Can't live with them, or without them

[kittenOFchaos]

The evolution of Pekka is a precautionary story.

[Ecofarm]

nightmare scenarios inside their heads

"Nightmare scenarios going on in someone's head" is called depression; worrying about the 1% chance of bad stuff, and especially obsessing about it/them, is depression.

One must recognize it conciously and not allow themselves to indulge in it. Like this: "I'm worrying about a 1% (or less) chance of something and then figuring out how I will deal with it (and perhaps imagining the cascade of despair that will precipitate from the fear, causing a tidal wave of loss) - I'm having a depression moment and I'm going to stop it". It's kinda like becomming lucid in a dream (something I like to do regularly [not for sex, you pervs]), but alot easier.

I think for a long term relationship, both people need to recognize their own depression fantasies and stop them conciously. Everyone has depression fantasies, it gets clinical when someone does it all the time and/or cannot recognize and overcome them.


Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, I just play one on the internet. I should be a doctor of interdisciplinary ecology in the next year or so, but I'm not sure that counts towards the above. It's just something that I "figured out".

Disclaimer(2): Then again, I might only have the mental capacity of a 15 year old, if we are to believe Mr. Fabulous. In which case, definately disregard.

[The Emperor Fabulous]

No, in this case, you're spot on.

[Joseph]

I've decided long time ago I'm not going to leave. It is also a question of options: I choose to be a person that does not follow some random urges. More important is to be decent and respectable, and not for anyone else but to myself.

But yeah, things are going well. I guess pregnant women can sometimes be a bit irrational, yes, and also insecure and have these nightmare scenarios inside their heads. None of which will become true, at least in my case. In a way it's understandable though.

Keep this is mind. Married 11-8-1964. Daughter 9-13-65, Son 1-08-69, and then we went from 2 to 4. Daughters, ID TWINS 10-12-71. That will keep you jumping.

[Imran Siddiqui]

The evolution of Pekka is a precautionary story.

I'm still not sure exactly what happened. Supercitizen to brain tumor, to pregnant girlfriend and family man Pekka. Hmmm...

[Pekka]

I'm still not sure exactly what happened. Supercitizen to brain tumor, to pregnant girlfriend and family man Pekka. Hmmm...

All within the last 6 months. The next 6 months includes getting the baby out of the mom, me perhaps proposing to her, getting my PhD out, and us moving to new city, and finally running my company 24/7 without other obligation.

Let's just hope it doesn't go into another tumor. That's all I want. And that the baby would be healthy.

[rah]

me perhaps proposing to her,

for the supercitizen there should be no perhaps.

[ricketyclik]

The next 6 months includes getting the baby out of the mom, me perhaps proposing to her, ... and finally running my company 24/7 without other obligation.

Is it just me, or does Pekka not realise what he's getting himself into here?

[ricketyclik]

for the supercitizen there should be no perhaps.

In modern, civilised societies, the formality of a wedding is no longer required as proof of commitment to a relationship, and both parties enjoy the same (or in the case of Australia, better) legal rights as if they had.

[rah]

It's always the man that says that.
Women think a bit different. If nothing else, it should be done for the child.

[ricketyclik]

It's always the man that says that.
Women think a bit different. If nothing else, it should be done for the child.

Why?

I never had a wedding, but have been happily co-habiting with the mother of my 3 children for 17 years. Neither she nor the children are showing any ill-effects.

[Imran Siddiqui]

for the supercitizen there should be no perhaps.

Seriously dude...

[Fake Boris]

Marriage is still a big thing in the States...

EDIT Imran: it's not anymore in a lot of places. In Quebec a majority of children is born outside of wedlock.

[rah]

Different culture so I can't judge.
I wanted my child to have my name. You'd be considered common law married up here and have most of the same legal rights.

[ricketyclik]

Different culture so I can't judge.
I wanted my child to have my name. You'd be considered common law married up here and have most of the same legal rights.

We can put pretty much whatever we like on birth certificates, married or not. My children all have my surname, although in retrospect we should have given them my wife's, as it is cooler.