What should I do? (Being Threatened)

[ZEE]

.

[Elok]

Don't try joining the US armed forces again. You might have to face things rather more intimidating than a small, irate girl, y'know?

You don't have much experience with emotionally unstable women, do you? It's not physical attack you have to worry about, despite what Fatal Attraction would lead you to believe. When a man goes utterly psycho, he'll try premeditated violence. A crazy woman normally goes the more sociable female route and uses lies to manipulate her surroundings, e.g. hooking a very large guy, breaking down in postcoital tears and babbling about how she was beaten and raped by AS.

[Timexwatch]

My prostitute ex girlfriend went to the strip club where her old friend who told me about her works and made a scene, provoking her old friend into hitting her. The bouncers and people in the club removed my ex, preventing what ever she planned from happening.

This morning i get a text message from my ex saying "keep your head up yours will come".

Now, normally, I would brush this and last night's incident as her being a crazy ***** mad that I told her family about her but I told her family in APRIL. She has waited months to do something about it so I don't know what she has planned. The situation in the strip club was dealt with before whatever she planned occurred (I have no idea but throwing out possibilities... a shooting or stabbing outside when the friend left for example. Anything could have happened).

Her friend also told me that my ex has, in the past, hired men to attack guys for various reasons. It likely will not matter, but she does have family in the Philly PD (although I don't know how they feel about her since the prostitution exposure) and is sleeping with at least one cop. Who knows if she could have me attacked, have it covered up somehow, or maybe even put me up on false charges for something.

Should I call the police? Is a text message sufficient evidence for her threatening me? I will call the cops if I see her or any suspicious activity outside my house of course but should I try to pre-empt this?

Dear Stupid,

I'm writing this open post to you as a police officer. First, you're a moron for dating a stripper. [DanS] By and large, [/DanS] no mentally healthy woman strips for a living. Second, you weren't even banging her, so you're twice as dumb as I thought you were. Third, you had no idea that most strippers have shady deals on the side with clients. Did I mention you're an idiot?

Now, in my professional opinion you are positively, absolutely ****ed unless you go out tomorrow and consult an attorney and get whatever the PA equivalent of a civil protection order is out on her whatever the cost.

Why you ask? Because she's goddamn crazy and you're retarded. She's unstable enough to go out and make scenes in public, so she's definitely unstable enough to accuse you of some kind of abuse and get your ass hauled off to jail. Since she's banging a cop and has family who are cops, it's safe to assume that if you do get arrested, you're screwed. Even if you don't, you'll be on their radar screen, and when they get to the guys on the beat where you live, you'll be under a microscope.

As for whether or not people believe your accusations or if her family knows, she probably denied them 100%. Who says, "Yeah, I'm a stripper and I **** for money?"

So, in summary, go spend some money on a lawyer or go to a legal clinic and get a restraining order ASAP. Not next week, TOMORROW. Document, document, document. Save texts and get records from your phone company. Stop texting her and block her number. Now I don't have years and years of experience like other veteran officers who post, but I can tell already that you're pretty dense and you won't listen to what I tell you. You're probably dirt poor and/or cheap, and want to be pennywise and pound foolish by not hiring a lawyer to cover your ass on the front end. That's fine, but when she takes out a domestic violence assault report on your ass, you'll be saying to yourself, "Damn, that Timexwatch guy was right! I should've pre-empted the ***** by getting a restraining order.

Also, watch your back. Don't be surprised if you get jumped. Starting paying attention to who's on your block and who's watching where you walk, get in your car, etc.

Best,

An Officer with some Common Sense and about ten beers deep

[SlowwHand]

A stripper probably makes more than you do. Whatever else, I don't know that I'd attribute it to a lack of mental health.

[Al B. Sure!]

Timex:

I've been doing some research. Pennsylvania doesn't have restraining orders, they have "Protection from Abuse Orders". I'm not sure if they're relevant because no bodily harm has been done or attempted.

[Asher]

Just move to Canada and go gay. It worked for Ben.

[Tuberski]

That text message in no way constitutes a threat, reads more like encouragement.

ACK!

[Wezil]

Since she's banging a cop and has family who are cops, it's safe to assume that if you do get arrested, you're screwed. Even if you don't, you'll be on their radar screen, and when they get to the guys on the beat where you live, you'll be under a microscope.

Because cops clearly can't spot a deranged stripper. This doesn't say much for your colleagues Timex.

[MikeH]

They'd just rather be getting free blow jobs from a crazy deranged prostitute stripper than helping some guy who looks like a terrist.

[Elok]

I don't get the utility of a restraining order in this case. While it would stop her from making a scene with AS like she did with the other person, I haven't read anything to indicate she's dumb enough to get "revenge" by direct physical assault, on a guy with military experience no less. Crazy and stupid are two different things. More likely she'd get somebody else to jump AS, and a restraining order wouldn't do anything about that.

Also, given that she's apparently screwing half the PD or something--in addition to however many clients she gets--not joining the club could be seen as a good choice in hindsight.

