Advice thread for those who are ****ing up their lives

[Dinner]

20. Learn a trade. It's obvious your degree is worthless or else you'd have a job so go to a trade school and try to find a decent blue collar job. Hey, at least they're employed and not living with their parents, right?

[Dinner]

On a slightly more upbeat note go to pharmacy school and bust your ass working as an assistant pharmacist. An ex-girlfriend of mine easily made $80k working four days per week (10 hours per day) as a pharmacist so if you can pass the tests and do the hours without getting fired for being a ******** then even you could have a nice middle class life. You'll probably still be single but at least you'll have money to pay the hookers you so desperately need.

[Al B. Sure!]

20. Learn a trade. It's obvious your degree is worthless or else you'd have a job so go to a trade school and try to find a decent blue collar job. Hey, at least they're employed and not living with their parents, right?

On a slightly more upbeat note go to pharmacy school and bust your ass working as an assistant pharmacist. An ex-girlfriend of mine easily made $80k working four days per week (10 hours per day) as a pharmacist so if you can pass the tests and do the hours without getting fired for being a ******** then even you could have a nice middle class life. You'll probably still be single but at least you'll have money to pay the hookers you so desperately need.

MrFun shouldn't have to pay for hookers.

[KrazyHorse]

Oerdin's last piece of advice may be the most practical this unnamed individual has ever received.

[Dinner]

Seriously, apprentice to become a metal worker and get involved in custom metal fabrication. There are tons of those jobs especially at any seaport with a ship building industry. You'll start doing the crap work for $12 an hour but if you manage not to **** things up to badly in a few years you'll be making $25-$35 per hour and have all the work you can handle. I hear Oregon is the place to go if you want to get into rare metals metal fabrication as there are a ton of specialty places making everything from titanium golf clubs to aircraft parts. This will also help you accomplish advice #1 by getting you out of Philly.

[Dinner]

MrFun shouldn't have to pay for hookers.

Don't be judging those poor girls! At least they're employed.

[Al B. Sure!]

Seriously, apprentice to become a metal worker and get involved in custom metal fabrication. There are tons of those jobs especially at any seaport with a ship building industry. You'll start doing the crap work for $12 an hour but if you manage not to **** things up to badly in a few years you'll be making $25-$35 per hour and have all the work you can handle. I hear Oregon is the place to go if you want to get into rare metals metal fabrication as there are a ton of specialty places making everything from titanium golf clubs to aircraft parts. This will also help you accomplish advice #1 by getting you out of Philly.

Wait this was for me? I don't live with my parents. MrFun lives with his mother. I haven't lived with my mother since I was 16.

And as for the rest, well what the hell did I go to college for, then?

It's just the economy. It's been in the news that college graduates from the past few years have been screwed with job prospects. As a finance major, I was especially screwed because the banking and financial services industry was especially hit hard. I didn't do an internship and I didn't have much in the way of connects. I worked so much that I didn't network.

Do the military for a few years, go to grad school, and finding a job will be a cinch. No need to waste my college education being a ****ing metal worker.

And yes, that's going to come off as arrogant and I'm going to get criticized by you hypocritical elitist snobs, but I'm not being a god damned tradesman, with a job that probably is in China now. Forget about it.

[Dinner]

It's not just the economy. You've been unemployed for years.

Alright, if you must be military then try the other branches because the Marines have made it clear they don't want you. Join the Navy or the Air Force and become an air traffic controller as at least that's a job you can make a good salary on after you get out. Failing that pharmacy school really does lead to a good paying job and they don't care what your undergrad degree was in. On the upside you can live in any city you want because there is always a pharmacy in every city.

[Al B. Sure!]

It's not just the economy. You've been unemployed for years.

I've been either an officer candidate or a poolee since 2008.

Had I never decided on the military, I probably would have been working this whole time.

[Dinner]

It's the middle of 2011! You haven't had a job in years. This unobtainable dream is destroying your resume.

[Al B. Sure!]

Alright, if you must be military then try the other branches because the Marines have made it clear they don't want you.

You really should learn something about how these things work before you just make things up. How have they made it clear they don't want me? If this were so, I wouldn't be in process of submitting my application right now. Just a urine test, HIV test, and a better run score away from the next selection board in September.

[Al B. Sure!]

It's the middle of 2011! You haven't had a job in years. This unobtainable dream is destroying your resume.

What the ****? I worked as a manager for Sodexo until 2010. I was just working as an Assistant Manager for Checkers this past month but I quit because I didn't like the job and I have a final interview with Wells Fargo this week. I was only unemployed from my 'discharge' on March 4, 2010 until April 27, 2011. I received pay and BAH until May, 2010. Okay, I was unemployed (but I did not file for unemployment compensation) for 14 months which is a bit but it's not 'years' and it's not that unusual considering this economy. The primary reason for this was my expectation to do an abbreviated OCS class this summer so I hadn't bothered with work with that expectation.

[MattBowron]

Maybe you can get a job on a M. Night Shayalaman film. Most of his films are based around Philadelphia. By the way, you seen any of those films being made over in Philly? Or other films set there such as 12 Monkeys or "Philadelphia"?

[Al B. Sure!]

It's not just the economy. You've been unemployed for years.

Alright, if you must be military then try the other branches because the Marines have made it clear they don't want you. Join the Navy or the Air Force and become an air traffic controller as at least that's a job you can make a good salary on after you get out. Failing that pharmacy school really does lead to a good paying job and they don't care what your undergrad degree was in. On the upside you can live in any city you want because there is always a pharmacy in every city.

Air Traffic Controller won't work. The cut-off age is 31. I'm 26.

And while I appreciate the omittance of the Army in your suggestion of other service branches, I'll have to agree with the little boy in that Family Circus cartoon I just posted.


And if I wanted to immediately go to school, I'd go to law school, not pharmacy school.

[Al B. Sure!]

Maybe you can get a job on a M. Night Shayalaman film. Most of his films are based around Philadelphia. By the way, you seen any of those films being made over in Philly? Or other films set there such as 12 Monkeys or "Philadelphia"?

"The Happening" had scenes filmed at my high school.

The Wachovia building I used to work at was also shown in "Shooter"