Conspiracy Theory Endgames

[Lorizael]

While I'm a pretty paranoid guy who's fond of the idea of conspiracy theories, the more cynical parts of my brain always manage to more or less dismiss them.

And one of the primary reasons for such dismissals is this: what's the endgame? If there's a secret cabal slowly steering the world in one particular direction, what is that direction?

And for the individual members of said cabal, how is the goal of whatever they're trying to achieve any better than, say, living a moderately rich life (which they'd probably be able to do if they weren't so busy having people murdered and falsifying documents)?

And then, if you and your cabal do manage to establish a new world order that works as you have foreseen it, what do you actually do? Sure, you can set yourself up a harem, have people tortured for your entertainment, and make proclamations on giant public televisions, but is that satisfying? Did people actually work in secret for generations, conspiring against the world, in order to live out narcissistic fantasies?

It just doesn't seem all that plausible to me.

[Elok]

It doesn't seem particularly plausible to most people. Which is why, with the exception of HalfLotus and possibly AAHZ, we laugh at the few who do.

At present I'm inclined to believe conspiracy theories are the modern incarnation of gnosticism: faced with a gigantic world full of people going about their lives without bothering one bit about ours, our brains employ as a defense mechanism the idea that there is an elaborate, hidden truth out there which only we know, thereby making our lives vastly more significant.

Or maybe it's a revolt against modern consumerism, an attempt to make the world around us more than a heap of failure and tacky plastic ****. There's no knowing, really.

[Jon Miller]

This sort of thing can be solved with aliens/religions/etc.

JM

[Elok]

Yes, but atheists can't do religion and aliens aren't everybody's cup of tea. Plus they don't allow for as much politics.

[Riesstiu IV]

All conspiracy theories involve Jews or Freemasons. So if they were true, you would know them Lori.

[Lorizael]

All conspiracy theories involve Jews or Freemasons. So if they were true, you would know them Lori.

Certainly. But just because something is true doesn't mean it's rational to believe it's true.

[HalfLotus]

Posting in a conspiracy thread.

[loinburger]

The error is in assuming that those in the conspiracy are self-interested - were this the case then 99 times out of 100 the conspiracy is a ridiculously inefficient allocation of resources (and the remaining 1 conspiracy out of 100 is a questionable investment at best). However, if those in the conspiracy are evil (e.g. in the Bond villain sense of the word) then the conspiracy makes a lot more sense. Want to torture and kill people to sate your hedonism? You can probably make do with a few thousand victims, and enough money will set you up with that (just buy a 3rd world dictatorship and ensure that you'll get a golden parachute (i.e. exile) if the peasants revolt). Want to kill a few billion people to sate your wickedness? You're probably going to need a conspiracy. Why would anybody want to kill a few billion people (or whatever)? Well, because they're evil cartoon villains, that's why.

[Winston]

Playing Devil's advocate will get you nowhere. I can see right through you all.

[Sir Og]

It doesn't seem particularly plausible to most people. Which is why, with the exception of HalfLotus and possibly AAHZ, we laugh at the few who do.

At present I'm inclined to believe conspiracy theories are the modern incarnation of gnosticism: faced with a gigantic world full of people going about their lives without bothering one bit about ours, our brains employ as a defense mechanism the idea that there is an elaborate, hidden truth out there which only we know, thereby making our lives vastly more significant.

Or maybe it's a revolt against modern consumerism, an attempt to make the world around us more than a heap of failure and tacky plastic ****. There's no knowing, really.

^ This.

[Darius871]

Posting in a conspiracy thread.

How'd we guess...

[Darius871]

While I'm a pretty paranoid guy who's fond of the idea of conspiracy theories, the more cynical parts of my brain always manage to more or less dismiss them.

And one of the primary reasons for such dismissals is this: what's the endgame? If there's a secret cabal slowly steering the world in one particular direction, what is that direction?

And for the individual members of said cabal, how is the goal of whatever they're trying to achieve any better than, say, living a moderately rich life (which they'd probably be able to do if they weren't so busy having people murdered and falsifying documents)?

And then, if you and your cabal do manage to establish a new world order that works as you have foreseen it, what do you actually do? Sure, you can set yourself up a harem, have people tortured for your entertainment, and make proclamations on giant public televisions, but is that satisfying? Did people actually work in secret for generations, conspiring against the world, in order to live out narcissistic fantasies?

It just doesn't seem all that plausible to me.

While Elok is clearly right, for argument's sake the least implausible theory I've heard is that "they" want to reduce the human population to a more sustainable level (IIRC, the Georgia Guidestones are alleged to be partial support for this) and to enhance that remaining group with eugenics along the lines of Hugo Drax, both of which "they" perceive to be in the best long-term interests of the species and planet as opposed to their own self-aggrandizement. Adopting that BAM would evade all of your arguments.

In fact, that motive sounds juuuust benign enough to make it more believable that a sufficient number of people would be in on it. Come to think of it, where do I join?

[Boris Godunov]

So what's the most retarded conspiracy out there today? 9/11 and Kenyan Obama theories, while stupid, are too obvious and at least have motivations that would warrant such effort among conspirators. I'm thinking more of the "why the hell is someone even bothering coming up with a conspiracy theory for this?" type.

[DaShi]

Climate change?

[Boris Godunov]

Climate change?

Which angle? Climate change deniers who think there's a conspiracy by scientists, or climate change being a conspiracy itself?