[Wezil]

I think the idea is to get a paper trail showing she is the problem. In the event she starts making unfounded allegations this could be helpful.

[Elok]

Ah. In that case, it makes sense. Now, if only AS could actually get one, he'd have something to do...

[Wezil]

I suspect the "Protection from Abuse" order is the same thing with a different name.

[Wezil]

Yeah it is.

What is the legal definition of domestic violence in Pennsylvania?

This section defines abuse for the purposes of getting a protection from abuse order.

Abuse is the occurrence of one or more of the following acts between family or household members.

1. Attempting to cause or causing (with or without a deadly weapon):

+ Bodily injury

+ Rape

+ Involuntary deviate sexual intercourse (oral sex, anal sex, vaginal or anal penetration with a foreign object performed under force or the threat of force, or while unconscious)*

+ Sexual assault

+ Aggravated indecent assault (vaginal or anal penetration with a finger or other body part under force or threat of force, or while unconscious)**

+ Indecent assault (touching a person’s intimate parts for the purposes of arousal without consent, under force or threat of force, or while the person is unconscious),*** or

+ Incest

2. Placing another in reasonable fear of immediate serious bodily injury ;
3. False imprisonment;
4. Physical or sexual abuse of a child; or
5. Engaging in a course of conduct or repeatedly committing acts toward another person, including following the person, under circumstances which place the person in reasonable fear of bodily injury. In other words, stalking or harassment that makes you afraid of bodily injury.****

What is a Protection from Abuse Order (PFA)?

A protection from abuse order is a paper that is signed by a judge and tells the abuser to stop the abuse or face serious legal consequences. It offers civil legal protection from domestic violence to both female and male victims.
Did you find this information helpful?
back to topWhat types of Protection from Abuse Orders are there? How long do they last?

In PA, there are a few different types of protection from abuse orders (“PFA”). The type of PFA you may initially get depends on whether the judge believes you need protection or not.

Emergency order
If you need immediate protection when the courts are closed (such as on a weekend, late night or holiday), you can call your local police department or 911. They will tell you which magisterial district judge is on-call that night, and provide you with the telephone number where you can reach her or him. If the judge thinks you are in immediate danger, s/he may grant you an emergency order.* An emergency order will only last until the next business day. An emergency order is designed to give you protection until a court opens and you have a chance to ask for an ex parte temporary PFA. If you do not go to court on the next business day to apply for an ex parte temporary PFA, your emergency order will expire.**

Ex parte temporary PFA
When you ask the court for a PFA, a judge will give you an ex parte temporary PFA if s/he finds that you or your minor children are in danger of further domestic abuse and need immediate protection. "Ex parte" means that the judge will make this decision based only on the information you provide, without the abuser being in court. This temporary order will last until your full court hearing for the final PFA where the abuser has an opportunity to testify and present evidence. A hearing is usually scheduled within 10 business days. If the abuser has a gun or weapon, be sure to tell this to the judge when applying for your ex parte temporary PFA so that the judge can order the weapon to be immediately turned over to the sheriff.***

Final PFA
After a hearing in which you both have an opportunity to tell your side of the story through your testimony, evidence, and witnesses, a judge can grant you a final protection from abuse order (PFA). A final PFA lasts up to 3 years and can be extended under certain circumstances.**** To read more about how you can extend a final PFA, see How do I extend my Protection from Abuse Order?

http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=10027&state_code=PA#content-4202

[Timexwatch]

My prostitute ex girlfriend went to the strip club where her old friend who told me about her works and made a scene, provoking her old friend into hitting her. The bouncers and people in the club removed my ex, preventing what ever she planned from happening.

This morning i get a text message from my ex saying "keep your head up yours will come".

Now, normally, I would brush this and last night's incident as her being a crazy ***** mad that I told her family about her but I told her family in APRIL. She has waited months to do something about it so I don't know what she has planned. The situation in the strip club was dealt with before whatever she planned occurred (I have no idea but throwing out possibilities... a shooting or stabbing outside when the friend left for example. Anything could have happened).

Her friend also told me that my ex has, in the past, hired men to attack guys for various reasons. It likely will not matter, but she does have family in the Philly PD (although I don't know how they feel about her since the prostitution exposure) and is sleeping with at least one cop. Who knows if she could have me attacked, have it covered up somehow, or maybe even put me up on false charges for something.

Should I call the police? Is a text message sufficient evidence for her threatening me? I will call the cops if I see her or any suspicious activity outside my house of course but should I try to pre-empt this?

Because cops clearly can't spot a deranged stripper. This doesn't say much for your colleagues Timex.

If there's anything cops love, it would be ****ing a deranged stripper Police love their vices, and having awful relationships is one of them. The first day at the academy they told us that there were three things that can get you fired: Property, Money (part-times), and women.

I think the idea is to get a paper trail showing she is the problem. In the event she starts making unfounded allegations this could be helpful.

Exactly. When it comes to domestic incidents, documentation is important. AS needs to take his terrorist-looking ass to someone quick and get one, otherwise he'll be sharing a cell with guys who look like this down at central cell block