positivew news thread!

[rah]

My strategy is to be myself, polite, smile a lot, listen and talk.

The most important part.

[Pekka]

Yes. You know how much fun it is to be around a woman who is interesting, intelligent, passionate about things? It is actually fun to just listen! When she gets exicted,, her hands start waving a lot and she starts grabbing me in excitement. So yes, I just listen. At most, take mental notes, nod and smile.

[Bereta_Eder]

The bad thing about staying with one woman is that you can't have the bazzilion more.

But it's a good thing

[Pekka]

She might be open to all kinds of things - you never know!

Maybe one is enough, if it's the right one.

I did ask her if she wanted to go and see Star Wars with me on Saturday, and she said sorry, she is busy the whole week but we should go and see Star Trek later.

I mean she did say she will be busy every single day of the week earlier on. But I jsut wanted to send her a text because I'm just waiting to get to her place next wednesday.

One thing I have to tell her though... she does not know that I've had cancer. I hope it is not a big problem, she is a doctor so she might be turned off. Not in any other way except a serious relationship thing might be off the table. I hope not. But... she did like me initially so she still must like me, and she has to know at some point and I don't want to carry this as a burden so better just come out with it in a natural, yet awkward way. She has most likely googled me already and knows, so I definitely should just let her know, give it a positive spin.

I mean, if she really does like me, then this is nothing but what could happen some day, in theory. In practice everyone gets sick at some point anyway. EVeryone will die. I am healthy and do not consider myself ill. I have deficiency in defense mechanism, but that is it. IF oyu want to speculate beyond that, it will be nothing but a life wasted instead of one fully lived.

But yes, I am scared she might kind of turn me down after that.Fortunately soon we will see.

[Dinner]

She sounds like a keeper and she probably is just busy this week. Adults end up having lots of things on their plate sometimes so just be happy she did agree to go watch a movie with you later on and then make the most of that time.

I am happy to hear things are going well for you, Pekka.

[Pekka]

She sounds like a keeper and she probably is just busy this week. Adults end up having lots of things on their plate sometimes so just be happy she did agree to go watch a movie with you later on and then make the most of that time.

I am happy to hear things are going well for you, Pekka.

I know she is busy. She really is. Doctors in here keep craaazy hours like in every country. Doing 16 hours shifts and on top of that specialicing in internal medicine so that takes up time as well. She literally has no time at the moment. I'm glad we are still on for the 23rd. It is a special day anyway, I can give her a christmas present and feel natural about it. I think I have the perfect gift in what I planned. Not too expensive, not too insignificant, it is my own memento that she can appreciate, and not feel awkward.

If she can get passed by my medical history, we are in! She already really liked me. You know she has her own steampunk group. I am not kidding. I had to shut my mouth at some point because it as just too perfect. At the same time she was kind of not sure about herself, if she was too geeky or weird. But no! She is the weird to my strange. Together we can be undefeated against all the normal of the world. During the day time, we go to work concervative jobs, respectful professionalsl, but by night, we get the geek on!

Yeah! So, if the history is not a big problem, then tehre is nothing that can stop this from going further... it's too natural. I'll change my nickname to natural after that.

I don't know if there is a purpose to this life or not, but at the moment, I have a good (though somewhat boring) job, I am at good health, 2 healthy kids, NO annoying wife, my own house, and possibly a real superwoman. My Trinity, Eowyn, Galadriel wrapped into one sexy and a bit kinky package! Added with actual brain power and social skills. Now Pekka.. do not screw this up... tentacle porn jokes were still OK. Maybe we should not go further with the Dahmer jokes.

[Bereta_Eder]

As always you glorify the girl in your mind and then if she turns out to not be what you imagined you are let down

boooo

whereas you shoud just have fun and not expect much

but I guess that other process is also fun

[Pekka]

As always you glorify the girl in your mind and then if she turns out to not be what you imagined you are let down

boooo

whereas you shoud just have fun and not expect much

but I guess that other process is also fun

True, but not just in my mind. But you are correct. Her ex-husband might have a thing or two to say.

Like the saying goes, show me a pretty woman and I'll show you a man who is sick of her ****.

[Kidlicious]

I hope she accepts your history Pekka. I guess you didn't consider buying flowers because it's conservative or something. I think women like them.

[Pekka]

I hope she accepts your history Pekka. I guess you didn't consider buying flowers because it's conservative or something. I think women like them.

me, too. I won't just bring it up though. I will discuss it while telling a hiking story becaue I still do volunteer work for cancer research. But I won't leave not telling her. But like said, she probably already knwos and is just waiting for me to say it. Or not.

I will bring her a poinsettia, the traditional Christmas flower.

[Pekka]

Wait, I changed my mind. No, she still rules, but I won't bring her flowers. It is not my style. I will be true to myself. I think it will be more appreciated. I will give her the geekiest thing she has ever gotten.

I talked to my friend today at the gym who I usually work out with. She knows my whole story as she has witnessed it for a long time. Ever since it begun with the divorce ****. I've grown to trust her judgement. She's been right a few times. She knows me well and how I deal with situations, including women. So... I just updated that I have a crush on her and it's insane. I've gone insane, temporarily. I didn't use the word crush, I just said I like her. So we talked how she was from another side of the world and gave her few examples of what we did/talked about and she quickly returned with "you have a crush on her! I can see it! I know you, I've never seen you actually like this. She sounds very cool." Well we know this much already.
I was a mess but 1 hour work out with a friend helped a lot.

So then I expressed my fear of rejection and how I should present this to her. She said well, don't worry, just say what is on my mind, ask how she feels about it, remember to say that it is in the past. Then, she made a good point. She is a grown person, an adult. Even as a doctor then, she must not be stupid. It won't be a problem, she can deal with it. And I have to believe my friend. Suddenly, I won't feel that pressure so badly.

