maybe a bit depressed

[Bereta_Eder]

I mean even if you have problems, these are happy problems.

[Bereta_Eder]

We're not here to have fun and be happy.
We're here to be in pain and sacrifice.

[Buster Crabbe's Uncle]

Look for pleasure, wherever you may find it. It's mostly found in simple things in my experience. I got a great deal of pleasure out of planting a tree today. Smile at people. They usually smile back. It helps.

Learn to be still.

Forgive. Don't judge, or try to second guess.

(Advice to myself more than anyone else).

WRT the kids, I experienced the same thing when my first three were young, like yours. They're older now, and I wish I was more present with them back then. I manage to be more present with my fourth, now three, but still falter. They can be boring, irritating little eejits, after all.

This is the Tao, and it is wise and good for you.

[Bereta_Eder]

Tao scmhstao
Life is a constant battle forward. But you have to fight for something greater than yourself.
Happiness is brought by sacrificing yourself for something bigger.

Otherwise it makes no sense. It's useless. You just live. You don't create.
Taking care of yourself is narcissistic and empty.

Then I suppose whatever works.

Everyone has his own destiny and fighting it is useless.

[ricketyclik]

We're not here to have fun and be happy.
We're here to be in pain and sacrifice.

I disagree. We're here to be here.

[Bereta_Eder]

I suppose.
If there is an antidote to my morose, closed, non travelling self it's the SO.
I have more fun and have seen so many things/places that I didn't think possible.
And while I always feel there's something missing, I distinctly remember a moment when I hugged her and the whole of athens was at our feet that I thought and believed that I could die right now and I'm content. First time I ever felt something like that, never felt it again but the memory lingers

Most of the time I'm thankful
When I'm with her I'm normal and I like my reflection on her eyes

[Buster Crabbe's Uncle]

I've had a thing going on lately - there was a minor/moderate annoyance, the sort of thing that you want a couple hours off to cool down before you respond -adrenaline damps higher brain functions by design, so I try not to act while a little high on the stuff- and a couple of people I truly adored went high drama, so I had to act before I was ready because they were going to ruin it - and then there was a recrimination escalation spiral I couldn't avoid, no matter how carefully I tried to explain my boundary they'd kicked over, until I had to take the nuclear option.

NOBODY sabotages my coping system, not when I managed to say "I need time, please" and none of it had to happen.

It turned into them or me - but I don't feel great about myself right now, having to take drastic action in self-defense and act somewhat like the guy I work at not being -and the one they were accusing me of indulging being, missing the entire point-. Time to engage coping mechanisms now that I have a chance.



The sky out my window is a pretty color - and my feet are dry. [shrugs] Things could be worse.

[Bereta_Eder]

The thing is that things change so rapidly (I mean emotions) that you need your whole arsenal of coping mechanisms, people that love you to go through life.
And that's fine.
But when things are *really* starting to go your way (or you simply think they do because you're in a temporary babble of circumstances) your self cries "I want moar".
You don't realize that the setting you're in is what actually has set you in the position to ask for more.
And if you cut the branch so to speak maybe not only you'll not get moar but you'll lose what you have.

Humility is good. It's what keeps us grounded.
I suppose life will tell.


I do get pissed off with people like Lori though because he's fighting a battle he can't win.
He's standing at the edge of a ferocious river with its waters assaulting him and he thinks he can save himself just by flapping his arms around.

NO.

You build a dam and that dam is called love.
Go out and find it

[ricketyclik]

You build a dam and that dam is called love.
Go out and find it

I agree, but love is all around, not just with a SO. You get the love that you allow. Love begets love.

[Bereta_Eder]

Love in the sense that I'm talking about is what energizes. I'm pretty sure about that and that it stands for the vast majority of people.

I was thinking about words.

One of the greek words for sadness is στεναχώρια. Stenos mean narrow and Horos means space.
Sadness is the lack of space. The feeling of confinement.

[ricketyclik]

Love in the sense that I'm talking about is what energizes. I'm pretty sure about that and that it stands for the vast majority of people.

I think you're drawing a long bow there. Story books, movies and songs depict this, because it's the most intense, and so far as energising goes, maybe so, but sustaining one through hard times? Garden variety love from friends, neighbours and family is what gets you through.

[Bereta_Eder]

To explain further this feeling of freedom can only be attained through a fulfilling relationship.
Or maybe not and I'm wrong.

My mind goes to a tv show that has people travelling all over the world. And they reached a small city in argentina. There was a grandma of inteterminable age and they asked her, grandma what is the secret for spending your whole life with another person. And she said that a basic component is to have the same way of viewing the world (check) and the same ambitions... (wants)

Then my mind goes to fight club the scene where brad bit takes the wheel off the hands of norton and says something like "why are you afraid to let go"

That's why I don't like free time alone. It messes with your mind

[ricketyclik]

There are over 7 billion people on the planet. Why confine your sustenance to the person you have sex with?

[Bereta_Eder]

You don't, of course, but a loving relationship is a fundamental part of equilibrium.
There's nothing greater that feel you have an ally in whatever life throws at you. (and the sex!)
In my case loving family is taken for granted.

The books and films and stories all are great but they are a coping mechanism for the time untill again you are with someone.
Which is the end game really.
One person. For life.
This is the ideal, to which we strive.

There are very few people who can go through life alone, and IMHO are divided in two categories. Those that can't do otherwise and those that have done so much soulsearching that they are able to form an agreeable part with life on their own.
Both stink of misery to me, without saying I'm denigrating these people.

BTW I'm talking about more or less happy relationships.

[ricketyclik]

Yeah, see, I don't think we agree here. Going though life without a SO isn't necessarily going through life alone.

I reckon the SO thing is largely driven by the biological imperative to reproduce. Once you've done that... Nice, but not essential.