Working On My Memoir

[Imran Siddiqui]

Volume I or the entire 15 volume opus?

[Wiglaf]

I have no idea where you people get off on being so out of order. This memoir is going to be roughly 600 pages and is not yet available for pre-order but I will talk to the man upstairs about it. I already posted the outline. But I need some clarification, when you people say it is like I never existed. Do people get notarized whenever there is a big event in their life or something like a baby or a big breakup? What are you referring to. Because I haven't gotten anything notarized since I did something for cub scouts when I was 14. And yes this place will not be in my memoirs. I could incorporate it as a secret code, for example by mentioning how gay the album Slowhand was or how gay computer consultants are so gay all the time.

[Lorizael]

Although I am a gay Jew, I am also an editor and I believe you might find my skills to be highly valuable.

[Wiglaf]

How can you maintain objectivity? The book will be openly contemptuous of everything you stand for. Here's my editor's application, for what it's worth.

1. Fix this sentence grammatically or if there is no problem, indicate it by drawing a null set symbol or simply an X. "Though I was born and raised Catholic, this was not the reason that I decided to become a vigilante that fateful Tuesday afternoon."

2. Do you have any black friends.

3. If a black man walked into your house or apartment and told you he was going to pop a cap in your ass, would the first thought in your mind most likely be:
A) How can I escape
B) Where is his gun
C) Is he speaking ebonics or is his annunciation simply poor
D) A white man would be just as likely to be committing this crime.

4. Identify a key historical moment, person ,or document that has been forever influenced by improper grammar and explain how things would have turned out differently if you were an editor on the scene at that time/for that person/for that document.