Advanced technologies/inventions you'd be happy to become available in your lifetime

[Dinner]

I'm hoping we get spam bots that make coherent and interesting posts.

We have Sava bots so...

[Aeson]

They are interesting, but ... coherent is a stretch sometimes!

[OneFootInTheRave]

you have
no
idea
of
theblessings
count en ants

[Aeson]

I feel bad that you haven't made a parody login of me. Asson isn't available?

[Dinner]

I honestly never thought something as advanced as the fart catcher 2000 or the fart absorbing underwear would become reality in my lifetime. Clearly we live in a wondrous age. Forget the advancements in computers or AI... This is the important stuff.

[Dinner]

Another great invention... crab snares made from from synthetic nylon material with cheap metal bait boxes. The fact that I can make one cheaply at home to catch yellow crab, or spider crab, or even the odd Southern California Dungeness carb is clearly a major technological break though. ****, I even caught a loner with one once. I be eating well due to a $0.50 payment to DuPont, yo.

[Broken_Erika]

I honestly never thought something as advanced as the fart catcher 2000 or the fart absorbing underwear would become reality in my lifetime. Clearly we live in a wondrous age. Forget the advancements in computers or AI... This is the important stuff.

Something that could bottle it and use the methane to generate power, then you can charge your smart phone or MP3 player!

[Lorizael]

Something that could bottle it and use the methane to generate power, then you can charge your smart phone or MP3 player!

Methane combustion gets you 56 kJ of energy per gram. My cell phone has a 3000 mAh battery. At 4.2 volts, that's 45 kJ. So let's just say 1 gram of methane can fully charge a cell phone. Unfortunately, the median fart is around 90 ml, with something like 10% being methane. 9 ml of methane is about 5 mg. So you need about 200 farts to fully charge a cell phone.

[Uncle Sparky]

The perfect gift for the lactose intolerant.

[Broken_Erika]

Methane combustion gets you 56 kJ of energy per gram. My cell phone has a 3000 mAh battery. At 4.2 volts, that's 45 kJ. So let's just say 1 gram of methane can fully charge a cell phone. Unfortunately, the median fart is around 90 ml, with something like 10% being methane. 9 ml of methane is about 5 mg. So you need about 200 farts to fully charge a cell phone.

A diet of canned beans and bran flakes should do the trick.

[rah]

Methane combustion gets you 56 kJ of energy per gram. My cell phone has a 3000 mAh battery. At 4.2 volts, that's 45 kJ. So let's just say 1 gram of methane can fully charge a cell phone. Unfortunately, the median fart is around 90 ml, with something like 10% being methane. 9 ml of methane is about 5 mg. So you need about 200 farts to fully charge a cell phone.

I knew there was a reason why I still come here. This is most informative post that I have ever read.
There are sites where I would love to use this as a signature. Only with your permission of course.

[Lorizael]

I knew there was a reason why I still come here. This is most informative post that I have ever read.
There are sites where I would love to use this as a signature. Only with your permission of course.

Hah. Go ahead.

[Broken_Erika]

I would like a De-stupidification ray. But i'll settle for a WIFI that never goes down.

[Proteus_MST]

A diet of canned beans and bran flakes should do the trick.

Or brain flakes, if you are a zombie

[Broken_Erika]

Or brain flakes, if you are a zombie

Zombie Farts? Someone light a match!
No wait.
Bad idea.

[ricketyclik]

Cheap, reliable stem cell technology. For whatever ails you. I'm not necessarily talking life extension, but quality of life extension would be good.