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*NERD SPOILER ALERT [Maybe]* about Star Wars

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  • *NERD SPOILER ALERT [Maybe]* about Star Wars

    I just saw this on Facebook. I never read any of the books, does any of this sound reasonable?

    Spoiler:
    http://uproxx.com/gammasquad/2014/07...s-john-boyega/
    Imagine the standard Star Wars crawl, and when it ends the camera pans up to the stars. But instead of a spaceship zooming into frame we see… a hand! A severed hand, tumbling through space. A severed hand gripping a light saber.

    That hand falls onto a desert planet, [Ed.- they later said this is NOT Tatooine] where it is discovered by characters who will be our heroes. One is Daisy Ridley. The other is John Boyega, who is playing someone trying to change his path in life (again, I’m keeping it vague here). They recognize the light saber as a Jedi relic and decide to return it to the proper people.

    Their quest takes them off world, and they meet up with Han Solo and Chewbacca, who aren’t flying around in the Millenium Falcon anymore but are piloting… well, that could be a spoiler. I’ll leave it. Anyway, Han and Chewie recognize the light saber as Luke’s, and they say they haven’t seen their friend in thirty years, since the events of Return of the Jedi.

    So begins a quest to find the missing Jedi Master. Meanwhile, on an ice planet, nefarious forces are building a super weapon, one capable of destroying not planets but entire solar systems.

  • #2
    95%+ of the books involve "imperial fragment builds superweapon of doom" so that part's probably accurate.

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    • #3
      wow that plot sounds really stupid.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by AAAAAAAAH! View Post
        wow that plot sounds really stupid.
        yes



        To us, it is the BEAST.

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        • #5
          Yeah. I don't watch Star Wars for the science, but that premise is a lot to stomach. Hoping this is just Abrams ****ing with us.
          Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
          "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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          • #6
            Wait..."tumbling through space"? Didn't the hand and lightsaber fall out the bottom of Cloud City?
            Attached Files
            No, I did not steal that from somebody on Something Awful.

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            • #7
              Maybe it hitched a ride on a passing freighter.
              Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
              "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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              • #8
                The high midi-chlorian count in the severed hand is likely what caused it to be expelled by the gas giant and into space, and also why it didn't burn up on re-entry to the desert planet.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by AAAAAAAAH! View Post
                  wow that plot sounds really stupid.
                  Star Wars. It's not about plot.

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                  • #10
                    I am going to alternately laugh, then cry if the plot involves some half-baked commentary on terrorism, airport screening, or the NSA.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by AAAAAAAAH! View Post
                      wow that plot sounds really stupid.
                      It's a film by JJ Abrams - of course the plot is going to sound really stupid...
                      Is it me, or is MOBIUS a horrible person?

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                      • #12
                        PS I just bought the original trilogy on VHS and we just set up my g/f's music system at my place and were playing cassette tapes yesterday... [/retro]
                        Is it me, or is MOBIUS a horrible person?

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                        • #13
                          Did any of you stop to think that maybe the hand they find is his other hand?
                          "I say shoot'em all and let God sort it out in the end!

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                          • #14
                            I guess it's a good way to 'hand off' to the new trilogy...
                            Is it me, or is MOBIUS a horrible person?

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                            • #15
                              JJ Abrams at least makes entertaining movies, which will be a big step up from Lucas.
                              John Brown did nothing wrong.

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