The Get Me A Girlfriend in 2012 Thread

[Tupac Shakur]

Albie, your problem is that you care too ****ing much. Women hate desperation and it's almost impossible to conceal from them. Get on a dating site and starting working your way through low-level women as desperate as yourself. Once you get laid a few times and realize that you've been overanalyzing **** on the internet for no good reason, you might be be ready to go after a normal girl.

[Darius871]

Also, I don't talk to girls about what I do.

In all fairness though, aren't the characteristics of the establishments in which you got the numbers indicative of your likely income, whether you flaunt it or not? Or are you a class tourist?

That, and don't attached men tend to get propositioned more than single men? It may be a stereotype but it seems to ring true in my neck of the woods.

[Al B. Sure!]

Albie, your problem is that you care too ****ing much. Women hate desperation and it's almost impossible to conceal from them. Get on a dating site and starting working your way through low-level women as desperate as yourself. Once you get laid a few times and realize that you've been overanalyzing **** on the internet for no good reason, you might be be ready to go after a normal girl.

So are we giving up on this one or what? It seems wrong that I lost my chance this quickly from a few words on facebook without me even having asked her out yet

[Egbert]

This is what I mean. You all say this **** and say I'm not listening but you never say anything I can use. I'm so behind the curve that the platitudes that you say are too advanced for me. I need a step-by-step method to talking to women.

As MikeH pointed out, you cut off the conversation. You gave her nothing to respond to.

Instead. Try asking open ended questions to get her talking. Ask a question about something she is likely to find interesting as is happy to talk about. As you are asking open ended questions she will talk more thus giving you more insight into her likes, dislikes, character, personality etc.

Example open ended question. What do you think of American football? Lets her talk at length.
Example closed question. Do you like American football? (You may get a one word answer, yes or no).
Conversation ender. I like American football.

Get the general idea? Now do some "trial and error", on everyone.

[Egbert]

Me: Yeah I'm probably going to go to my boy's house. What are you going to be doing?
Her: I have no plans yet so I'm not really sure. I probably won't know til Sunday afternoon ha

Now what?

I was thinking to just leave this alone and ask her if she'd like to meet up next week (chill somewhere after she gets out of work or something). Or should I make a comment about if she's the impulsive type?

"What are you going to be doing?" is a bad response. Why not just be direct and say "I was thinking on watching the game at ____. Would you like to go too?"

Don’t ask "What are you going to be doing?".
Reason 1: she may not wish to admit that she has nothing to do.
Reason 2. You risk implicitly suggesting that you are “hoping” she will go out with you for want of anything else to do. I get the idea, from this thread, that you are hoping she will have nothing to do and this suggests a total lack of confidence on your part. (If she is interested she will find time for you. If she is not interested in you she will never be able to find time for you).

Try the direct approach, find the confidence to look her in the eye and make an offer as DanS suggested.

[Al B. Sure!]

Don’t ask "What are you going to be doing?".
Reason 1: she may not wish to admit that she has nothing to do.
Reason 2. You risk implicitly suggesting that you are “hoping” she will go out with you for want of anything else to do. I get the idea, from this thread, that you are hoping she will have nothing to do and this suggests a total lack of confidence on your part. (If she is interested she will find time for you. If she is not interested in you she will never be able to find time for you).

Try the direct approach, find the confidence to look her in the eye and make an offer as DanS suggested.

This is all on facebook. Honestly, in person would be easier.

[Egbert]

Me: So you're the impulsive type? Tell me what you come up with anyway in case I decide the food isn't worth sitting and hearing him cry about the Packers. Wouldn't mind watching the game with you since not too many Giants fans in Philly.
267*******
I know. Not direct. But like I said before...

You are virtually telling her what she is, impulsive. To what purpose?
(Also that is a closed question inviting a yes/no answer possibly ending the conversation).

Again, you are virtually asking her if she has nothing to do. The bit about the food and the crying is definitely negative, are you suggesting that you would be willing to see her if the alternative is to endure bad food and crying? You seem to be suggesting that you may be prepared to watch a game because you can't find Giant's fans. Be easy to say "no" to an invitation like that.

[Egbert]

This is all on facebook. Honestly, in person would be easier.

I ask to clarify how you get on with the ladies. You said earlier that some girls have said you act like a "brother". Can you get those girls to join you on a "just friends" basis? Perhaps to attend a concert together or meet for a meal?

[Al B. Sure!]

I ask to clarify how you get on with the ladies. You said earlier that some girls have said you act like a "brother". Can you get those girls to join you on a "just friends" basis? Perhaps to attend a concert together or meet for a meal?

Some, yes. Others, no. Those others are eager to claim they want to be friends but want nothing to do with me in practice.

[Egbert]

Some, yes.

This clearly demonstrates that there are girls out there who will spend time with you for your company and your conversation. But something goes wrong when you desire one as a girlfriend. I reckon a lack of confidence is the source of the problem hence all the "beating around the bush" as set out in your previous posts. Take the direct approach instead.

Perhaps Tupac is right when he suggests that you may come across as desperate and may be over-analysing things. (See his post at top of this page).

[MRT144]

What the **** is this?



What the hell? Is that how you talk? My god, Jackie Gleason? I don't even know who he is but he DIED 3 freaking years after I was BORN... and you want me to make references that I don't even understand?

I appreciate the attempt at help. I do. But please frame your help to be appropriate for someone in their 20's in the year 2012 in freaking Philadelphia and appropriate for coming out of my mouth.

You're telling me to be sincere but giving me the most out of character material possible that will go over my head and hers.


Look, **** the Super Bowl. It was either I go to her thing or not at all. I'm not going to a sports bar with her just me and her and I'm not bringing her to the ghetto. At this point I'm asking do I say something about her being the impulsive type to keep the convo maybe going or do I just be direct about seeing her availability next week for us to meet up?

Do you know how to not think so literally?

[Dinner]

Yet I have already collected two girls' phone numbers tonight (promptly discarded) and could be ****ing either of them if I had wanted to.

I'm not sure how you get away with that because she'd have my balls if she found out I was running around chatting up other women and getting phone numbers even if I tossed them.

[Al B. Sure!]

I'm not sure how you get away with that because she'd have my balls if she found out I was running around chatting up other women and getting phone numbers even if I tossed them.

Yeah I know right? Not like she really needs him. She does make more money than him

[DaShi]

Albie, your problem is that you care too ****ing much. Women hate desperation and it's almost impossible to conceal from them. Get on a dating site and starting working your way through low-level women as desperate as yourself. Once you get laid a few times and realize that you've been overanalyzing **** on the internet for no good reason, you might be be ready to go after a normal girl.

Yup, dating is like a fantasy role playing game. You've got to slay a few trolls to get the experience needed to take on the nymphs.

[DaShi]

Yeah I know right? Not like she really needs him. She does make more money than him

Base!