Taco Bell Sexy on the Jersey Shore

[giblets]

Sorry but I am a man, not an animal. Clearly you all are not men.

Who said anything about having sex with animals? Sicko.

[Jaguar]

Sure, why not? It's not like you can only have sex with one woman, ever.

Actually, Al B. has had sex with considerably fewer women than that.

[Kuciwalker]

Sorry but I am a man, not an animal. Clearly you all are not men.

Note: AS regularly thinks of animals having sex with attractive women.

[Elok]

I'm sorry, Darius, but those are all butterface at best, albeit less so than Snooki. As for their figures, I've been to college recently enough to know that those are nothing all that special for their age group. What charms they have give a strong, repellent impression of artifice. Certainly not enough to make up for those horrendous bar-hopper faces.

Also, under the circumstances you described (no strings attached of any kind whatsoever), the basic, primal male id would say yes to basically any chick who was not severely overweight, severely underweight, had a nose like a clipper ship, etc. I mean, a guy might think Budweiser is a crappy beer, but if you offer him one for free, odds are he'll shrug and say, "what the hell, free beer is free beer."

[Felch]

Who said anything about having sex with animals? Sicko.

Well, I brought it up, but only as a metaphor.

[Darius871]

What low standards? I think the point he's trying to make is that it's behavioral traits (like how they choose to dress, how they behave, etc.) that makes them unappealing, and there's nothing wrong with their bodies.

^This. What's so hard to get?

So we as men **** or want to **** everything with a slim waist and breasts?

For the love of god, YES! What's missing in your view, a penis?

**** this noise, HC summed it up well enough with what we've already known for months...

That's because you're gay

[Darius871]

I'm sorry, Darius, but those are all butterface at best, albeit less so than Snooki. As for their figures, I've been to college recently enough to know that those are nothing all that special for their age group.

Who said anything about "special"? I don't deny that about 80% of girls walking through college hallways had me humping the walls too (though I may question your sampling methods, since upwardly mobile and moderately educated twentysomethings prone to exercise don't even get you a glimpse of how truly hanked out a rough majority of women are out there, but I digress). That doesn't detract from the fact that you're severely underrating these girls. And butterface is a hell of a stretch. Sure I'm personally much more a fan of the cutesy girl-next-door type than the Carmen-Electra-esque "feline" facial structure and excess of makeup typical of clubrats, but that doesn't make the latter a butterface. The latter is just indicative of a certain personality type to you, however subconsious that may be. Just picture that same face making hours of keen observations about [whatever book-type-thingy you most like to read] behind big nerd glasses and you'd change your tune.

What charms they have give a strong, repellent impression of artifice. Certainly not enough to make up for those horrendous bar-hopper faces.

See, this is just more of that "thinking" type stuff. What did I just say?

Also, under the circumstances you described (no strings attached of any kind whatsoever), the basic, primal male id would say yes to basically any chick who was not severely overweight, severely underweight, had a nose like a clipper ship, etc. I mean, a guy might think Budweiser is a crappy beer, but if you offer him one for free, odds are he'll shrug and say, "what the hell, free beer is free beer."

Of course; that's all I'm saying. The OP and this thread seemed to be veering from these being obnoxious skanks to them being genuinely hard on the eyes regardless of whether they're obnoxious skanks. Good to see that everyone but Big Gay Al's on the same page at least.

[Hauldren Collider]

Al is a strange person, but I think I'm starting to understand him, for better or worse. He plays dumb to try to cast himself in an image that he thinks will make him look manly, somewhat intellectual and a cut above the brainless masses. By pretending not to have heard of famous bands or what lip gloss is (I do not believe that he does not know what these are), he's trying to portray himself as a thinker. Unfortunately,he's taken it to the point where he hasn't heard of things that even people who are the most detached from pop culture have surely heard of (really? lip gloss?).

He doesn't really understand what image people will think is cool. He does think that his image will not look cool, but the other thing he doesn't understand is that most of what is cool is being real and not a fake, and it takes substantial cleverness to realistically cast yourself in a way that you aren't, a cleverness that Al lacks. So he portrays himself in a way he is not, looks stupid, acts gay, and doesn't realize that if he just said what he actually believed instead of what he's convincing himself he believes then he would seem like less of a fake and sound a lot less stupid.

This is of course speculation and internet psychoanalysis, which might qualify me as a crank. But I had fun writing it

[Cort Haus]

Lip Gloss were a 70's glam rock band. Not really Al's scene (officially) so no surprise he hasn't heard of them. No shame either, of course.

[Al B. Sure!]

Al is a strange person, but I think I'm starting to understand him, for better or worse. He plays dumb to try to cast himself in an image that he thinks will make him look manly, somewhat intellectual and a cut above the brainless masses. By pretending not to have heard of famous bands or what lip gloss is (I do not believe that he does not know what these are), he's trying to portray himself as a thinker. Unfortunately,he's taken it to the point where he hasn't heard of things that even people who are the most detached from pop culture have surely heard of (really? lip gloss?).

He doesn't really understand what image people will think is cool. He does think that his image will not look cool, but the other thing he doesn't understand is that most of what is cool is being real and not a fake, and it takes substantial cleverness to realistically cast yourself in a way that you aren't, a cleverness that Al lacks. So he portrays himself in a way he is not, looks stupid, acts gay, and doesn't realize that if he just said what he actually believed instead of what he's convincing himself he believes then he would seem like less of a fake and sound a lot less stupid.

This is of course speculation and internet psychoanalysis, which might qualify me as a crank. But I had fun writing it

Okay, I know of the existence of lip gloss. I even referenced the song "My Lip Gloss is Poppin'" or whatever it's called in my post. But while I know of the existence of lip gloss, I still don't truly know what it IS. What IS it? Vaseline? What's the purpose? It's not lipstick; it's not chapstick or balm. What is it? What's the point?

[DaShi]

Al is right. When people ask what something is, they usually mean they want to know its chemical makeup. For example, I was royally pissed at one of my teachers for wasting my time when I asked what the Magna Carta was.

[Tupac Shakur]

Darius' valiant attempt to call BS on fake internet standards

[giblets]

Al is right. When people ask what something is, they usually mean they want to know its chemical makeup. For example, I was royally pissed at one of my teachers for wasting my time when I asked what the Magna Carta was.

I never get satisfying answers on what the internet is...

[Al B. Sure!]

Al is right. When people ask what something is, they usually mean they want to know its chemical makeup. For example, I was royally pissed at one of my teachers for wasting my time when I asked what the Magna Carta was.

Not just that, DaShi. What is the Aristotelian 'essence' of lip gloss?


I also said, and I quote, "I'm not even sure what lip gloss is"

[MRT144]

Not just that, DaShi. What is the Aristotelian 'essence' of lip gloss?


I also said, and I quote, "I'm not even sure what lip gloss is"

You know what lip liner is.