Booze sucks

[regexcellent]

I can legally buy alcohol now and it's all ****ing terrible. All of it. Every single thing I've tried, to include red and white wine, beer (one of those fancy schmancy expensive beers mind you, not coors or budweiser), vodka, whiskey, they all taste disgusting. Hard apple cider is acceptable but apple juice and regular non-alcoholic cider both taste way better. I don't really see the point, since I'm not interested in the psychoactive effects. Basically, from what I can tell there are no alcoholic drinks which fit the following criteria:

1. I would drink it if there were no alcohol in it
2. There is no non-alcoholic alternative which tastes better

So what the hell is the point?

P.S. Beer wins the award for dumbest ****ing drink ever. It made me retch.

[Uncle Sparky]

A lot of alcohol is crap. You will find, however, is you get what you pay for. If you buy a $5 bottle of wine of a giant $1.50 can of beer, you will be drinking crap.

[Ban Kenobi]

If you don't like being drunk, don't drink alcohol and don't make dumb threads where you complain about how it doesn't taste like apple juice.

[regexcellent]

This is really a huge conundrum for me because I've been getting told for forever that people don't drink just to get drunk, that wine goes well with certain foods, that people drink beer for the taste etc. It's all ****ing lies, there are way better alternatives if you skip the alcoholic component.

[Ban Kenobi]

I happen to like beer and would rather drink non-alcholic beer than, say, apple juice. But I usually drink coffee without cream or sugar so don't listen to me.

[notyoueither]

This is really a huge conundrum for me because I've been getting told for forever that people don't drink just to get drunk, that wine goes well with certain foods, that people drink beer for the taste etc. It's all ****ing lies, there are way better alternatives if you skip the alcoholic component.

LIES! Nothing else in this world tastes like beer. Or wine or whiskey for that matter. I don't prefer either of the later for that matter, but the fact a wine may be nutty or a scotch may have some weird tree like flavour does not mean that eating nuts and chewing bark tastes the same.

[notyoueither]

How do I one star a thread?

[Ban Kenobi]

Use ctrl+f to find "rate this thread" and click on that.

[SlowwHand]

Try Jamison and ginger ale.

[notyoueither]

Use ctrl+f to find "rate this thread" and click on that.

You mean I have to read a thread to rate it?!

I need to be able to rate it without looking!

[SlowwHand]

Are you sure you're not Welsh?

[notyoueither]

I have to say, is more comely than

Can we switch those please, admin lackey? kthxbye

[snrjefe]

Given you mention cider as the closest to acceptable, perhaps a liqueur or a dessert wine like port may be more to your taste. Find yourself a BevMo or Liquor Barn (if they still exist) and hit up the mini-bottle selection. Or find a higher-class bar or restaurant and sample some of the top shelf stuff. If you want to pair wine with food, ask the waitstaff or sommelier at the fancier places. I'm not much of a drinker, but a good glass of red wine with a slab of red meat is worth it.

[SlowwHand]

No kidding? Yes, red wine with red meat. White wine with white meat. You're quite the connoisseur, aren't you?

[-Jrabbit]

Alcohol is an acquired taste, Reg. There are several sweet girlie drinks that most people find acceptable, but most have "virgin" alternatives so don't meet your second criterion. If you have no interest in its psychoactive effects, you can still party with friends by being designated driver/cat herder.

If you want to try a couple more things, yknow, just to be sure, you might want to go the fruit-heavy rum-based route. Maybe a pina colada. Strawberry daiquiris, especially frozen,are easy to take.

But if you don't like the taste of alcohol and don't want to get drunk, then, um, yeah, what's the point?