fellow Peacekeepers. "It seems the
University is sending reinforcements!" Cheers broke out as the Peacekeepers ran to meet
the arriving University forces.
There were no cheers when they soon met the full force of the University Fusion Guards.
Within a few minutes the remnants of the 10th Peacekeeper Laser Guards surrendered to the
University forces.
The Peacekeeper Leader, General John Kerenovsky met with Commander Lars Qod to work
out surrender terms in Qod's tent. After a wait of seven hours, he was received. However, his
terms were ignored by Qod who scoffed at the idea of "Safe Passage to UN Headquarters."
Just who were these Peaceepers anyway, the winners? Well they certainly
thought they were. So, just to teach them a lesson, Qod sent them back with a small force,
with the orders that they were to be used as 'test subjects.'
Qod was still thinking of how stupid those #($* Peacekeepers were, when, a
troubled lieutenant pushed his way into his field tent. "Qod sir," he began.
"Yes, well then what is it?" Qod asked.
"Sir," The Lieutenant reported. "Advance scouts have encountered a small unit of Hive
Scout Rovers, outfitted with lasers." Qod cursed.
"Sir, what would you have us do?" The Lieutenant asked. Qod replied with a thought,
"hmmmm.... we have the one-up, yes, but can we win." Then he told the Lieutenant,
"Tell the men to ready for attack."
The Hive forces came upon the University forces like berserkers, they were already
tried in combat and had achieved Elite status after destroying the 1st Gaian Laser Infantry
and the 2nd Gaian Missile Rovers. However, the University faced them like steel, refusing
to bend.
In the end the University was victorious, but they only survived with high losses.
Reinforcements needed to arrive soon, and they would, for Zakharov had sent at least ten other
units into Peacekeeper/Gaian/Hive territory in the same week they left. Until then, they would
have to wait.
Chapter V "Ride of the Valkyries"
(Otherwise Known as The Transition Chapter)
Decurn 19 Day 8
--------------------------------
"What do you mean-destroyed." Chancellor Yang hissed out a deadly statement directed
at his Minister of War Sherman So-Ra Yang. "So General Sherman, are you saying that instead
of razing UN Atlanta Base your forces were destroyed by University forces?"
"Yes sir," General Sherman reported "They caught us by surprise. At that Yang stood
violently up. "No one- and I mean no one catches THE HIVE BY SUPRISE!" He screamed. He then
calmed down and sat in his seat. "Well then," he calmly said "You will just have to destroy
them." "Yes sir," General Sherman responded, and then shuffled carefully out of the
Chancellors office, afraid of further reprieve.
Chapter (V 2/5) "Roller Coaster Tycoon"
(The Chase)
"The Jackal" hurled his rover at the blockade and destroyed several Gaian rovers
before speeding away. It took the Gaians several seconds to compose themselves and go
rushing off after him, but it was all he needed.
Soon, he was traveling into the Xenofungus far away from the pitiful Gaian police
rovers and far away from any Gaians.
He drove for a couple of hours until, he realized something, he was traveling in
XENOFUNGUS, and it was GAIAN XENOFUNGUS to boot, that meant that there had to be tons of
ravenous mindworms awaiting him as food. Realizing that, he began to increase his rovers
speed and glance down at the energy bar. It seemed that he had only an hour of energy left.
But that was enough, he thought, enough to get him across this desert of Xenofungus, or so
at least he hoped.
-To be continued in "See You Later, Alligator"
Chapter (V 3/5) "Dr. No"
(More Rip-Roaring Laughs)
Bondt, now a fugitive in University Base hid in the shadows brooding. "I must
do something to help Brother Lal in this war, but what? I cannot poison the people,
I cannot instigate rebellion, I cannot..." his voice trailed away as he though of an
idea. "Yes, I can do that." He said aloud.
One hour later he confronted a Lab Tech who was about to enter the Technological
Lab Institute of Academian Prokhor Zakharov (T.I.P.Z.) with the words. "Hello."
The tech then turned around to greet him in the same manner when he was sent flying with
a 'greeting' punch.
A few minutes later, Bondt, decked out in the same lab suit that the tech had been
wearing minutes earlier, and entered the building. He headed directly to the
'Classified Documents' section of the building which he entered and began to look through
file cabinets for the Fusion Laser Technology.
'nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.' he thought whilst browsing, then he found
what he was looking for- a file labeled "The Fusion Laser", he quickly pocketed it in his
lab suit and quickly left the building, however, while leaving he encountered an enraged
lab tech, the same one he had beat up and stolen the lab clothes from, accompanied by a
couple of grim looking security guards.
"That's him!" The tech screamed out while pointing at Bondt, "That's the fiend
who stole my clothes and punched me!" The guards then brought their fusion lasers to their
shoulders and began to fire.
Bondt began to run away from the angry lab tech and security guards, as he ran he
searched for a hiding place, alas, he thought, there were none. So, while dodging bullets
he ran into the only person he definitely DID NOT want to meet- Academian Prokhor Zakharov.
"What is this?" The Academian yelled out, obviously confused at the sudden
collision between himself and Bondt. As Bondt picked himself off from the floor Zakharov
recognized him, and said "You!" Bondt replied by recognizing Zakharov in turn and yelling
"You!" Then Zakharov screamed out "Stop firing you idiots, I have the spy right here."
However, the guards did not see and did not hear Zakharov so he was forced to
duck back into the room from whence he came. Bondt followed him in, dazed, and was met
with a bludgeoning book titled "The Bludgeoned Butler" Soon, the security guards entered
the room and stopped firing, recognizing Zakharov.
Bondt was carried away to the University Base City Jail, while the files were
returned to the 'Classified Documents' room and locked away.
Chapter (V 4/5) "See You Later Alligator"
(Mindless Morganites and Mindworms)
The rover was out of energy. The rover was out of energy and the Xenofungus still
remained for miles around the rover. The rover was out of energy, the Xenofungus remained
for miles around the rover, and there was a mindworm boil attacking "The Jackal". However
"The Jackal" was prepared for such an encounter, his mind was powerful, he was trained
well, and he had a missile launcher in his cars' trunk.
The boil was destroyed after a short scuffle, however, the boil had communicated
its location to the other mindworms through the use of its psi powers. "The Jackal" had
to traverse through the Xenofungus and escape it as soon as possible and return to Hive
territory.
He looked to the east and saw-- an Alligator? Were his eyes playing tricks on him
he thought. Maybe the psi attack had got to him. An Alligator All-Terrain Vehicle out here
in the Xenofungus? How could it be?
The ATV was coming towards him at a speed of fifty miles per hour, but when the
driver spied him he slowed down. When the ATV was alongside of the super-assassin known
as "The Jackal" a window was rolled down and the driver asked "The Jackal"
"Hello, where are you going, we can take you there, is that your rover over by the dead
mindworm? Yes? Ohmygosh! We better get out of here, but not before I acquire that carcass,
I've got to show my clients something, or else Morgan Mindworm Tours will go bankrupt. I
can have that carcass, no? I need to perhaps 'lie' to my customers about our abilities,
because even though mindworms are rare, those silly customers are always worrying about
attacks. Oh well, okay?"
"The Jackal" was stunned at this charismatic Morgan entrepreneur. He merely
answered "yes." and was swept away in the ATV after helping the entrepreneur who had
been out hunting mindworms, carry the carcass into the trunk of the ATV where there
was an impressive array of weapons, missile launchers, laser guns, even a laser grenade.
This man was ready for an assault of perhaps a dozen mindworms, but only if he
kept control of his mind, and that was in question.
So after packing the dead mindworm in the ATV they roared off together into
Hive territory where the Morganite man had been setting up the enterprise. While traveling
"The Jackal" thought just how much of an idiot this man could be, Hive people had no use
for recreation. 'but,' he thought 'this man would not believe me even if I told him so,
these Morganites are so headstrong with the thought that everyone is just like them"
Chapter (V 5/5) "One is the Loneliest Number"
(A Chapter about Aliens)
"We must make the Progenitor race one again!" Usurper Judaa Maar began,
"Lular is a complete dolt, Planet is of more use to us as a military base than as a
preserved entity. But, she will pay." He considered his thought and ordered his Commander
of Units- Devvan Loouk "Devvan, ready the Battle Ogre units and the ten Laser Rovers.
We shall destroy the Caretakers for once and for all." He chuckled to himself as the
Commander hurried off to spread the orders amongst the unit commanders.