When ever I feel it I just realised this is an opportunity to tell that I made this journey last summer, raised money for good cause and destroyed my feet in the process. She loves hiking as well, and happens to be into all kinds of meta things and transcendence. So what fortune! I did hiking up to a point of damn crossing a point of my own limits more than a few times and found my inner killer whale. In Fight Club Tyler Durden finds Penguin who said "slide". I found killer whale that says "MMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOoohhh!". Well, this is a good way to clean the skeletons out of the closet. With that story. SO it's not just blurting out but actually letting her know something more about myself. I hope she can appreciate it and see character and will of power, and also good will for others. The main purpose that was not hedonistic was basically to inspire those who got ill. I think she cannot deny me after that. Of course unless she's really into boring mainstream guys with mostly drinking stories and a small unsatisfying penis.

This way I can deliver the news that is difficult for me to talk about in a positive way, make it interesting and she will appreciate that I came forward with it as well. Yeah.Even if it goes south, I think this is the right thing to do.

blaablaablaa TLDR; I have a strategy now and I think it will work.

[Pekka]

More positive news! Well... first she cancelled as being sick, which she was. I mean she is kidn of literal in her messages so she will be direct. She could just as well say "darling, get the f out now". Not her style, but if someone would do it, it's her. So I of course understood she is ill. Then she texted me yesterday "hey I actually am feeling better already, can you still come over?" Then 2 hours later I was at her place, we were having a blast, cooking together, making cookies, drinking some hot wine (because its Xmas). It soon became obvious that she is really still sick, she kept losing her voice and was getting tired so she still offered me to sleep in her couch. But that was perfect. I would have had to turn sex down because I really like her and I think it's not the time.

So we woke up and ate breakfast, coffee, etc. Wrapped some presents and watched her favourite Xmas movie, the Hogfather (Terry Pratchett movie). So... then I dropped her off at her friends house wayyy late when she was supposed to be there and agreed we'd go out soon to see either the new SW or ST. I think her actual reply was "f*ing yes I would".

We got into few difficult areas, so I avoided the whole tumor thing together, as we talked about deal breakers and she was very clear what she wants in a man and I felt good because I felt exactly the same. Didn't say it though. She has like a dilemma of either following her heart or the brain, but I think in this case she will follow her heart. She wasn't upset as much as she was surprised as I showed my kids' photos, because she thought I only had one. And then the question for her really was if I was open to having more some day in theory. But I like how she slows things down to make it comfortable.

But we are definitely at serial dating stage. I feel that before we go into a relationship, I will have to tell her. Maybe during the movie night. She also told me something about her so I did not want to push anything else with this thing. But I got a feeling she will accept it. Most likely she will feel a bit betrayed by me not telling her but then again, it is personal and in the past, and we are dating, not in a relationship yet. But she even asked if I had considered when I could bring a date to see the kids and I said it depends when the date wants. But not too soon. That is relationship, then.

So my Xmas almost failed miserably, but then just at the last second, a Hollywood movie like ending

[Pekka]

I think it was the perfect thing to do. First, get me a bit drunk and let's spend some great time, no kissie kissie because still ill and VERY health oriented as a doctor, no sex either but darling you have been drinking, you can stay the night... So yes. It is a different thing to let a strange man seep in your house. So we are now in the kissing and hugging and spending the night over but no damn sex because we make this thing work. I like it.

[Pekka]

Well I guess the last 20 hour date went well enough since she wants to go to Star Wars with me tonight. Being super busy I know she is just cleaning up her calendar for it. So much appreciated.

She did say, we play this game of x or y. And truth is always expected in other would you rather or what is your most, least... As you would. So the what she ever wanted to be was her mom, meaning a good mother. Now she has 0 children because her old husband could not produce quality semen for her. So my 2 kid are not a problem at all, but she prefers all options open, which they of course are. Not keen on it right now but down the line, why not. So... her being a doctor gives this multiple spins, like not only is she smart, she is also very warm and extrovert. Super extrovert, in a good way. I really like that. I am also a bit of an extrovery, or ambivert.

But the best part is that we are going out tonight again! So now I do get the opportunity. We're going to see the new star wars, and she knows more about it than I so a paradox there, she is a female though. And now I have to shower and my wardrobe disaster seems to continue! Oh well I think if she can have a relationship with me, she will accept my wardrobe malfunction for tonight. I'll have to dess up a bit.

But positive news thread continues, your man in the Nordics is going for the nTh date with a geek goddess. I can't believe she is still into me. I gook a **** at her house, too. One of them dominators. Then I used some of that scent stuff and the toilet (which she calls the loo) smelled like cannabis. STRONG cannabis. So either the neighbour is making some, or someone else in the building is connecting their air out into the air conditioning system and not filtering out the air (possible), OR she has some. It was not an aftersmoke smell, it was too strong. Like a coupld of good strong buds somewhere. It's cool, I don't mind. We can hit it up and watch Dr Who and have weird hand-stand sex and break all the shelves due to poor coordination. And realised we still have our clothes on. I am all for it!

I've made up my mind. We will grab a quick eat after the movie, she is going to her friend's b-day party and so I have to respect that. She is squeezing me on an almost impossible slot anyway. Had to call my ex to say bring the kids later. "why?" "private matter, sorry, or bring them earlier to my dads". And snap! Nothing could be done about that. OBEY! Pays off for me to have been way too flexible for 2 years. My time to make some wishes to be understood as demands unless it goes nicely.

Now... I'll go to the shower so I won't bee in a too much of a hurry.