So, uh, what do you do when it's so cold your car won't start?

[Lorizael]

Uh, yeah, not cool.

[C0ckney]

light a fire underneath the fuel tank to warm it up.

[Bereta_Eder]

kick it in the dingding

[Bereta_Eder]

probably it's the battery gone flat because of the cold so you need to get a portable battery charger and recharge it. or get cables and recharge it from another car's battery.

disclaimer: I'm not quite sure I know what I'm talking about.

[rah]

When it is this cold I keep a portable battery charged and with my vehicle. It also helps if you want to be a good Samaritan. You don't have to worry about positioning your car to get the cables to reach. That portable battery has saved me a few times and I've helped dozens of other stranded motorists.

[Lorizael]

What options do I have that don't involve me leaving my house and going somewhere else?

[Bereta_Eder]

Call technical assistance, pretend you're ill and can't get out and give them the keys to your car from your front door?

ohh! make it more dramatic by saying you need to get to the doctor ASAP.
That way they'll come faster.

But only do this once

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boy_Who_Cried_Wolf

[Dauphin]

Phone AA? Or AAA as it is probably better known there?

But then why do you need a car if you are not leaving the house or going anywhere else? Are you driving it around the indoor racing track at your home?

[Lorizael]

I'm not going anywhere else because my car won't start.

[Felch]

I blame global warming.

[Dauphin]

But your car won't start because you won't leave the house. It's a feedback nightmare!

[Lorizael]

But your car won't start because you won't leave the house. It's a feedback nightmare!

[Elok]

When that happens, I try not to cry, for fear that the tears will freeze on my cheeks.

That's pretty much all I've got.

[Lorizael]

There's also no food (that belongs to me) in the house. My current plan is to get pizza delivered and then steal the delivery boy's car.

[C0ckney]

have you considered walking?