Going to see a girl over Memorial Day weekend...

[Alexander's Horse]

children and close relatives don't count

[Sava]

don't discuss your political views

[self biased]

Tip her well. She may not remember you, but you don't want the Marines to appear cheap.

[David Floyd]

My strategy for a successful date:

1. Show up wearing flip flops, khaki shorts, and a t-shirt with multiple food stains. If she notices, blame lunch and don't apologize.
2. Show up drunk. Nothing says "I don't need this" like showing up smelling like booze. She will respect this, even if she doesn't seem to.
3. Insist that everywhere you go serve alcohol, and spend more time talking to the bartender than to her. She will see that you are a confidant social man, and that you can hold your liquor.
4. Make sure she gets drunk. This will only amplify her positive feelings towards you. Note - don't get her so drunk that she can't consent to sex. That would be considered rape, and you should have standards. Well, some standards.
5. After having sex (if you follow the above guidelines, this is automatic), don't stick around for long. If you have a vehicle, sneak out of her house while she's in the bathroom. When she calls/texts you, tell her something really important came up with work and you had to go. She will respect that you a hard working man who has his priorities in order.
6. Move on to the next woman to further refine your skills. If it is meant to be with this woman, then it will happen down the road.

[Fake Boris]

Serious advice attempt.

Go with the Zen attitude.
The key is "1". You are only ever doing one thing at once.

You're not picturing yourself in the situation you'd like to be (i.e. banging her): this can only make you nervous and clumsy. You are enjoying the moment without thinking about the next one. If she starts getting closer you, don't ask yourself what you should do next, just enjoy the moment. Breathe slowly and be a gentleman. The rest will follow.

[Fake Boris]

Serious advice attempt.

Go with the Zen attitude.
The key is "1". You are only ever doing one thing at once.

You're not picturing yourself in the situation you'd like to be (i.e. banging her): this can only make you nervous and clumsy. You are enjoying the moment without thinking about the next one. If she starts getting closer you, don't ask yourself what you should do next, just enjoy the moment. Breathe slowly and be a gentleman. The rest will follow.

[Al B. Sure!]

do these girls even exist? has a photo ever been posted?

I want a photograph

One of her texts today said the same sentence I've gotten from woman after woman: "It really baffles me that you're single".


I've actually known her since 2009. She confided that she always thought I was a player. WTF? Why is it that women assume I'm some sort of alpha player and not a forever alone virgin?

[-Jrabbit]

Because you look the part. You're tall, not ugly, and in good shape.
Most men would kill to have your physical traits.

[onodera]

Is it just be, or does anyone else want to grab her nose and say "honk-honk!"?

[Sir Og]

One of her texts today said the same sentence I've gotten from woman after woman: "It really baffles me that you're single".

.... Why is it that women assume I'm some sort of alpha player and not a forever alone virgin?

Well she will find out soon if you decide to be your usual self.

[DinoDoc]

Well she will find out soon if you decide to be your usual self.

I already warned him against that.

[dannubis]

Is it just be, or does anyone else want to grab her nose and say "honk-honk!"?

[Al B. Sure!]

It's the lighting. There's nothing weird about her nose:

[Alexander's Horse]

One of her texts today said the same sentence I've gotten from woman after woman: "It really baffles me that you're single".

send her here, we'll straighten her out.

But I want a photo of you with the girl. Which means you really are screwed if you got that one from the Sears catalogue.

[Bugs ****ing Bunny]

Cute. Possibly too cute. You might want someone rougher and easier.