Lori's Periodic Whinge About Still Being Single

[Kidlicious]

I don't try and I'm single.

[rah]

I thought that was because it was mutual. You hate women and they hate you.

[Elok]

This thread is not about Kid. Please do not make it about Kid.

[Bereta_Eder]

I'm turning 34 this week. From 16 to 27, I was in 3 long-term relationships. Since breaking up with the ex 6 years ago, I've been rejected a few times, gone on a couple dates with a few women, and had one brief but disastrous FWB thing. But mostly I've been alone, and I don't really understand why.

My period of romantic success coincides with my period of being a depressed little **** who pissed off everyone around me and couldn't keep a job. Now I have a degree, the beginnings of a career, significantly better emotional regulation, and a fairly stable life... but no romantic success to speak of. One might think current me would be more attractive to women than past me, but the evidence seems to indicate otherwise.

What am I doing wrong?

You're doing nothing wrong.

If you get a girl you'll get ****ed up immideatly again.

It's either stable and alone or ****ed up and dating

and women don't choose men like choosing furniture (that's a very stable chair)

[Bereta_Eder]

I've become much more eclectic throughout the years because alone peace of mind is intoxicating. I won't just give it up

[Lorizael]

You're doing nothing wrong.

If you get a girl you'll get ****ed up immideatly again.

It's either stable and alone or ****ed up and dating

and women don't choose men like choosing furniture (that's a very stable chair)

I was ****ed up before I became romantically entangled.

[Bereta_Eder]

Then you already know the road to it!
Let's not get lost in prioritizing semantics


About meeting women, divide your time. Think how much time you devote to work, how much time you have free. Now start going places and classes. Learn to speak japanese, go to creative writing theatrical groups whatever you muricans do when you're not obsessing about money. Join classes.

And a large and varied social network wouldn't hurt either but if you don't have it don't fret it

[Bereta_Eder]

Also, the greek word for partnrner is συν τροφος (the one you eat with) for husband/wife is συ ζυγος (the one you lift the weights of life with)

If you don't have weights to lift the imperative to get someone to lift them with you diminishes. That's me talking to myself but as the saying goes you hear truth from the little ones and the crazy ones and yes I'm not little

[Bereta_Eder]

When I broke up from a very long and freakishly stable relationship a friend of mine told me: I know what you need, I and a bunch of other guys get together every sunday and play D&D or something. And another friend had the exact same thing to propose. I was very sad but I knew one thing. That was not what I needed. That was the last thing I needed.
I enrolled in a theatrical class that I had previously quited. I got swarmed by girls. There were only two other males one of which was barely breathing and the other was married with 2 kids. I was the only choice by lack of any other alternative.
Nothing happened because I didn't want it to happen at that time, but I had the option.
I wouldn't try to "replicate/duplicate" something. What happened, happened at a certain place and a certain time that isn't now.
Instead if something isn't working, gets old or otherwise seems un-productive, simply change.

The ability to seek new things and accept change and act on it as fast as possible is key.

And entertain the outlandish possibility that you actually like being alone

[Elok]

Codex RFC posted.

[Kidlicious]

I was ****ed up before I became romantically entangled.

Then why do you want a gf?

[Lorizael]

Then why do you want a gf?

Because time moves forward?

[Kidlicious]

Because time moves forward?

Yeah. There just aren't that many good women out there. It's a lot of trouble and you have to go through a lot of bad ones.

[Lorizael]

Codex RFC posted.

/me gulps. Thanks. The unexplained reticence, btw, is due almost entirely to the extremely annoying formatting that makes subsequent replies comically and unreadably narrow. So I just lurk instead.

[Dinner]

Ultimately, it is a numbers game. You have to put yourself out there 10 times to get 1 decent connection and it sounds like you are just not doing that often enough.