Ashes 2013/14

[Cort Haus]

That day's play was pretty much a continuation of the latter part of the summer Ashes. Broad on a roll, Anderson a bit off form, Warner looking dangerous, and the Aussie batsmen generally under-performing.

I'd stick money on Warner being Australia's top-scoring batsman for the series.

If the similarities to the summer's Ashes continue, put your money on England being 30-3.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Oh dear. Think we might be losing this one...

The bowling was nothing special either. Just complete failure with the bat.

[MikeH]

Muppets. 1-0 Aus.

[MikeH]

5th terrible first innings batting in a row away from home apparently.

[Alexander's Horse]

where can I get those odds?

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Trott needs some serious work in the nets. He looks completely helpless against the short ball.

My bet on Warner for top scorer is looking safe too.

[Alexander's Horse]

warner is just a slogger

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Effective, though.

[Alexander's Horse]

yes, although Warner represents a brutish spiral in the game that purists like myself don't like, a yob who can swing a 20lb bat with some accuracy. That's all he is and all he will ever be.

speaking of yobs Tweet of the week

Alan Tyers @alantyers
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Poor Jonathan Trott. Imagine being mentally overpowered by MITCHELL JOHNSON. Like losing at Connect Four to a pot plant

Oddly or perhaps not in these post modern times, I'm staying wth my uni student son and he doesn't have a television. He does have a large plasma for playing games and watching You-tube, but no conventional telly.

None of my sons, watch or care about cricket, which should be a source of personal pain but I can't really blame them.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Well, I suspect that's the end of Trott's test career. I can't see him coming back from this.

So, Bell up to three and somebody else coming in. And England to lose the series, probably.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

I've got a plan. What we need is for Rooty to walk in on the Aussies, kill and eat a koala, defecate it out on Warner's shoes, before wiping himself off with a baggy green and chanting "Don Bradman was secretly English". Warner will get a ban, and either Harris or Clarke will suffer some kind of injury. Root will be killed, but sometimes you've got to take one for the team.

[Alexander's Horse]

It will never work - with his accent - Don Bradman was secretly hungry? Angry? Ticklish? His actions would be seen as English cricketer behaving normally in an Australian dressing room.

When our captain threatened one of your bowlers the look on his face was - I have no idea what he just said

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

It's great when it gets feisty. I have fond memories of Mitchell Johnson squaring up to Freddie Flintoff in the 2009 Ashes, overlooking the fact that Flintoff was twice his size.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Round 2! England to play both Swann and Panesar, and Bell in at 3, please.

Bet that won't happen. Even a game down, I bet they'll be boring.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Oh, hello. They went for both Swann and Panesar. Why the hell did they go for Stokes, though?