Which Of These Individuals Should I Hire?

[Cort Haus]

I think you should hire applicant six:

Psychotic, fictional socio-path created and maintained by a number of separate people from an off-topic forum on a computer strategy game site. Hobbies include robbing old ladies and becoming sexually confused watching penises in porn. You should hire this person because he has the highest aggregate levels of qualifications and experience.

[pepitogrillo]

It's clear. Five.

[Kuciwalker]

at the george mason dig

That's not why I was laughing...

[Provost Harrison]

I've heard of Perry Mason...who is George Mason?

[Hauldren Collider]

One of the authors of the Bill of Rights. He lived in Fairfax, Virginia.

[rah]

This is why we actually do interviews.

Despite the illegality of using most of your stereotypes in hiring decisions, I'll play.

Not the tranny. We had one and there was too much drama on which bathroom he/she would use. Ended up using the YWCA across the street.

Not the black dude. Already making excuses for all the work he's going to miss.

Not the one that graduated from law school since he couldn't make it as a lawyer, he's probably an idiot.

Ditto on the woman from UCLA.

That leaves the flamer. Over educated, but he's all that's left so hire him.

[Dinner]

Wait, Wiggy supposedly works for the government so actual work completed doesn't matter and shouldn't even be a consideration.

[Uncle Sparky]

I'd hire Applicant two: Straight man who attended Columbia Law school. He lists 'racquetball' as one of his interests and so is probably pretty fat .

Many of my friends have law degrees and don't practice law.

and just a six-hour drive south of the birthplace of AIDS.

AIDS started in Africa and had a gay CANADIAN airline steward as patient zero.