Location: U.N. Headquarters, Commissioner Pravin Lal's Office
"I- can't- get- no... Sa- tis- FAC- TION... mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmmm, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmm..."
Lal simply stares at Lieutenant General Zhu. Lady Jane gazes at the roof, with raised eyebrows. For myself, I am looking at the floor, fiddling with my moustache to hide my grin -that is threatening to turn into laughter- from Lal. It's unheard of for Zhu to be anything except serious or slightly sarcastic at most. This display of humour is doubly effective thanks to it's unexpectedness; too bad it is entirely unappropriate at the moment.
"General Zhu, that was not funny."
"Yes it was", Lady Jane mumbles through clenched teeth. Zhu smiles, a bit embarrassed.
"I am sorry, Commissioner. I have studied twentieth century culture, and this bit just popped into my head. Please excuse me. But you must realize that this text is ridiculous!"
Lal frowns and shakes his head. "There is nothing in this message that is ridiculous or funny in any way. On the contrary, this is a nightmare. Miriam is asking me to take a stand in the Believer-University Vendetta by renouncing my treaty with the University. What is truly awful about this is that some University diplomats seem to suggest we do the same against the Believers! They both want me to tip the balance of this war to their favor, at least psychologically, and if I refuse our relationships will surely deteriorate."
Zhu nods. "Then you must say no to at least one of them as politely as you possibly can. Remember, she is showing you a carrot as well."
"Yes; their future assistance with the Hive. Madness! I don't want either conflict to spread more that they already have. If I agree to this we might end up arranged into two axises, with us and the Believers on one side, and the Hive and the University on the other. And if I side with the university it is the Believers who might side with the Hive. In addition, we are currently in a military co-operation with the university to find and punish the persons responsible for the poisoning of University Base." Lal shudders. "I will not support any action that could have such widespread detrimental effects to the stability of Planet."
Zhu looks annoyed. "Well you can't both eat the cake and keep it, commissioner."
Lal assumes his distant gaze that we know so well. Eventually, he purses his lips. "It's bad, but I think I see a way out. For now, the wishes of the University have not been expressed officially, so we will deal with that problem when it arises. As for the Believers, I intend to dictate a letter and I want you to listen. Here goes." He fiddles with the controls on his desk, and a red light indicates a recorder is activated. He is silent for a moment, and then clears his throat.
"Best greetings, sister Miriam of the Believers. I hope your religious practices are proceeding to your.." Lal hesitates and glares at Zhu. "...wishes. I have considered your request, and have come to a conclusion: Were I to scrap my current treaty with the University, I would also have to cancel the treaty that the Peacekeepers have with your faction as well. To do otherwise would signal that I support either side in this conflict, and I do not wish to do so. I must admit I am also concerned with doctor Zakharov's unethical research, but I still wish to maintain friendly relations with him, as I do with you. Your concern for the lives of the University citizens is well placed, but would sound more true in my ears had I not known of your habit of dealing out death for the slightest break of the rules in the Holy Bible as you currently interpret them."
Lal pauses for a moment.
"As for your offered assistance with the Hive, know that I am maintaining the vendetta out of necessity. Your help would escalate the conflict, and possibly prolong it as well; therefore I thank you for the suggestion, but fear I must decline. I am most honoured by your offer, however, and hope we can arrange some other form of cooperation, but in a less violent manner. You have my best wishes."
Lal stops the recording and lets his gaze wander over each of us in turn. "Well, what do you think?"
Zhu nods. "It's good once you remove that comment about her bible-thumping. That one could result in a surprise attack if I know her well." Lady Jane nods and smiles grimly.
"Very well." Lal edits out the sentence, and plays back the message. "Anything else?"
I sigh. "It would be interesting to know how the Believers managed to discover Superstring Theory ahead of all projected speeds."
Zhu looks at me and winks. "I would guess that Miriam keeps a datapad of Macchiavelli's 'The Prince' next to the Bible under her pillow."
I smile and nod. "Yeah. I guess so."
Even Lal smiles slightly. "Not that she has to. I think all the important bits are present in the Bible too, if you wish to read it that way. Too bad she doesn't appreciate hinduism; this would be much easier if she had a principle of nonviolence. Anyway, since none of you have any further suggestions, I will send this letter." Lal punches in some commands on his desk-terminal, and the recording is converted into text. Lal reads it through to make sure everything is correct, and then keys in the comm-frequency for the Believers.
