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East
1. Rangers (109 pts) v. 8. Senators (92 pts)
Hard to accept that the Rangers are really this good, since, you know, they're the goddamn Rangers. But, luckily for them, they're playing perennial playoff ********* Ottawa in round one. New York in 5
2. Bruins (102 pts) v. 7. Capitals (92 pts)
This should be marginally more entertaining that the NYR-OTT series, but assuming Tim Thomas recovers from his late season struggles, Boston should take this without too much ado. Boston in 5
3. Panthers (94 pts) v. 6. Devils (102 pts)
Jesus H. Christ. Here I was, ready to finally pick against the Devils in the first round, because they always blow it, but they draw the goddamned Panthers. Death to the Southeast. New Jersey in 6
4. Penguins (108 pts) v. 5. Flyers (103 pts)
Thunderdome. Absolute mother****ing Thunderdome. This should easily be the most entertaining series of the first round, and possibly the entire playoffs. Pittsburgh in 7
West
1. Canucks (111 pts) v. 8. Kings (95 pts)
Ahh, time again for every NHL fans favorite pasttime, hating on the Canucks. This is a tough draw for the lovable *******s of the Northwest, and my personal first round upset pick, because, seriously, **** Vancouver right in the ear. Los Angeles in 6
2. Blues (109 pts) v. 7. Sharks (97 pts)
St. Louis? St. Louis won the Central Division? Perhaps the Mayans were right. This **** will not stand, man. They have to face a team full of playoff vets in San Jose, but their otherworldly goaltending this season ought to see them through to the second round. St. Louis in 6
3. Coyotes (97 pts) v. 6. Blackhawks (101 pts)
Man, who knows what you're gonna get from Chicago any given night. Sometimes, they look like the old Red Army, sometimes they look like someone strapped some skates on a bunch of goddamn third graders. Consider this a protest pick against the Coyotes' continued existence. Chicago in 4
4. Predators (104 pts) v. 5. Red Wings (102 pts)
The biggest challenger to the PIT-PHI series in awesomeness, the Red Wings looked like they were gonna run away with the Central until a late season collapse aided by key injuries. Those injuries have (mostly) healed, and that will carry them through to round two. Detroit in 7
East champ: Pittsburgh
West champ: Detroit
Stanley Cup champ: Detroit
That's right. I'm going full homer.
1. Rangers (109 pts) v. 8. Senators (92 pts)
Hard to accept that the Rangers are really this good, since, you know, they're the goddamn Rangers. But, luckily for them, they're playing perennial playoff ********* Ottawa in round one. New York in 5
2. Bruins (102 pts) v. 7. Capitals (92 pts)
This should be marginally more entertaining that the NYR-OTT series, but assuming Tim Thomas recovers from his late season struggles, Boston should take this without too much ado. Boston in 5
3. Panthers (94 pts) v. 6. Devils (102 pts)
Jesus H. Christ. Here I was, ready to finally pick against the Devils in the first round, because they always blow it, but they draw the goddamned Panthers. Death to the Southeast. New Jersey in 6
4. Penguins (108 pts) v. 5. Flyers (103 pts)
Thunderdome. Absolute mother****ing Thunderdome. This should easily be the most entertaining series of the first round, and possibly the entire playoffs. Pittsburgh in 7
West
1. Canucks (111 pts) v. 8. Kings (95 pts)
Ahh, time again for every NHL fans favorite pasttime, hating on the Canucks. This is a tough draw for the lovable *******s of the Northwest, and my personal first round upset pick, because, seriously, **** Vancouver right in the ear. Los Angeles in 6
2. Blues (109 pts) v. 7. Sharks (97 pts)
St. Louis? St. Louis won the Central Division? Perhaps the Mayans were right. This **** will not stand, man. They have to face a team full of playoff vets in San Jose, but their otherworldly goaltending this season ought to see them through to the second round. St. Louis in 6
3. Coyotes (97 pts) v. 6. Blackhawks (101 pts)
Man, who knows what you're gonna get from Chicago any given night. Sometimes, they look like the old Red Army, sometimes they look like someone strapped some skates on a bunch of goddamn third graders. Consider this a protest pick against the Coyotes' continued existence. Chicago in 4
4. Predators (104 pts) v. 5. Red Wings (102 pts)
The biggest challenger to the PIT-PHI series in awesomeness, the Red Wings looked like they were gonna run away with the Central until a late season collapse aided by key injuries. Those injuries have (mostly) healed, and that will carry them through to round two. Detroit in 7
East champ: Pittsburgh
West champ: Detroit
Stanley Cup champ: Detroit
That's right. I'm going full homer.
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