Did Jesus ever have unintentional boners and wet drems etc., or were his genitals pretty much non-functional?

[DaShi]

Meanwhile hell is all about sex.

[PLATO]

In Muslim heaven you supposedly get virgins (presumably willing virgins, otherwise that would be pretty ****ed) - I doubt that sex is allowed in Christian heaven since everybody will be sterile and you can't have sex except for procreation (although maybe you give birth to cherubs or something if you're in heaven, where by "cherub" I mean those cute flying babies, not the angels with four faces and four wings and cow feet etc).

Yeah, but don't you have to be a martyr to get them? Seems like a steep price. Still....worth thinking about.

[PLATO]

Meanwhile hell is all about sex.

Isn't is supposed to be nasty sex though?

Hmmmm...wait a minute.

[loinburger]

Meanwhile hell is all about sex.

Meaning that people are gonna get raped, yee-haw [/prison rape enthusiast, furiously fapping]

[PLATO]

Meaning that people are gonna get raped, yee-haw [/prison rape enthusiast, furiously fapping]

Who is the raper and who is the rapee? More evil get you raper status?

[DaShi]

Yeah, but the creepy part is that they still call it "making love."

[loinburger]

Yeah, but don't you have to be a martyr to get them? Seems like a steep price. Still....worth thinking about.

It's pretty straightforward to be a Muslims martyr - Christian martyrs usually had to get crucified or eaten by lions or whatever, whereas Muslim martyrs tend to get blown up.

[loinburger]

Who is the raper and who is the rapee? More evil get you raper status?

I suppose the demons are the rapers, although I thought they were also supposed to be being punished - so maybe especially devout folks from heaven get to visit hell and do some raping? I dunno.

[PLATO]

So...

Christians - gold and a nice pad
Muslims - virgin sex
Hellbound - Nasty sex

I think Sava may need more options. Is there a marijuana heaven in any religion? If not, maybe THAT explains why Sava is an atheist.

[loinburger]

I wrote a short story awhile back where some Pharisee-type guy dies, and St. Peter or some angel or whoever says "hey, you want a job torturing people in hell?" and the guy says "Oh boy do I ever" and St. Peter/angel/whoever says "honeypot trap sprung, *******" and the Pharisee-type guy gets reincarnated as a driver's ed instructor or something. For some reason nobody wanted to publish it.

[PLATO]

Yeah, but the creepy part is that they still call it "making love."

That's odd. Love is usually more associated with "good" than "evil"

[loinburger]

That's odd. Love is usually more associated with "good" than "evil"

From The Prophecy

Catherine: Go to hell!

Gabriel: Heaven, darling. Heaven. At least get the zip code right.

Catherine: It's all the same to you, isn't it?

Gabriel: No. In heaven, we believe in love.

Catherine: What do you love, Gabriel?

Gabriel: Cracking your skull.

[Kidlicious]

No, the issue is whether your behavior is acceptable (and to be clear, you're certainly not the only one guilty of making this a toxic environment - however you best exemplify this behavior seeing as how you're the only one who's proud of it). If Aeson decides that your behavior is fine, then congratulations. If he decides that it's inappropriate, then you always have the option of finding a "better" forum (you might want to check out **** You And Die).

Previously when you were grudgingly refraining from making death threats you said that you did so because you respected the forum rules. This is just about changing the forum rules - I've stated my opinion that your behavior is unacceptable, you've stated your opinion that you have the right to do whatever the hell you want, now it's out of our hands.

You and gibbler are the problem. We need fair rules. You and gibbler should be banned until Aeson works this out.

[loinburger]

Why should we be banned?

[Kidlicious]

Why should we be banned?

Trolling