Chapters to Come:
-----------------
Chapter VI "Universite Graffiti"
Chapter VII "The Great Race"
Chapter VIII "It's a Mad,Mad,Mad,Mad World"
Chapter IX "Best of the Summer Wine"
Chapter X "Citizen Zakharov"
Chapter XI "Casablanca"
Chapter XII "This Magic Moment"
Chapter XIII "In the Woodwork"
Chapter XIV "Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines"
Chapter XV "Stalag 17"
Chapter XVI "The Great Escape
Chapter XVII "A.N.T.Z."
Chapter XVIII "Bonanza!"
Chapter XIX "The Crucible"
Chapter XX "A Conclusion to a strange serial story that has
merely rambled on just like this title for ages
and ages and ages and ..."
[This message has been edited by DarkCloud (edited July 28, 2000).]
Dark Cloud (ftg3@hotbot.com)
NOTES: This story begins strange and gets stranger with every chapter's addition
I hope that you enjoy it.
P.S: All titles are names of Popular Songs, Movies or Computer Games
Chapter I "Tomorrow Never Dies"
(Otherwise known as the Comedy section of this story)
Year 2045 P.Y. 45
Decurn 16 Day 10
--------------------------------
Academician Prokhor Zakharov asked his chief advisor, (The man formerly known as the man
formerly known as "Prince") Zwiziaona, to bring in the prisoner, which Zwiziaona did
promptly.
The prisoner thrashed around for a few moments until addressed by the Great
Zakharov himself. "So Mr. Bondt," he began "You thought it would be good luck for yourself
to name yourself after a B-Movie hero of the 1960's to the 2020's did you." Zakharov
smiled "Well, you thought wrong."
Bondt then replied "You'll never get anything from me, however, tell me your plans
perhaps and then I'll tell you something."
Zakharov looked a bit more than mildly annoyed as he responded
"What do you take me for- an idiot."
"No," Bondt replied, "I take you for a prize idiot."
Zakharov looked shocked and then ordered Zwiziaona, who was leaning on the wall
for lack of a walker (well he was over 100), to take the man known as Bondt to his cell.
Zwiziaona replied "Sorry, I can't do that Prokhor." And then collapsed in a heap.
Bondt stared at the man and then leapt to his feet and began to strangle Zakharov with
his chains which were around his wrists.
"Gworurikaksa" Zakharov mumbled, causing Bondt to quit applying pressure and ask
"What did you say?" Zakharov responded by way of picking up a 'Smartest Person in the Galaxy'
award and bashing Bondt several times over the head with it.
When he had bludgeoned Bondt to the ground, he pressed a button and called, "Room
Service, you may want to pick up a possibly dead Peacekeeper Probe Team leader from the floor
of my office." Zakharov soon left to go to a meeting to make a speech about his new book-
"Why I am Smarter than You"
They responded to the order quickly and promptly, however, they picked up the
wrong person; and took a near-dead from a heart attack Zwiziaona (The man formerly known as the
man formerly known as "Prince") to the torture chambers.
So, six hours later Tim Bondt awoke from the shag carpeted floor of Prokhor Zakharov's
office with a splitting headache. However, he still managed to make a passing joke
"Bloody red blood." he said cynically. Then he headed over to Zakharov's desk and rifled through
his drawers until he found what he had come for. "This will fetch a pretty penny." He
thought and headed out of Zakharov's office into the hall where he was confronted by an
armored security guard who grunted out "Hey-You-Where-You-Go-Give Password-To-Go."
Bondt thought, 'Well, it would make sense for the University to make the stupider
people security guards, since they have no concern for safety, only research.'
He answered the guard quickly "Where I am going does not concern you and why should
I give the password to you, YOU may be a member of a probe team which only wants to know
the password so they can further infiltrate this base, so tell me WHY I shouldn't report YOU?"
"Uhhhhh...." The security guard began while pondering this response. "You can pass." He
said and then wandered away scratching his head. "Stupid idiot." Bondt thought as he
watched the guard walk away, then he was struck down flat by the opening of an office door.
"Yes Ida, I will have the data on Planetary Mindworms in a few weeks, if you would
be so kind to leave me alone for the next few days, it may even be done sooner..." The man's
voice trailed off as he saw the sprawled body of Tim Bondt lying on the marble flooring.
He immediately ran off screaming for the nearest doctor to show himself, while the
woman, Ida calmly walked down the hallway and pushed the "Call Doctor" button.
