What superpower would you demand in compensation for being cornholed by an alien?

[loinburger]

In another thread BeBro brought up superpowers in the context of being cornholed by aliens. So this thread is here to ask the question: Some aliens (for the sake of argument we'll default to tentacle-penis aliens) want to make sweet alien love to you, and in compensation they'll grant you a superpower (immortality/invulnerability (even invulnerability with a rare compound as your weakness) are off limits). Said superpower is inherent, not based on wearing a ring or whatever have you. Or you can opt out, aliens mindwipe you so as far as you know you never met them, end of story.

So the question is, what is the minimum superpower you would accept from the aliens as compensation for making sweet sweet love to them?

[Drake Tungsten]

What does the alien look like? Do they look like hot humans with tentacle penises?

Also, why wouldn't they just rape me and then mindwipe me?

[BeBMan]

I have to think this over

[Riesstiu IV]

Sounds like a bad idea. How do we know little alien babies won't pop out of your stomach and feast on you days later?

[loinburger]

The aliens will give you a freebie superpower, "immunity to alien impregnation."

[Japher]

nm

[Wezil]

Do we get the superpower before or after the cornholing?

I choose the ability to kill aliens by touch.

[Japher]

What about the ability to grant yourself superpowers?

[Riesstiu IV]

How do you know the Aliens don't have some kind of super space AIDS or other STD?

[BeBMan]

You'd think them aliens know about using condoms if they mastered FTL drives and laser blasters.

[Drake Tungsten]

I'm guessing that if they can grant superpowers, the aliens have already granted themselves immunity from space AIDS.

[Riesstiu IV]

I'm telling you, it's one of those Twilight Zone things. You'll be granted these awesome powers and then they'll be some ironic twist of fate at the very end.

You ask for the power to start fire, the aliens turn you into a living molotov cocktail and everything you touch catches on fire, you are in constant pain, and you will never be able to touch another human again.

You ask for the power to turn dimes into quarters, you inflate the US currency to the point of economic collapse forcing millions of Americans into poverty and you are publicly executed for your crimes.

[loinburger]

You ask for X-Ray vision and are lynched by a cancer-stricken mob.

[Riesstiu IV]

Exactly.

So what you have to do is ask for the superpower but without the Twilight Zonesque ironic twist of fate at the end, without space Aids, and without Alien Impregnation. That should cover your bases.

[Fve Crathva]

You ask for a second round next week, and you get cornholed by aliens again.

SP