I really hate this time of year

[Asher]

That map is clearly Toronto.

[Tupac Shakur]

You can see where I used to work on that map without even zooming.

Alliance Francaise of Toronto?

[Asher]

Close. I worked the street infront of it.

[Tupac Shakur]

You damn Francophile.

[Asher]

Asian businessmen liked French guys.

[Barnabas]

Whoah, I was never a musician. I was a singer.

Didn't you post once a piano piece of yours?

[Boris Godunov]

Didn't you post once a piano piece of yours?

A 2-part invention in the style of Bach that I wrote for a counterpoint class, yes.

Jeez, I was just rehashing a long-standing music joke, alright? The same is done for percussionists.

[Asher]

I was going to say the same thing, Boris! What an obvious joke it was.

[Boris Godunov]

Indeed! I have my file of 101 Viola jokes around here somewhere. Sample:

Q: How do you know it's a violist that is standing outside your house?
A: Because he can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.

Hohohahahaho...

[self biased]

Q: How do you know there's a trombonist outside your door?
A: His hat says "Pizza Hut."

Q: What's the difference between a dead squirrel in the road and a dead trombonist?
A: The squirrel was probably on his way to a gig.

[Boris Godunov]

Q: How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb, the other to pull the chair out from under her.

Q: How many tenors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but he doesn't actually twist in the bulb, he just holds it and the world revolves around him.

Q: How many baritones does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb, to other to stand below him and say, "Isn't that a little high for you?"

Q: How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Nobody cares about altos.

I'll be here all week, folks.

[Elok]

Somebody needs to take MikeH's advice to heart here.

[Boris Godunov]

Q: What's the difference between first chair viola and last chair viola in a string section?
A: Typically, half a measure and a semitone.

[Asher]

Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.
A: She was known as the deep C diva.

[Boris Godunov]

Q: How do you define perfect pitch?
A: Throwing the viola into the dumpster without hitting the sides.