Your Chance to Rip into Me

[DriXnaK]

Ok, here's your chance to really take it to me. I want all the negative feedback I can possibly get. Feel free to say anything and everything you like. Posted below is what my resume is going to look like in 3-4 months. Honestly, I think it sucks. I'm hoping though that it can get me something entry level somewhere for $30K a year. I feel like that's doable. I've learned through experience that positive feedback is useless, which is why college was completely useless and why everyone I know is useless. Therefore, I feel like this is the absolute best place to have my resume torn to shreds and my pride completely stomped on and destroyed.

A little about me. First, I am the polar opposite in real life as I am on here. As you notice on my resume, my background is teaching tennis. That means I have to be able to communicate really well in person and be able to properly entertain clients on the court and make tennis enjoyable and fun. The problem is that teaching tennis looks like **** on a resume. I feel like being a garbage man means more on a resume than that does. Either way, it is what it is and I got stuck doing it for quite a few years. I have more years of working tennis than what I'm going to paste here, but I really don't want to list it on my resume. I want my tennis background to just disappear.

My only real entry on my resume in terms of work experience is what I did with the company I tried to start. It looks half way decent on a resume, and it's a good conversation piece, but I get the feeling that compared to someone with 5+ years of work experience in the position they're looking for I'm just not in the running.

Another problem I think for me is that I have a very broad range of understanding of things. Everything from IT security to marketing and business strategy to reading and writing Japanese to delivering speeches. In the end, this doesn't mean **** because all it makes me is a jack of all trades and a master of none. There is nothing in my background that says this guy is really good in this one area, which I think is what employers are looking for.

On the IT side I plan to continue to improve myself. I plan on getting the CISSP later on as well as teaching myself programming starting with Python. I've also already dabbled in debugging for the purpose of writing exploits and hacking. The latter is more of a longer term goal and hobby though. I also plan on getting more security certifications, but I really need to get a job first.

So, here is my resume. Feel free to tear everything to shreds, but try to throw something in there about how I can improve myself into someone capable of landing an entry level job somewhere. The technical skills portion is really lacking. I don't even know what to do with it.

My Name Here
My Address and Contact Information Here


EDUCATION
Western Governors University, B.S. Information Technology Security
University of, B.A. Marketing 2007 - 2009
Community College, A.A. Degree 2007

CERTIFICATIONS
Comptia: A+, Network+, Security+
CIW: Professional
Cisco: CCNA, CCNA Security
Microsoft: MCTS Configuring Windows 7
EC Council: Certified Ethical Hacker

TECHNICAL SKILLS
Penetration Testing: Linux: Backtrack 4, Nessus, Nmap, Nikto/Wikto, Cain & Abel, Metasploit
Network Administration
Computer Repair and Support

WORK EXPERIENCE
My Company Inc.
President, Co-Founder, 2007 - 2009
• Conceived the design and function of all systems related to operation.
• Created and implemented a marketing strategy.
• Communicated with distributors and recruited partners.
• Composed detailed business and marketing plan.
• Assisted customers with technical issues and all general inquiries.
• Communicated with web designers and programmers.
• Composed all copy writing on the website.

A Certain Unnamed Resort
Tennis Instructor, 2006 - 2008
• Instructed clients in tennis through one on one and group classes.
• Worked with a wide range of clients from different nationalities and socio-economic backgrounds.

[Asher]

Are you ugly? You sound ugly.

[DriXnaK]

Want me to post a picture of me?

[Asher]

Only if you're not ugly.

[DriXnaK]

I'll post it if you give me some negative feedback on my resume.

[Asher]

It sucks. You studied stupid **** and then you got mindless certifications in stupid coursewares.

[DriXnaK]

Well the certifications go with the degree. Also, the Certified Ethical hacker is on the DoD initiative. What else would you suggest?

[Asher]

Your resume tells me you're not a good thinker but you can perform menial tasks. That's what those certs speak to, combined with a lazy degree.

[DriXnaK]

You still haven't given me anything concrete here. I can say the same of a programmer like yourself. It's negative feedback, but it's totally vague and useless. Also, starting up your own business and doing everything I did in it isn't even remotely considered a menial task. I'm beginning to question if you even know what you're talking about.

[Asher]

You still haven't given me anything concrete here. I can say the same of a programmer like yourself.

No.

Why should I give detailed points when the whole of it is all wrong? It's useless.

You're going to get a job as a low-level sysadmin at an elementary school. That's what that resume will get you. Discussing the minutiae is a waste of time.

[DriXnaK]

Actually I was planning on working for the military in network defense. How can I improve my resume then?

[Asher]

Start by changing your degree to something not for ******s.

[Wiglaf]

Western Governors University is an awful name for an online university. Does it train Western Governors? I suggest doing Army OCS and breaking your leg twice.

[DriXnaK]

I was automatically disqualified from the military because of the herniated disc in my back, that's why I plan on working as a civilian. Also, it's called Western Governors because it was created by 19 governors and it's administered by them. It's the only online school that has the accreditation it does and students are actually eligible for financial aid from the government just like any state university.

As far as degrees go, what would you suggest then Asher? You keep trashing everything, which is fine, but you offer no alternatives.

[Asher]

It depends if you are ugly.

If you are attractive, your degree doesn't matter. You can target your applications at certain companies with female or gay HR staff and get your foot in the door.