If This Is Truely A Schism

[Imran Siddiqui]

He's posting at the Rebel site and not here. I HAVE NO BROTHER!

This is quite the proper attitude

[Elok]

When Asher first posted the Dale PMs, I said something along the lines of "this is the saddest hissy-fit I've ever seen online." Now that I think about it, I had seen something before in a very similar vein, only in an even more over-the-top and silly fashion:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/legal-threats/legal-threat-ultimate.php?page=2

WRT panda sex, I do not condone bestiality of any kind, but I feel compelled to make two points:

A. Given the general ineptitude of the panda species at mating, I imagine the average panda female would actually be pleasantly surprised to encounter a male who could successfully locate her lady parts, mount her, and ejaculate inside without falling off, getting on the wrong side, going limp, or simply seeing some yummy bamboo and losing interest.
B. On that note, pandas are NOT awesome. They're defective creatures whose sole useful adaptation is looking cute so human beings will spend millions of dollars protecting them from merciless and otherwise inevitable extinction. The damned things have a fairly generalized GI tract, like us; they could eat most anything except woody grasses, which require a special set of stomachs like a cow's. So of course the ninnies insist on eating bamboo, which has little more nutritional value to them than celery has to us. That's why they have to spend all day eating. They barely get more energy out of their food than they expend digesting it! This basic biological short-bus behavior underpins all their problems, especially their reproductive ones. Due to persistent malnutrition, they don't go into heat more than one day a year, and can't afford to carry their children through a reasonable gestation. They always have preemies, like inner-city thirteen-year-old crack whores. So to hell with the pandas. All the money we spend on them could be used to save about ten other more useful species who'd have a much better chance of surviving unassisted afterward.

[Theben]

He's posting at the Rebel site and not here. I HAVE NO BROTHER!

Jeez, yer dumb.

[Cort Haus]

You tell 'em Elok.

Firkin useless Pandas If it wasn't for Dale, they wouldn't get any.

[Theben]

If I go up in flames, I demand that Imran, Drake, Asher, Oerdin, curtsibling, and Q^3 burn also. They have posted their too.

[Elok]

Oh, and I almost forgot: if our "sect" is to have a name, we really should be 'Polytheists.

ASHER U AKBAR!

[Theben]

And Krill. He even started some threads!

[Wiglaf]

If I ever announce that I am gay, the thread will be an Apolyton exclusive. You do not have to thank me.

[Q Classic]

If I go up in flames, I demand that Imran, Drake, Asher, Oerdin, curtsibling, and Q^3 burn also. They have posted their too.

Asher and I are already on fire. Flaming, if you will, since fags are meant for lighting.

[Theben]

If I ever announce that I am gay, the thread will be an Apolyton exclusive. You do not have to thank me.

You already said you were gay.

[Cort Haus]

We know you're gay, Wiggie. You haven't haven't stop posting about it for a month now.

[Wiglaf]

I'm NOT GAY :mAD: :Q: :imangryatyou"

[Cort Haus]

Do you like fishsticks?

[Guynemer]

Oh, and I almost forgot: if our "sect" is to have a name, we really should be 'Polytheists.

Whereas they, of course, are simply the Panda****ers.

[Heresson]

B. On that note, pandas are NOT awesome. They're defective creatures whose sole useful adaptation is looking cute so human beings will spend millions of dollars protecting them from merciless and otherwise inevitable extinction. The damned things have a fairly generalized GI tract, like us; they could eat most anything except woody grasses, which require a special set of stomachs like a cow's. So of course the ninnies insist on eating bamboo, which has little more nutritional value to them than celery has to us. That's why they have to spend all day eating. They barely get more energy out of their food than they expend digesting it! This basic biological short-bus behavior underpins all their problems, especially their reproductive ones. Due to persistent malnutrition, they don't go into heat more than one day a year, and can't afford to carry their children through a reasonable gestation. They always have preemies, like inner-city thirteen-year-old crack whores. So to hell with the pandas. All the money we spend on them could be used to save about ten other more useful species who'd have a much better chance of surviving unassisted afterward.