Within a few hours Tim Bondt was inside a hospital, where, once he was conscious
the doctors pounced upon him asking if he had insurance of any kind and if so would he
be so kind to show it. He told them no and that he needed no hospital assistance. However,
the second part of his sentence was not needed as within seconds the doctors had forcibly
pushed him out the first-story window of the hospital.
He stood at the bottom of the hospital, stunned, while doctors began to string
arrows in the operating room where he had been laying, and, rather than stick around
and find out just what was going to be the target, he began to run. (Yes, he was completely
healed, strange to believe, but, hey, he's a Probe Team Leader.)
It took him a few minutes to reach a safe hiding place, behind a bar, however, he
soon found that it was not so safe, as seconds upon reaching the place, a bakers dozen of
burly looking thugs descended upon him with baseball bats uttering words not printable in this
publication and asking for his "dough" or money as those of you not acquainted with slang
should interpret this as.
So, Bondt sprang in to action, acting upon his training in the martial arts. Well, to
spare you all the bloody details, hours later, Bondt was once again lying in a hospital bed,
until one doctor recognized him as the 'idiot with no insurance' So, after a rude awakening,
he was once again dropped out of the hospital window.
When he hit the ground he checked his pockets and found the documents were missing,
the secret unit movement orders from Prokhor Zakharov were MISSING!! He knew that he was done
for unless he could get those papers back, but he didn't know where to start looking, and,
he wasn't feeling all that well anyway.
Chapter II "What Dreams May Come"
(Otherwise known as the Prison Chapter)
(Otherwise known as the Strange Dream of the Bakers Dozen)
Decurn 17 Day 1
--------------------------------
That night, lying outside of the "Prokhor Zakharov's Sister’s Memorial Hospital"
Bondt had a very interesting dream about a Grinch and how he aspired to steal Christmas, but
that is not the dream which we are about to discuss, it is the dream which the bakers dozen
of thugs who beat up Bondt had the night of their crime.
Their dream began with a pixie figure of Prokhor Zakharov (Authors Note: This is
just plain WRONG!) speaking to them about the papers which they had stolen from the
weakling of a person 'Tim Bondt'. He told them that they were to deliver the papers, which
none of them had read, (makes sense, they were all illiterate, otherwise they would be in
a lab right now instead of turning to crime) Well, back to the start, he, Zakharov Pixie 1,
told them that the papers which they had should be returned immediately to Prokhor Zakharov.
Soon after completing the dream they woke up and discussed amongst themselves what
to do with the papers.
Chapter (II 2/5) "Unforgiven"
(Zwiziaona's Harsh Tale)
"I tell you," Chief Advisor in Musical and other Interesting Affairs Zwiziaona began,
"I am NOT Tim Bondt, you only have to call Prokhor Zakharov to find that out!" "Sure, sure,"
one told him- "And I'm Commissioner Lal from Pansy Land" "Well," Zwiziaona began, "You have
his character quite right." The man then whipped him with an electronic whip. "Quiet!"
"I have been told to torture you, but since you just had a heart-attack, I have to wait
10 days." "Ahhh, yes, the ten day waiting period." Zwiziaona began "Ingenious of me to
initiate it, no?" "Shut up!" His captor rudely screamed at him.
-To be continued in "Forgiven"
Chapter (II 3/5) "Blazing Saddles"
(Zakharov is Raging Mad)
"He did WHAT!@#(!$*" Zakharov screamed at the security guard.
"Well, he passed by me-I-Think." The guard stepped back, awed at the anger of his Superior.
Zakharov then screamed at the jailer "Well then who the H@(% Is in the jail!"
The jailer then replied "Well, sir, I- don't really know." He paused "Would you like me
to find out?" "Yes I would like you to #*#&$(% FIND OUT!" Zakharov screamed at him,
"Now BEGONE!!!" While exiting the jailer ran into a hurried youngster who carried a message.
The youngster pushed past him and ran up to Prokhor Zakharov, rudely interrupting
him in the midst of a conversation with the guard. "SIR ZAKHAROV SIR. I HAVE NEWS SIR.
SIR NEWS SIR IS DEIDRE IS INTENT UPON MARRYING LAL SIR!" Zakharov dismissed him with a
wave of his hand then went back to speaking with the guard. Seconds passed.
"SHE IS WHAT!" He roared, realizing the complications that would arise soon mecause of what the messenger had just told him.
