Sex abuse scandal. Guess the religion?

[Kidlicious]

I am married and I totally don't agree. Equal partnership FTW.

Which means both people have to compromise sometimes.

In a compromise two people submit something. How can you say they submit equally? No offense, but probably your wife submits more than you do, because that's the way it usually is.

[Asher]

Are you married, Kid?

Last I heard you had a nasty divorce. Are you in a position to offer marriage advice?

[MikeH]

Marriage isn't one decision, it's many, many decisions over a very long period of time. You can't have every decision go one persons' way but equally suggesting every decision ends in a submission suggests every decision is a battle. I don't think that's the case. If it is, I don't think the relationship will last. You've got to balance everyone's needs.

[Kidlicious]

Are you married, Kid?

Last I heard you had a nasty divorce.

Divorced, and she was not submissive.

[Asher]

Divorced, and she was not submissive.

So don't give marriage advice...clearly it's no good.

[Kidlicious]

Marriage isn't one decision, it's many, many decisions over a very long period of time. You can't have every decision go one persons' way but equally suggesting every decision ends in a submission suggests every decision is a battle. I don't think that's the case. If it is, I don't think the relationship will last. You've got to balance everyone's needs.

If no one submits there is a battle. That's a fact.

[Kidlicious]

So don't give marriage advice...clearly it's no good.

Can't I tell people not to marry women who don't submit?

[Asher]

If no one submits there is a battle. That's a fact.

You've never heard of a compromise?

If no compromise is practical ("should we go or shouldn't we"), you defer to rationality. Would it make your partner happy? Then go.

If you put your partner's happiness over your own when at a deadlock, life's easier. Sounds like you have not learned this lesson.

[MikeH]

If no one submits there is a battle. That's a fact.

Yep. Which is why you both have to be prepared to compromise all the time. You're never going to get your own way on everything but getting your own way and making your partner miserable in the process I'd also consider a loss. Talk, compromise, balance.

[MrFun]

If no one submits there is a battle. That's a fact.

Yes, nothing speaks of true love like mistreating your wife as a servile, sub-human servant.

[MikeH]

haha, great x-post.

Asher, we are obviously perfectly suited.

[Asher]

haha, great x-post.

Asher, we are obviously perfectly suited.

It really is common sense, or it should be. Relationships 101.

[Imran Siddiqui]

If you put your partner's happiness over your own when at a deadlock, life's easier. Sounds like you have not learned this lesson.

Though, playing Devil's Advocate for a second, if you put your partner's happiness over your own at a deadlock, haven't you submitted?

[Kidlicious]

Yep. Which is why you both have to be prepared to compromise all the time. You're never going to get your own way on everything but getting your own way and making your partner miserable in the process I'd also consider a loss. Talk, compromise, balance.

You could substitute the word submit for compromise in everything you just said and it would still be true, except for balance. Paul says that it's better to treat other people better than yourself, and not to keep an account. If you are constantly trying to keep a balance of who is submitting it's not going to work, because the other person is going to keep records differently.

[Elok]

I think if you worry about who's "in charge" at all, you're sort of missing the point. Of course, I've only been married six months now...