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Making Your Friends Look Stupid

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  • #1

    Making Your Friends Look Stupid

    Probably the greatest thing in the world is making your friends look stupid, especially in public, especially when it's their fault. Case in point:

    Earlier this week, I walked into one of my regular bars and a friend of mine was there. Conversation went as such:

    Friend: "Hey, what's up man, I was thinking about you the other day."
    David: "That's creepy. Why?"
    Friend: "Well, I was ****ing this girl, and the funny thing was she was more in your age range than mine (meaning she was in her late 30s, which is the age range I'm into), and I just thought about you and started laughing."
    David: (loudly so that everyone could hear) "You think about me when you have sex? That's ****ing awesome!"

    Dead. Silence.

    Everyone in earshot, which was a considerable number of people, stopped what they were doing, and stared at us for a good 10 seconds or so. A couple of them started laughing. My friend was pissed, especially because I wouldn't drop it. Every time he tried to dig on me for the rest of the night, the retort was along the lines of "At least I don't think about dudes when I'm ****ing".

    Just thought I'd share. Anyone else got anything good?
    Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
    Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/
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  • #2
    You are an ******* (so is your friend, but that doesn't absolve you)
    “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
    - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

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    • #3
      Of course I'm an *******. Read the title of the thread, moron

      Then again, the back-and-forth/be-a-dick-to-each-other interactions is what makes bars fun. That, and the booze and the drunk girls.
      Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
      Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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      • #4
        Is this really what your life is about, DF? Ripping off Best Buy employees, having one night stands, and making stupid gay jokes?
        Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
        "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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        • #5
          I'm pretty sure this makes you look stupid in addition to your friend.

          And no, it wasn't funny. It's the kind of **** you'd expect if you asked Jr High kids to write a comedy.
          "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
          Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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          • #6
            Is this really what your life is about, DF? Ripping off Best Buy employees, having one night stands, and making stupid gay jokes?
            Yes, except for ripping off Best Buy employees. Not sure what you mean about that
            Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
            Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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            • #7
              I think he meant Walmart.
              "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
              Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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              • #8
                Your friend obviously has a crush on you.
                Monkey!!!

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                • #9
                  If that's the case, fine. I still think that's pretty funny, and in no way does it constitute stealing.
                  Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
                  Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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                  • #10
                    If I had a nickel if a dude thought of me every time he ****ed someone, I'd be as rich as Floyd thinks he is.
                    "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                    Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Hey, judge me all you want, I'm pretty happy with my life
                      Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/DaveDaDouche
                      Read my seldom updated blog where I talk to myself: http://davedadouche.blogspot.com/

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Asher View Post
                        I think he meant Walmart.
                        Oops. Yeah.
                        Click here if you're having trouble sleeping.
                        "We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones." - François de La Rochefoucauld

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by David Floyd View Post
                          Hey, judge me all you want, I'm pretty happy with my life
                          That's my point.
                          "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                          Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            I love it that whenever Floyd tries to post a thread about how cool he is, everyone always just thinks of him as an even bigger douche.

                            I bet Floyd wears Ed Hardy t-shirts.
                            “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
                            - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

                            Comment

                            • #15


                              And then you wonder why you have such a small amount of real friends you can depend on...

                              Comment

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