Chapter (II 4/5) "Forgiven"
(Zwiziaona is 'saved' from life in prison)
"Imhoteb! Free that prisoner so we can bring him up to Zakharov!" The head
jailer yelled at Imhoteb, the jailer who was watching over Zwiziaona. "Yes sir."
He replied and undid Zwiziaona's manacles only to find- a lifeless body. The jailer
gaped open-mouthed and uttered the words. "That man is the Academian's personal advisor."
(Narration: And so Zwiziaona sat FORGIVEN for a crime which he did not commit, however
the fate of the jailer is shrouded in mystery as he disappeared shortly after the fiasco,
supposedly to join a suicide-squad readying to infiltrate the Hive. Little else is known."
Chapter (II 5/5) "What You Want"
(The Return of the Battle Plans)
And thus, because of the prophetic dream, the thugs returned the battle plans to
Zakharov who cuddled them in his arms protectively while interrogating the thugs about
whom they had stolen the plans from.
They then answered carefully that they had stolen them from 'some guy who
said his name was 'Bondt'. And that was all Zakharov needed to know.
Chapter III "A Connecticut Peacekeeper In Queen Deidre's Court"
(Otherwise Known as The Romantic Chapter)
Decurn 18 Day 5
--------------------------------
And so on the day of the marriage Deidre looked happily upon her subjects and
friends from the other factions on planet. Everyone was there, well, everyone except for
the strange Aliens and Shen-Ji Yang, but that was to be expected.
Zakharov looked surly, dressed in his suit and tie, obviously disgusted at the
concept of a political marriage between two of the most powerful factions. Miriam looked
a bit annoyed at having to attend a secular wedding, but appeared to be enduring it well.
Aki-Zeta-Five looked a bit confused, but that was to be expected, she being a cyborg. Ulrik
seemed distracted, looking about, nervous at the concentration of people. Domani seemed
almost regal, standing in his orange, purple, and red robes. Roze, was, well, being Roze,
she was gathering gossip from the others, at least those who would tolerate her. Cha Dawn
was being reclusive, hiding in a corner of the audience, surrounded by his Sentinel Guards.
Morgan sat talking to Santiago about a possible trade agreement, and Lal, Lal stood in all
his beauty at his tent on the other side of the glen where the marriage was to be performed.
Deidre waved to him and he waved back.
However, all this harmony was about to change.
Chapter (III 2/4) "The Jackal"
(An Attempted Assassination)
The assassin lurked in the shadows of the oak trees readying his Plasma-Sniper Gun.
'This will be a clean shot," he thought, and smiled 'Yang has done well hiring me. He will
get results here and now.' He held his Plasma-Sniper Gun to his shoulders and readied the
eyesight peace. Lal stood completely in the dot, the assassin looked through the viewpiece
and watched Lal wave at his bride-to-be, 'This will be easy' he thought as he squeezed the
trigger.
The bullet traveled at lightning speed across the glen towards Lal's neck until
it hit its mark, a UN Escort Guard who just happened to be the Best Man, and was readying
to escort Lal towards the dais where Lal would be wed. The man crumpled, dead, before Lal,
who ran across the field towards Deidre.
Chaos erupted in the glen, as all of the faction leaders who had been calmly sitting and
standing in their assigned seats panicked to find a place safe from assassins bullets. The
Gaians who had been invited also were going wild, looking for a safe place to hide. The few
security guards at the event then showed themselves and sprayed bullets into the place where
the first shot had come off.
'*@$*!' "Jackal", as the assassin called himself screamed in his mind as his bullet hit
the wrong target. He knew that he would only have a certain amount of time to escape so
he took advantage of that little time, thus, by the time the bullets went searching after him,
he had already climbed into a rover, sans Sniper Gun, and sped off down the highways of
Gaia's Landing.
Within minutes he had several Gaian Police Rovers on his tail, he turned to the right
and attempted to lose them. He then drove up a building wall, not a small task indeed, and
turned around his rover in midair, so that he flipped over the pursuing Police Rovers and
escaped from their dragnet into the sunset.
He headed out into the wild countryside of Gaia's Landing and thought to himself,
"@*#*, Yang will have my head for this unless I do something to make it up to him."
Within a couple of hours The Jackal had his plan
-Continued in The Fugitive
Chapter (III 3/4) "Riot Act"
(A Postponement)
In the hours following the attempted assassination several decisions were made.
