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WILL I BANG THIS CHICK?

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  • WILL I BANG THIS CHICK?

    The title is an homage to my efforts in this thread from 8 ****ing years ago, because apparently I haven't learned a goddamn thing in the intervening time.

    So I'm a TA again this semester, and all us astronomy TAs share a single office. There's a fellow TA with whom I share office hours every Friday. She's still a student, but in the same age range I am because she's working on her second degree. She's a TA for a different astronomy class, so we really only see each other when our office hours line up. (Although in previous semesters we've had classes together and run into each other.)

    Anyway, when she comes in for her Friday office hours, I'm already there, and she's taken to striking up conversations with me because, I guess, she's a friendly person. I enjoy talking to her and it seems like we get along pretty well. This past Friday, she came into the office--which has several different tables and was completely unoccupied except for me--and sat down at my table and immediately started talking to me. We talked for a couple hours until I had to leave to go run a lab. I haven't had anyone show this much interest in me since my spectacularly ill-fated attempt at casual sex last spring, so all and all it was a pleasant time.

    Now, it's entirely possible that her interest in me doesn't extend beyond wanting to make a friend roughly her age, but this seems as good an opportunity as any to try my hand at the whole being actively social thing. So how do I make this happen, Apolyton? What can I do beyond my entirely passive strategy of not acknowledging her in any other context unless she initiates contact and hoping that I'm an interesting enough conversationalist that she fights past her own frustration at my lack of initiative and forces me to interact with her rather than getting bored and deciding to talk to someone else? This is obviously an awful strategy, but it's a safe one that has worked more than once.
    Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
    "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

  • #2
    "I really like talking with you, but you've probably noticed that I'm a little shy. This is difficult for me, but I'd like to suggest that we just go ahead and have sex now. Otherwise, my fear of rejection might mean we would never get around to it, which would really be a shame. Either way, it's better for us to find out now, so it won't be hanging over our growing friendship. What do you think?"
    Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
    RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

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    • #3
      You want to. That seems very evident from your poast.

      You have your answer. The answer is "yes, you want to".

      So do something. Say something.

      Ask her for a date.



      Here are physics equations:

      No action = no reaction

      Do nothing = nothing happens

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Braindead View Post
        You want to. That seems very evident from your poast.

        You have your answer. The answer is "yes, you want to".
        I'm not, like, super into this chick or anything. We both like astronomy, share some other interests, and have kind of similar stories about how we decided to go back to school. But that's all there is so far. That's probably a good enough starting point, but historically my response to decent starting points is to ignore them completely until they go away.
        Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
        "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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        • #5
          It sounds like you definitely like her and enjoy her company.

          Making "friends" sounds like a very good idea and simply see what happens from there.

          Just don't tell her that you want to explore the rings of Uranus.

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          • #6
            Ask her if she would accompany you to a movie or an astrophysics lecture or whatever might interest her.

            Do something ............

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            • #7
              How about you set aside the possibility of coitus (don't rule it out, just don't concoct a master plan to pursue it) and just focus on building a relationship of indeterminate type with this woman and seeing where it goes? You can't really plan relationships, because half of them necessarily involves the other person's unknowable input.
              1011 1100
              Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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              • #8
                Thread title is mostly for comedic value. I just... I legitimately don't know what the next step is, regardless of what my goal is. I'm sure there is something that a normal, socially capable, well-adjusted human would do to foster the growth of an indeterminate relationship, but I honestly don't know what that is.
                Last edited by Lorizael; February 19, 2017, 00:58.
                Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Elok View Post
                  How about you set aside the possibility of coitus (don't rule it out, just don't concoct a master plan to pursue it) and just focus on building a relationship of indeterminate type with this woman and seeing where it goes? You can't really plan relationships, because half of them necessarily involves the other person's unknowable input.
                  Well put.

                  That is what I was trying to say.

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                  • #10
                    She came up to you and started a greatly extended conversation with no apparent ulterior motive. This should be taken as effective license to reciprocate, within reasonable bounds and until proven otherwise. The next time interesting (some astronomy thing) comes around, ask her opinion about it. If discussion does not die like a landed fish, suggest continuing at a later date over coffee. There is no need to establish any context for the meeting beyond continuing a conversation with an interesting person. Also, exchange e-mail or become friends on FB. That is allowed last I checked.
                    1011 1100
                    Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                    • #11
                      For context, I did not get to meet my wife in person until I had Yahoo Instant Messaged her intermittently for a year. There was a lot of talking going on. We could yak for hours about whatever. It went somewhere, and none of the time was wasted.
                      1011 1100
                      Pyrebound--a free online serial fantasy novel

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Elok View Post
                        She came up to you and started a greatly extended conversation with no apparent ulterior motive.
                        I'm not yet convinced the entire astronomy department isn't playing some cruel trick on me for some reason.

                        If discussion does not die like a landed fish, suggest continuing at a later date over coffee. There is no need to establish any context for the meeting beyond continuing a conversation with an interesting person.
                        This part has always seemed inconceivable to me. I'm very bad at moving interaction with a person outside of whatever context we know each other in because then it becomes clear that I'm doing something out of the ordinary.

                        For context, I did not get to meet my wife in person until I had Yahoo Instant Messaged her intermittently for a year. There was a lot of talking going on. We could yak for hours about whatever. It went somewhere, and none of the time was wasted.
                        This is how girlfriend 2 and I got together, except it was AIM. Good conversation is never wasted.
                        Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                        "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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                        • #13
                          RE: No

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                          • #14
                            Chances are, she has already figured out you are shy and socially different, and she doesn't mind. Don't ask yourself what you should do, ask yourself what you want to do, and then do it.
                            In Soviet Russia, Fake borises YOU.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Bereta_Eder View Post
                              RE: No
                              I mean, you're probably right, but care to elaborate on why?
                              Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                              "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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