A short notice on the terminal informs Lal that the message was sent successfully.
"I- can't- get- no... Sa- tis- FAC- TION... mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmmmmm, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmmm..."
Lal simply stares at Lieutenant General Zhu. Lady Jane gazes at the roof, with raised eyebrows. For myself, I am looking at the floor, fiddling with my moustache to hide my grin -that is threatening to turn into laughter- from Lal. It's unheard of for Zhu to be anything except serious or slightly sarcastic at most. This display of humour is doubly effective thanks to it's unexpectedness; too bad it is entirely unappropriate at the moment.
"General Zhu, that was not funny."
"Yes it was", Lady Jane mumbles through clenched teeth. Zhu smiles, a bit embarrassed.
"I am sorry, Commissioner. I have studied twentieth century culture, and this bit just popped into my head. Please excuse me. But you must realize that this text is ridiculous!"
Lal frowns and shakes his head. "There is nothing in this message that is ridiculous or funny in any way. On the contrary, this is a nightmare. Miriam is asking me to take a stand in the Believer-University Vendetta by renouncing my treaty with the University. What is truly awful about this is that some University diplomats seem to suggest we do the same against the Believers! They both want me to tip the balance of this war to their favor, at least psychologically, and if I refuse our relationships will surely deteriorate."
Zhu nods. "Then you must say no to at least one of them as politely as you possibly can. Remember, she is showing you a carrot as well."
"Yes; their future assistance with the Hive. Madness! I don't want either conflict to spread more that they already have. If I agree to this we might end up arranged into two axises, with us and the Believers on one side, and the Hive and the University on the other. And if I side with the university it is the Believers who might side with the Hive. In addition, we are currently in a military co-operation with the university to find and punish the persons responsible for the poisoning of University Base." Lal shudders. "I will not support any action that could have such widespread detrimental effects to the stability of Planet."
Zhu looks annoyed. "Well you can't both eat the cake and keep it, commissioner."
Lal assumes his distant gaze that we know so well. Eventually, he purses his lips. "It's bad, but I think I see a way out. For now, the wishes of the University have not been expressed officially, so we will deal with that problem when it arises. As for the Believers, I intend to dictate a letter and I want you to listen. Here goes." He fiddles with the controls on his desk, and a red light indicates a recorder is activated. He is silent for a moment, and then clears his throat.
"Best greetings, sister Miriam of the Believers. I hope your religious practices are proceeding to your.." Lal hesitates and glares at Zhu. "...wishes. I have considered your request, and have come to a conclusion: Were I to scrap my current treaty with the University, I would also have to cancel the treaty that the Peacekeepers have with your faction as well. To do otherwise would signal that I support either side in this conflict, and I do not wish to do so. I must admit I am also concerned with doctor Zakharov's unethical research, but I still wish to maintain friendly relations with him, as I do with you. Your concern for the lives of the University citizens is well placed, but would sound more true in my ears had I not known of your habit of dealing out death for the slightest break of the rules in the Holy Bible as you currently interpret them."
Lal pauses for a moment.
"As for your offered assistance with the Hive, know that I am maintaining the vendetta out of necessity. Your help would escalate the conflict, and possibly prolong it as well; therefore I thank you for the suggestion, but fear I must decline. I am most honoured by your offer, however, and hope we can arrange some other form of cooperation, but in a less violent manner. You have my best wishes."
Lal stops the recording and lets his gaze wander over each of us in turn. "Well, what do you think?"
Zhu nods. "It's good once you remove that comment about her bible-thumping. That one could result in a surprise attack if I know her well." Lady Jane nods and smiles grimly.
"Very well." Lal edits out the sentence, and plays back the message. "Anything else?"
I sigh. "It would be interesting to know how the Believers managed to discover Superstring Theory ahead of all projected speeds."
Zhu looks at me and winks. "I would guess that Miriam keeps a datapad of Macchiavelli's 'The Prince' next to the Bible under her pillow."
I smile and nod. "Yeah. I guess so."
Even Lal smiles slightly. "Not that she has to. I think all the important bits are present in the Bible too, if you wish to read it that way. Too bad she doesn't appreciate hinduism; this would be much easier if she had a principle of nonviolence. Anyway, since none of you have any further suggestions, I will send this letter." Lal punches in some commands on his desk-terminal, and the recording is converted into text. Lal reads it through to make sure everything is correct, and then keys in the comm-frequency for the Believers.
A short notice on the terminal informs Lal that the message was sent successfully.
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