Engaged now I am - future advice? (business related)

[N35t0r]

Many congratulations on the engagement

As for the business, I can't really give you much advice, not having had much experience myself.

One thing though: If you have been putting your time in it and not paying yourself what you should, wouldn't the proper way to do this be to pay yourself whatever your salary was, and then 'loaning' the company the difference between this and your actual salary?

[Pekka]

Thank you friends, for your kind wishes and wise words. This is like the icing on the cake, we now have a place reserved for the celebration part of our wedding as well.

As for everything else, I'm still not going to totally give up. I can't. I have a good plan, it will simplify things and make the road a bit lengthy for me, but I will get a job and do what I can when I have time.

I could try to get as much money out of the company but then again I am one of the bigger owners and senior staff, and also, there's still future for this start up. It isn't looking bad overall, it's looking that I can't support myself well enough at the moment. We're going to invest to our future in terms of finally seeing how we scale, go for the bigger fish. I have mixed feelings about that: OTOH I'm getting out of the comfort zone and we don't have clear access to market for our next step. These kinds of things scream for full time passionate work with huge driving action. Well, I don't have that new job as of yet so I'll keep doing it hard until I get one. When I get one, I'll see where we're at.

But I won't throw it all away. I'm not sure if this balancing in between is going to be a good idea. It might be a bad idea. But I guess I'll get to see it myself.

And as for my health, yeah, that's my shared #1 priority. That, baby, and SO Have I told you guys that my baby is starting to walk soon? It's so exciting! Also, she is like a ball of energy, she sucks the life out of me in a way that is good, she just keeps going and going and going, I can't even keep up with her.

Also, she has great muscle tone, some babies have that, I'm not sure, I think we are feeding enough, everything she can eat basically.

[N35t0r]

My GF's sister has a 5yo and a 1.5yo and they are amazing.

Kids

[Pekka]

Nice

It is amazing how tired you can be. Let's say that the baby is going wild all day, has kept you up for the night as well, and is wild next day as well and you're about to fall apart. But then she gives you a new facial expression, a new type of a smile, or a new sounding laughter. Suddenly it's all sun and rainbows It's definitely worth it.

Now, I'm on a business trip and away from home, and I miss them like crazy. Sure, I've missed my SO before, but now it's totally different. I couldn't be away for long periods of time for no reason.

[Pekka]

... and just like that, I was able to score one of the unlikely ones to be our customer. Still not plenty enough to go around but ... let's say if it really works out as it looks it will (haven't actually received PO yet), we'll get like 6 months salary (for me) from this easily. That's close to getting over the rough time we estaimed to be 8 months. I don't know... but at least this is good news.

Oh, and our daughter made a totally new face today!!!! You know when you do something physically tough and then breathe hard? Then sometimes you might try to close your mouth, sort of cover that you're breathing very hard, and then you end up huffing and puffing and it looks ridiculous? She's doing it, even though not tired or out of breath, because we copied it from her mom once and we laughed at it, so now she does it all the time. It's really weird but funny. She only makes weird faces because we laugh at it and reinforce her to make them more... we're such good parents

[C0ckney]

hey pekka, glad to hear things are looking up, somewhat. take care and keep us updated on your adventures.

[rah]

Pekka, when you daughter gets older and starts taking her clothes off and running around the house, whatever you do, don't laugh at her.

[pchang]

Congratulations.

Most start ups fail. Pull the cord and try again. Most entrepreneurs get 3 - 4 starts before they get a modicum of success. So far, I have been in 3. The 1st got me a steady pay check and about $20,000 when it got bought out. The 2nd got me nothing. The 3rd got me a steady pay check and about $35,000 when it got bought out, but it lead to my current job where I pulled in about $400,000 last year.

[Fake Boris]

Congratulations Pekka.

What happens with the shares if you shut down the company?

[Provost Harrison]

Hey Yoda Congratulations, I think, and good luck with the future. You can always come back to it at a later point and resume what you are doing, but I suppose it is difficult as the world of IT moves along as a very fast pace when you are absent.

[Pekka]

rah, I won't be laughing. I've been sure to not make any "EWwww!" face or sounds when I change her diapers etc. I'll be probably taking my clothes off as well and running around the house naked, too.

pchang, nice! It's not a complete failure but it's not the success it is supposed to be, the pace is way too slow. Our team is too slow, we don't make enough connections, it all boils down to having a thin pipeline at the end. Not enough effort. I think I got us a new customer that we should be closing with in 3 weeks plus I'm getting a proposition of another company for cooperation and partnership, they'd give us something very cheap, practically for free, that would give added value to what we do, and also they'd use their sales channels to push some of the content we'd give them in return, and of course get a percentage for their sales. It's kind of attractive but at this moment it seems like a distraction. If we had a team running on due dilligence and insanity, we'd get it done for sure, but now I just don't know.

