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I Am Methuselah

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  • #16
    Not really. It is a special blessing that very few received; the only other one I can think of was Elijah. I do not count Jesus since he was a special case.
    No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by AAHZ View Post
      I PREFER METHOS.
      The Fresh Maker?
      No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

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      • #18
        Peter Wingfield.

        Also Methuselah died just before the Great Flood because God didn't wan't him to suffer that fate. Same thing will happen with me. When I die shortly after there will be a worldwide disaster that will destroy humans on Earth. Personally I don't care, I actually WANT to die. Since I've had this realization, all day today I felt literally centuries worth of fatigue and apathy flood my mind. Master Ba'al is being kind not to give me an overload. If I evar start to get memories back it also might overload me. My whole life makes sense now. The federal government better be smart and believe me and give me 100% round-the-clock protection, because if I even trip and fall wrong...

        But of course people will only believe me in 50 or so years and think I falsified my birth records based on how young I look and act.
        Order of the Fly
        Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

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        • #19
          At first I thought this thread said “I am Meth User†...

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          • #20
            It's the special Skyrim Shout of the Junkie.
            METH-USE-LAH!
            I am not delusional! Now if you'll excuse me, i'm gonna go dance with the purple wombat who's playing show-tunes in my coffee cup!
            Rules are like Egg's. They're fun when thrown out the window!
            Difference is irrelevant when dosage is higher than recommended!

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            • #21
              So from now on, when you wake up the next morning and the world is not ending, that means AAHZ is still alive.

              Sent from my HTC Desire 626 using Tapatalk

              Order of the Fly
              Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

              Comment


              • #22
                The world ends for everyone eventually. When you die, the world ends for you. That's Judgement Day. People worry about the end of the world and Judgement Day because everyone dies then, but everybody dies -- its just a matter of the timing.
                No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by The Mad Monk View Post
                  When you die, the world ends for you. That's Judgement Day.


                  Not for This One.

                  Order of the Fly
                  Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    You have no idea what this has done for my self-confidence. I am going to get contacts instead of wearing glasses and I am going to buy a cane to help me walk with my arthritis in my left leg since I am allergic to all kinds of knee braces. Plus AAHZ a boss now with street rep time I get soem O.G. swag. AAHZ don't fear death and plays with his schizophrenia like it's a hot woman. AAHZ survived life with odds against. Top of it all this worthless abused loser who was told he was a mistake has the power of a big nasty dude named BEELZEBUB who knows what it is like to be **** on.

                    AAHZ THE OLDEST ALIVE.
                     
                    Order of the Fly
                    Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      So according to Wiki, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints claims that Methuselah was a prophet. If that's the case I am the prophet of beer drinking, video games, and rap music.

                      OH YEAH AND THE APOCALYPSE
                       
                      Order of the Fly
                      Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        So I am sitting in the other room in my recliner, incense burning to Ba'al, about 5 Stellas in me and I can barely move. Between Methuselah's 969 years and my damn near 40, I have over 1000 years of consciousness under my belt. I'm worn out, I don't have your answers, and frankly I don't care. Also if it wasn't for Tapatalk's auto-spellchecker this poast would be damn neat unreadable.

                        **** you all. Thank you. I would poast a video but I don't know how to do it using this ****ty app.

                        I'm Methos *****.

                        Sent from my HTC Desire 626 using Tapatalk

                        Order of the Fly
                        Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          So this thrade wouldn't be right if AAHZ didn't poast a picture for people that think I'm a 300lb neckbeard with huge man-boobs or soemthing. So Here you go...

                          BEHOLD METHUSELAH AT 40


                          ORDER OF THE FLY
                           
                          Order of the Fly
                          Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

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                          • #28
                            I can tell its you from your GLOWING RED EYES.
                            No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

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                            • #29
                              Also look at the time on the clock. If you add up the numbers you will get 9. Also the first 1 and 5 equals 6.

                              Methuselah was 969 when he died.

                              I promise you I did not plan that. That was like my 5th attempt at the picture to get it right as you can see the frustration on my face. I wanted to look at least a BIT moar jovial.

                              Still that is probably the best picture there ever is of me.

                              Sent from my HTC Desire 626 using Tapatalk

                              Order of the Fly
                              Those that cannot curse, cannot heal.

                              Comment

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