1. The wedding was postponed until further notice.
2. All of the faction leaders except for Deidre's good friends, Lal, Miriam, and Roze
left hastily for their own territory.
3. Gaian and Peacekeeper Intelligence had determined the assassin to be "The Jackal", a
freelancer assassin, kidnapper, etc. known to be in the employ of Chancellor Shen-Ji Yang.
Lal, not in a good mood at all, immediately declared war on Yang, as did Deidre, angered
at the attempted assassination of her future husband. Roze joined them, however, Miriam
declined until something more positive than the knowledge that "The Jackal" was in employ
of Yang before attacking, because, as she put it, she would not want to declare war on
someone wrongfully accused. However, the real reason for her non-declaration was she did
not have the resources to take on Yang without being obliterated.
4. Messages were sent out to the other faction leaders to join the Peacekeepers, Gaians,
and Data Angels in the obliteration of the Human Hive.
5. Some returned messages
Prophet Cha-Dawn
"I am sorry that I cannot commit my precious people to your meaningless
war. For Life is Dust and Dust is Life. The life of one does not matter
the life of the whole and of Planet is all that does, for the whole
preserves as Planet will, if proper precautions are taken."
Academian Prokhor Zakharov
"I am sorry that I cannot commit my resources at this time, for I have
... other pressing concerns."
CEO Nwandbwe Morgan
"It is not in the best interests of our economy at this time to cease
trade with Chancellor Shen-Ji Yang. Of course, at such time it does,
we will gladly join you in your war."
Captain Ulrik Svensgaard
"We cannot help at this time. In other words- You're on your own!"
Prime Function Aki Zeta-Five
"If the rewards are reciprocal for our services then we will join you in
conquest."
Colonel Corazon Santiago
-NO RESPONSE
Foreman Domani
-NO RESPONSE
Chapter (III 4/4) "The Fugitive"
(An Explosion of Epic Proportions)
'I WILL succeed' Thought "The Jackal" as he readied the explosives around the
Gaian Hospital- "One With Planet" 'Yang may not be pleased with me, but,' he chuckled
'killing off the sick and wounded of the Gaians will give him many laughs.'
When the explosives were readied he stepped back into his rover and drove off
a couple of blocks and then pushed a button in the rover.
---
Bent steel and flaming wood flew down on the passers-by of "One With Planet"
Hospital, and "The Jackal" smiled in approval of his handiwork, however when exiting
the city and spying a checkpoint manned with at least 10 heavily armed Gaians, his
smile quickly turned to a frown. He revved up his engine and headed toward the blockade...
-To be continued in "Rollercoaster Tycoon"
Chapter IV "Platoon"
(Otherwise Known as The War Chapter)
Decurn 19 Day 1
--------------------------------
--------
Part I.
--------
"MEN" Barked Commander Lars Qod of the University. "TODAY WE WILL BE SETTING OUT
ON A GREAT PATRIOTIC DUTY." He paused and continued softer now, "hopefully your training
will pay off and you will perform admirably on the field as The 5th Fusion Guards of-" His
voice picked up noticeably "ACADEMIAN PROKHOR ZAKHAROV!!" Cheers began to ring out.
"TOGETHER," he paused, as if thinking, "TOGETHER WE SHALL INVADE THE FOOLHARDY PEACKEEPERS AND GAIANS, THUS PREVENTING THEM FROM BECOMING THE ONLY FACTIONS ON PLANET!"
The Fusion Guards threw their hats into the air at the announcement and celebrated.
--------
Part II.
--------
"Hey!" Private Daniels yelled out to his fellow Peacekeepers. "It seems the
University is sending reinforcements!" Cheers broke out as the Peacekeepers ran to meet
the arriving University forces.
There were no cheers when they soon met the full force of the University Fusion Guards.
Within a few minutes the remnants of the 10th Peacekeeper Laser Guards surrendered to the
University forces.
The Peacekeeper Leader, General John Kerenovsky met with Commander Lars Qod to work
out surrender terms in Qod's tent. After a wait of seven hours, he was received. However, his
terms were ignored by Qod who scoffed at the idea of "Safe Passage to UN Headquarters."
Just who were these Peaceepers anyway, the winners? Well they certainly
thought they were. So, just to teach them a lesson, Qod sent them back with a small force,
with the orders that they were to be used as 'test subjects.'
