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Two brothers, two stories - isn't it great having siblings?! Suggestions please

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  • Two brothers, two stories - isn't it great having siblings?! Suggestions please

    I just flew into Guam and was greeted by these messages on my hotmail:

    First from Nic (16) who, amongst other things, enjoys pressing Dom's buttons:


    Hi

    Thought I should Give you a heads up on the probable incoming bill for the internet. I am inclined to ask why it is that you have not acted upon the fact that in all the cases where you have been billed Dominic has been downloading go knows what. Also even as I write this email dominic is currently gleefully sitting there downloading despite both warning and attempts to close his computer. what ever excess you have to pay don't say that I did not tell you so. Dominic has some very concerning fears such as that he is "white" which he could not define nor explain how I am "so much more Asian than me". Dominic preceded to call me "the Anti-christ leading the lamb astray" and also slandered mum's culture and family.

    PLEASE CALL ME, I am truly concerned. Thanks Nicholas
    Then this from Dom (14), which I actually read first and got totally lost in his gibbering. Dom is now prone to emotional meltdowns, a classic below takes after his mother:

    Dearest father and mother

    I would like to tell you that anything that nick says about me is a lie that can't be pondered on. Nick's eyes only see what his mind wants him to and this leads to the fact that he the one that always wins. I can't beat him cause I am retarded my mind has no lid.

    you know he is probably right that i an retarded he cause I continuously contradict myself so does that not make me retarded. He has lead me to every time I even hear him I want to hurt myself. I have come to realise that I can no long be accepted in this family so now. I will not talk to the ****** that is nick.

    I have now come to learn that I am not accepted any where or by anyone my mind's lid is missing and I can't find it. I have had many times this term that I have really wanted to let it all out. I would say that at least 30 times this term I have had the erg in my gut to try and hurt someone. This all started seven years ago when nick finally grew a pair. I quote from myself that the bully goes for the weakest person and seeing that everyone goes for me proves that I am obviously the weakest link that must be cut so the rest of the group can move fast. In the car trips I was laughed at by everyone for trying to express myself or defend myself. Now I quote from a good man mr hogan " Sure you may see someone that you don't like walk past and you say something mean to them. What you don't know is that he could or probably is getting this all day and it builds up after a week not that bad but after a term oh well you'd be pretty sick of it wouldn't you".

    My rule are that I give to you 1. if you try to put me in counselling I will never want to talk to you. 2. You may either talk to me by face to face or by talking over the phone.

    But do not ever try break number 1

    Sincerely your son

    Dominic
    Mr Hogan is the school principal. This is their first night home after another term at boarding school.

    Gah it's fun being a Dad Dom's writing has improved, almost coherent. Shades of early Albert Speer in there
    Last edited by Alexander's Horse; April 11, 2013, 23:29.
    Any views I may express here are personal and certainly do not in any way reflect the views of my employer. Tis the rising of the moon..

    Look, I just don't anymore, okay?

  • #2
    Why are you so far away from your kids (not meant as an attack, actually curious)?
    If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
    ){ :|:& };:

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm working, they go to boarding school, their Mom is arriving today to look after them for the school holidays. we actually crossed at an airport lol. I was back for two weeks with them.
      Any views I may express here are personal and certainly do not in any way reflect the views of my employer. Tis the rising of the moon..

      Look, I just don't anymore, okay?

      Comment


      • #4
        Why boarding school? Why not public school? (Again, just curious, no judgement.)
        If there is no sound in space, how come you can hear the lasers?
        ){ :|:& };:

        Comment


        • #5
          because there no good high schools where I work, I work in remote areas
          Any views I may express here are personal and certainly do not in any way reflect the views of my employer. Tis the rising of the moon..

          Look, I just don't anymore, okay?

          Comment


          • #6
            Are either of that pair the one that you posted the huge melodramatic letter from a few months back?
            The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

            Comment


            • #7
              Draft responses follow.

              Dear Nic.

              First let's get one thing perfectly clear. If you ever address me again with the words "I am inclined to ask why it is that you have not ..." I will, myself, become inclined to boot your arse so hard that I'll be left wearing your ringpiece as a garter. Your prissy Maiden-Aunt tone calls into severe question any assumption that you have both testicles and a "Y" chromosome. Stop *****ing or I'll piss in your sock drawer.

              Love

              Dad


              Dearest Dominic.

              If you download so much as a single kilobyte more, I will force you to watch every naked photo I ever took of both myself and your mother. And learn to write without lapsing into Outright Mentaloid, if you please. I'll not have any bugger thinking I spawned an evolutionary throwback.

              Love

              Dad
              The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

              Comment


              • #8
                PS

                Dominic? You have my solemn vow that there will be no counselling.

                You do not need a counsellor. You need a ****ing vet.

                Love

                Dad

                Wish I had sons. I'd be an ace role model.
                The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

                Comment


                • #9
                  Oh yes. I should have asked if they're the sensitive types. If they are, less threats and abuse, and more hugs and kittens and ****.
                  The genesis of the "evil Finn" concept- Evil, evil Finland

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'm not sure how I feel about posting letters that my kids write here. And I'm like the worst dad ever. I even got the mug.
                    “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                    "Capitalism ho!"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      since HC doesn't want to pass judgment, i will

                      YOU ARE A HORRIBLE FATHER
                      now go cry yourself to sleep scumbag
                      To us, it is the BEAST.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        are we crafting responses? here's mine:

                        I AM YOUR FATHER
                        GO GET ME A BEER
                        NOW SIT DOWN SHUT UP AND WATCH ME **** YOUR MOTHER
                        To us, it is the BEAST.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Bugs ****ing Bunny View Post
                          Are either of that pair the one that you posted the huge melodramatic letter from a few months back?
                          That's the interesting part, Mr Cool, Nic wrote that last angst ridden missive, now he is Year 11 and seems to be through that phase, except for his one man jihad against the school's religious affairs department, which I can't talk him out of because he enjoys being the Richard Dawkins of the Jesuit school so much.

                          Now Dom, who was fine a few months ago and could barely string two words together I might add, has entered the hormonal twilight zone and suddenly become locquacious.

                          I would worry before but we've already had two pass through the priapic storm and return to earth, after a couple of years.
                          Last edited by Alexander's Horse; April 11, 2013, 23:10.
                          Any views I may express here are personal and certainly do not in any way reflect the views of my employer. Tis the rising of the moon..

                          Look, I just don't anymore, okay?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Do everyone a favour and delete the emails and do nothing about it.

                            Glad my now intensely embarassing hormonal teenage rants aren't captured for posterity.
                            Jon Miller: MikeH speaks the truth
                            Jon Miller: MikeH is a shockingly revolting dolt and a masturbatory urine-reeking sideshow freak whose word is as valuable as an aging cow paddy.
                            We've got both kinds

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by MikeH View Post
                              Do everyone a favour and delete the emails and do nothing about it.

                              Glad my now intensely embarassing hormonal teenage rants aren't captured for posterity.
                              This.
                              "Ceterum censeo Ben esse expellendum."

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