Mitt Romney Would Pay 0.82 Percent in Taxes Under Paul Ryan's Plan

[Kidlicious]

Keep ripping off lame twitter accounts, and you'll be sure to hit the mark at some point!

Spoiler alert: you can get all these jokes before this DL has a chance to tell them at @PaulRyanGosling, a distinctly unfunny novelty twitter account.

No thank you. It's funny to see them here one at a time.

[MrFun]

Mitt Romney "believes" in America so much, that he dodged the draft, banks off-shore, and outsourced American jobs.

AMERICA, **** YEAH!

[Hauldren Collider]

Draft dodger? That one is new.

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

Draft dodger? That one is new.

Only a matter of time. Working down the list:

Felon - Check
Tax Cheat - Check
Murderer - Check
Racist - Check
Cultist - Check
Mysogynist - Check

Draft Dodger - Scheduled in two weeks
Pederast - Scheduled in 4 weeks

[Hauldren Collider]

Fair enough. Oh yeah, and he's an animal abuser.

Waiting for that Mitt Romney Sandusky claim in 4 weeks...

[dannubis]

Fair enough. Oh yeah, and he's an animal abuser.

Waiting for that Mitt Romney Sandusky claim in 4 weeks...

Sad thing is, even if all of the above were correct, you'd still vote for him.

[kentonio]

Draft dodger? That one is new.

From Salon back in June.

But Romney’s shifting stories on his Vietnam status could have real political consequences, as an Associated Press expose revealing that he sought and got four deferments from military service during the Vietnam War gets more play. It’s not the deferments that will hurt – Dick Cheney got five. It’s the fact that over the years, Romney has lied about it.

AP politely says his story has “evolved,” but tracks the puzzling changes. Running for president in 2007, Romney told the Boston Globe, “I longed in many respects to actually be in Vietnam and be representing our country there, and in some ways it was frustrating not to feel like I was there as part of the troops that were fighting in Vietnam.”

But in 1994, running against Ted Kennedy for his Massachusetts Senate seat while in his “I’m not a typical Republican” phase, he admitted “it was not my desire to go off and serve in Vietnam.” Fair enough: His father, George Romney, turned against the war, and so did a lot of Republicans (even if party hawks would later try to hang the “loss” of Vietnam on the antiwar left and their Democratic enablers). Indeed, in 1970, at 23, Romney told the Globe, ”If it wasn’t a political blunder to move into Vietnam, I don’t know what is.”

But while telling the truth about his lack of “desire to go off and serve” in 1994, Romney lied again, telling the Boston Herald he didn’t “take any actions to remove myself from the pool of young men who were eligible for the draft.” That’s absolutely not true. He got his first deferment while at Stanford University, where in his prep-school prankster phase he counter-protested a Vietnam draft protest. That’s another lie, in a way: While posing as pro-draft and pro-war, he was evading the draft with an “activity in study” deferment. After his freshman year, he got deferment status as “a minister of religion or divinity student,” which he’d keep while working in France as a missionary for his Mormon church.

Yet the AP reveals that other young Mormons were denied that deferment. And since the church itself strongly supported the war, its leaders eventually limited such deferments, but Romney kept his.

After his religious deferment, he got another academic deferment to finish school. By the time he was draft eligible, troop numbers were declining, and his lottery number was never called.

http://www.salon.com/2012/06/07/romn...ged_the_draft/

[Patroklos]

From Salon back in June.



http://www.salon.com/2012/06/07/romn...ged_the_draft/

So in other words, not a draft dodger. Got it.

[kentonio]

So in other words, not a draft dodger. Got it.

No he just shouted about how great the war was, then requested on 4 occasions to be excused from the draft so he didn't actually have to fight in it. Oh and then lied about the whole thing.

[Patroklos]

But not a draft dodger. So you were either wrong or a liar, right? I will let you choose which one, no judgement.

[kentonio]

But not a draft dodger. So you were either wrong or a liar, right? I will let you choose which one, no judgement.

Please quote where I levelled that accusation at him.

[DaShi]

Promoting the draft while enjoying the benefits of deferment. No wonder HC has a crush on this guy.

[giblets]

Avoiding the draft isn't draft dodging.

[Asher]

The problem here is Americans have a specific meaning in mind to draft dodging (leaving the country).

To others the act of "dodging" something is to say they avoided it.

[DaShi]

It depends more on who they are accusing.