Qod was still thinking of how stupid those #($* Peacekeepers were, when, a
troubled lieutenant pushed his way into his field tent. "Qod sir," he began.
"Yes, well then what is it?" Qod asked.
"Sir," The Lieutenant reported. "Advance scouts have encountered a small unit of Hive
Scout Rovers, outfitted with lasers." Qod cursed.
"Sir, what would you have us do?" The Lieutenant asked. Qod replied with a thought,
"hmmmm.... we have the one-up, yes, but can we win." Then he told the Lieutenant,
"Tell the men to ready for attack."
The Hive forces came upon the University forces like berserkers, they were already
tried in combat and had achieved Elite status after destroying the 1st Gaian Laser Infantry
and the 2nd Gaian Missile Rovers. However, the University faced them like steel, refusing
to bend.
In the end the University was victorious, but they only survived with high losses.
Reinforcements needed to arrive soon, and they would, for Zakharov had sent at least ten other
units into Peacekeeper/Gaian/Hive territory in the same week they left. Until then, they would
have to wait.
Chapter V "Ride of the Valkyries"
(Otherwise Known as The Transition Chapter)
Decurn 19 Day 8
--------------------------------
"What do you mean-destroyed." Chancellor Yang hissed out a deadly statement directed
at his Minister of War Sherman So-Ra Yang. "So General Sherman, are you saying that instead
of razing UN Atlanta Base your forces were destroyed by University forces?"
"Yes sir," General Sherman reported "They caught us by surprise. At that Yang stood
violently up. "No one- and I mean no one catches THE HIVE BY SUPRISE!" He screamed. He then
calmed down and sat in his seat. "Well then," he calmly said "You will just have to destroy
them." "Yes sir," General Sherman responded, and then shuffled carefully out of the
Chancellors office, afraid of further reprieve.
Chapter (V 2/5) "Roller Coaster Tycoon"
(The Chase)
"The Jackal" hurled his rover at the blockade and destroyed several Gaian rovers
before speeding away. It took the Gaians several seconds to compose themselves and go
rushing off after him, but it was all he needed.
Soon, he was traveling into the Xenofungus far away from the pitiful Gaian police
rovers and far away from any Gaians.
He drove for a couple of hours until, he realized something, he was traveling in
XENOFUNGUS, and it was GAIAN XENOFUNGUS to boot, that meant that there had to be tons of
ravenous mindworms awaiting him as food. Realizing that, he began to increase his rovers
speed and glance down at the energy bar. It seemed that he had only an hour of energy left.
But that was enough, he thought, enough to get him across this desert of Xenofungus, or so
at least he hoped.
-To be continued in "See You Later, Alligator"
Chapter (V 3/5) "Dr. No"
(More Rip-Roaring Laughs)
Bondt, now a fugitive in University Base hid in the shadows brooding. "I must
do something to help Brother Lal in this war, but what? I cannot poison the people,
I cannot instigate rebellion, I cannot..." his voice trailed away as he though of an
idea. "Yes, I can do that." He said aloud.
One hour later he confronted a Lab Tech who was about to enter the Technological
Lab Institute of Academian Prokhor Zakharov (T.I.P.Z.) with the words. "Hello."
The tech then turned around to greet him in the same manner when he was sent flying with
a 'greeting' punch.
A few minutes later, Bondt, decked out in the same lab suit that the tech had been
wearing minutes earlier, and entered the building. He headed directly to the
'Classified Documents' section of the building which he entered and began to look through
file cabinets for the Fusion Laser Technology.
'nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.' he thought whilst browsing, then he found
what he was looking for- a file labeled "The Fusion Laser", he quickly pocketed it in his
lab suit and quickly left the building, however, while leaving he encountered an enraged
lab tech, the same one he had beat up and stolen the lab clothes from, accompanied by a
couple of grim looking security guards.
"That's him!" The tech screamed out while pointing at Bondt, "That's the fiend
who stole my clothes and punched me!" The guards then brought their fusion lasers to their
shoulders and began to fire.
Bondt began to run away from the angry lab tech and security guards, as he ran he
searched for a hiding place, alas, he thought, there were none. So, while dodging bullets
he ran into the only person he definitely DID NOT want to meet- Academian Prokhor Zakharov.