SO that said, I'm still looking for new jobs.

I'm probably not going to shut down the operation but remain stock owner. I'd probably keep a good percentage of the company even if I get a new job. It's been so dysfunctional for so long, that the things that have kept us alive are good product and service, and good business logic. In short, there's potential, most of the things are and have been in place for a long ass time, there's just passive owners not contributing, doing work, in order to enable us to succeed. I can't totally blame others but hey, people have to do their tasks what they promised to do. Even if poorly, it needs to get done at some point. Say you are in charge of sales, if you make 0 sales calls, you probably don't make any deals either. To me, if someone is above that, they are not the type of people I'd be interested in working with. It sucks to call, but let's get over it and just do it.

So probably I'm not shutting anything down.

BREAKING NEWS:

I just heard, like an hour ago, that my to be wife is pregnant again. Complete surprise. I'll probably make another thread about it. This is too "heyyy my business partners are passive and it sucks m'kay?"

[Asher]

Congrats! You are keeping busy...

[Pekka]

So, today I actually gave up the first time.

I admit it. I cried a bit, too. It's hard emotionally. Last week, I set a deal to be closed around $70k, and will probably set a new deal during September for $20k. These are not record breaking numbers, but... why am I breaking down? I'm breaking down because I still have not found a new job, and today was a meeting I was not invited in. No big deal, right? Well for me it is. Not for control issues, but I feel bad when I'm left out when it's obvious I should be included, then it feels personal. I know they probably didn't mean this, but regardless I'm slowly becoming apart again.

So, the good news is, the meeting was actually held. I just was never there. I sent an SMS, I asked on IM, hey, is it on yet? 30 minutes later I get response from someone else "we're here with the 4 of us, but we figured we would let you know what we talked about". WTF x an infinity.

The reason is that they were in another city physically. But is it really that difficult to do a conference call? Or Skype? I couldn't go to the other city for the meeting, but COME ON!!!! I'm also the majority owner, I single handedly own more than any of the participants and have closed the only deals this year we have. **** I'm so pissed off right now.

I felt total shock. I had to ask if... like am I some sort of a nazi or difficult person that no one wants to deal with? But no, it's just that I was not in that city, and the person who facilitated it didn't come to think of it, and that they figured this would be for the best, not take my time, take notes and give them to me.

I'm thinking of changing my field. I just don't feel comfortable anymore. I realize I need to feel good, I need to be comfortable and relaxed. I've learned some valuable lessons, not all of them negative, and I have a gut feeling I need to do something else. Not perhaps gardening, but something totally different. I don't know what it would be. Become Yoga instructor or something. Learn more Yoga first. I don't know. Life is not worth this stress and the feeling of pointing fingers at other people. If this is truly the best they've got to offer, well, it ain't enough.

[Pekka]

I short, my weakness is if I feel that people aren't giving their best, and even worse is that I sometimes have a low self esteem professionally. I often feel like I don't know enough, or do enough. I constantly obsess about being a con man, no one just knows it. No one knows that I don't know much. I feel like at best I'm only one step ahead, but constantly 10 steps behind the best ones. It's horrible to realize those steps, to know what an idiot I've been and continue to be. So... I don't go for highest money, I go for the social circle, I go for the feeling of having a company, a working place, that people enjoy to do and be in. Clearly this is failing miserably. Not for everyone, but I'm super sensitive when it comes to these things. Too sensitive. I know. But I can't deal with it, so then I'm the problem in the equation.

[Pekka]

update: just closed the bigger deal and talked to people.

I don't know if it's the surgery or the mental pressure (fear of death) ever since that moment that has set me to this course. When I step outside the situation, it seems like I demand a lot in terms of not allowing people to make small mistakes.

Big mistakes OK, small mistakes not OK. You'd think it's the other way around, but **** we know how to do and are easy, that's when I don't get it.

Well, I'd say the day ended on a positive note. Tomorrow better be better though. I need more deals. It seems that more deals I get, more angry I get at others for not closing deals. Yeah it's difficult but I'm not an expert and I still close deals. People, what the hell? I'm probably the worst talker of us, probably actually the least experienced, have tons of other distractions going on, I just simply don't get it. What is the reason for not trying? It's like dying without a fight.