Can A Guy Be Gay and Not Realize It?

[-Jrabbit]

FWIW, the answer to your question is "yes."

[Imran Siddiqui]

Sloww, in this day and age people are most definitely in the closet for various reasons. One can be their families aren't really enlightened yet and while "everyone knows", it's kind of been decided that it isn't outwardly discussed, which is all sorts of messed up, but families can sometimes tend to be.

[Mojotronica]

Most gay people will tell you they knew for sure from adolescence or younger, but some celebrities are on record saying they weren't aware of their sexuality until well into their 20s or even 30s. George Michael, Alan Ball, Meredith Baxter all come to mind. I think late realization is more common with women (who's sexuality tends to be more fluid (and less visual, more psychological) than men's.) The middle-age new lesbian is practically a stereotype.

It's possible that your co-worker is straight but totally acts gay, or he could be gay but closeted or in denial or oblivious.

[MOBIUS]

Poor sloww. Comes here asking for advice and gets lampooned. He's got a bum deal.

Slowwie the butt of a joke on poly, now there's a turn up for the books...

[Guynemer]

You know, as I asked the question, I realized that I would probably catch some lip; but I failed to anticipate every answer being lip.

You do know what website this is, right?

In all seriousness, yes, there is every possibility that he is deeply closeted, even to himself.

[giblets]

Sloww, in this day and age people are most definitely in the closet for various reasons. One can be their families aren't really enlightened yet and while "everyone knows", it's kind of been decided that it isn't outwardly discussed, which is all sorts of messed up, but families can sometimes tend to be.

It could be for religious reasons too. The Bible seems to not cast homosexuals in a positive light.

[Zoetstofzoetje]

you´re assuming here that some outside force determines whether someone is homo or not. that´s up to the person in question to decide.

[DaShi]

Being gay isn't a choice.

[Wezil]

Well if they can't be bothered to choose they have no right to complain.

[SlowwHand]

You do know what website this is, right?

In all seriousness, yes, there is every possibility that he is deeply closeted, even to himself.

Thanks. I think this is the case. In reading other posts, he IS from Oklahoma. Okies, well, you know...
gribbler, I can't speak for all religions, but once again, let me say, Methodists pride themselves on acceptance of all of God's creations. I don't have the frame of reference that some do.

[Dinner]

No, I'm pretty sure when you have the urge to start butt ****ing other men you know you're gay.

[Tupac Shakur]

No, I'm pretty sure when you have the urge to start butt ****ing other men you know you're gay.

Sounds like the voice of experience.

[Dinner]

Well, you were the gay bastard who told me it.

[MRT144]

There's a guy in Sales and I think he's the only one here that doesn't think he's gay. I try not to stereotype, but if I were to stereotype, he would fit the profile. In this day and age, for no real reason, are people in the closet? It doesn't really matter if he's gay or not, because the assumption of all of those around him here at work is that he is, without doubt, gay.

I knew a guy like this but hey, its his life.

[molly bloom]

You know, as I asked the question, I realized that I would probably catch some lip; but I failed to anticipate every answer being lip.

Seriously though, if someone were brought up in a non-gay friendly faith like some branches of Christianity or Islam, there'd be every reason for them not to acknowledge their sexuality.

Even without a strict religious background, plenty of people have families that would frown upon their sons or daughters coming out as gay or lesbian. Given that your country seems to suffer a fair few school shootings and homicides related to people's sexuality (or even perceived sexuality) I can understand someone not wanting to confront feelings they've tried to ignore or suppress fro some time.

I knew I was attracted to the same sex from a very early age- of course in those days the only role models were people like Danny La Rue over our side. And I knew I wasn't like them...

If only I'd known about Tab Hunter...