"What is this?" The Academian yelled out, obviously confused at the sudden
collision between himself and Bondt. As Bondt picked himself off from the floor Zakharov
recognized him, and said "You!" Bondt replied by recognizing Zakharov in turn and yelling
"You!" Then Zakharov screamed out "Stop firing you idiots, I have the spy right here."
However, the guards did not see and did not hear Zakharov so he was forced to
duck back into the room from whence he came. Bondt followed him in, dazed, and was met
with a bludgeoning book titled "The Bludgeoned Butler" Soon, the security guards entered
the room and stopped firing, recognizing Zakharov.
Bondt was carried away to the University Base City Jail, while the files were
returned to the 'Classified Documents' room and locked away.
Chapter (V 4/5) "See You Later Alligator"
(Mindless Morganites and Mindworms)
The rover was out of energy. The rover was out of energy and the Xenofungus still
remained for miles around the rover. The rover was out of energy, the Xenofungus remained
for miles around the rover, and there was a mindworm boil attacking "The Jackal". However
"The Jackal" was prepared for such an encounter, his mind was powerful, he was trained
well, and he had a missile launcher in his cars' trunk.
The boil was destroyed after a short scuffle, however, the boil had communicated
its location to the other mindworms through the use of its psi powers. "The Jackal" had
to traverse through the Xenofungus and escape it as soon as possible and return to Hive
territory.
He looked to the east and saw-- an Alligator? Were his eyes playing tricks on him
he thought. Maybe the psi attack had got to him. An Alligator All-Terrain Vehicle out here
in the Xenofungus? How could it be?
The ATV was coming towards him at a speed of fifty miles per hour, but when the
driver spied him he slowed down. When the ATV was alongside of the super-assassin known
as "The Jackal" a window was rolled down and the driver asked "The Jackal"
"Hello, where are you going, we can take you there, is that your rover over by the dead
mindworm? Yes? Ohmygosh! We better get out of here, but not before I acquire that carcass,
I've got to show my clients something, or else Morgan Mindworm Tours will go bankrupt. I
can have that carcass, no? I need to perhaps 'lie' to my customers about our abilities,
because even though mindworms are rare, those silly customers are always worrying about
attacks. Oh well, okay?"
"The Jackal" was stunned at this charismatic Morgan entrepreneur. He merely
answered "yes." and was swept away in the ATV after helping the entrepreneur who had
been out hunting mindworms, carry the carcass into the trunk of the ATV where there
was an impressive array of weapons, missile launchers, laser guns, even a laser grenade.
This man was ready for an assault of perhaps a dozen mindworms, but only if he
kept control of his mind, and that was in question.
So after packing the dead mindworm in the ATV they roared off together into
Hive territory where the Morganite man had been setting up the enterprise. While traveling
"The Jackal" thought just how much of an idiot this man could be, Hive people had no use
for recreation. 'but,' he thought 'this man would not believe me even if I told him so,
these Morganites are so headstrong with the thought that everyone is just like them"
Chapter (V 5/5) "One is the Loneliest Number"
(A Chapter about Aliens)
"We must make the Progenitor race one again!" Usurper Judaa Maar began,
"Lular is a complete dolt, Planet is of more use to us as a military base than as a
preserved entity. But, she will pay." He considered his thought and ordered his Commander
of Units- Devvan Loouk "Devvan, ready the Battle Ogre units and the ten Laser Rovers.
We shall destroy the Caretakers for once and for all." He chuckled to himself as the
Commander hurried off to spread the orders amongst the unit commanders.
Chapters to Come:
-----------------
Chapter VI "Universite Graffiti"
Chapter VII "The Great Race"
Chapter VIII "It's a Mad,Mad,Mad,Mad World"
Chapter IX "Best of the Summer Wine"
Chapter X "Citizen Zakharov"
Chapter XI "Casablanca"
Chapter XII "This Magic Moment"
Chapter XIII "In the Woodwork"
Chapter XIV "Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines"
Chapter XV "Stalag 17"
Chapter XVI "The Great Escape
Chapter XVII "A.N.T.Z."
Chapter XVIII "Bonanza!"
Chapter XIX "The Crucible"
Chapter XX "A Conclusion to a strange serial story that has
merely rambled on just like this title for ages
and ages and ages and ..."
[This message has been edited by DarkCloud (edited July 28, 2000).]
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