Urgent Request For Help

[Wiglaf]

I have lost my wallet and canceled all my credit and debit cards. Until a new one arrives in 48 hours (at the earliest) I have no money of any kind. In my apartment there is nothing but rotten cheese, a toilet, a shower, a sink, sex toys, a 52 inch television, a micro wave, a sound system, an Xbox, a Playstation, some porn, my dog Washington, a bed, a cleaning lady, a couch, a frisbee, a desktop, a laptop, work clothes NOT anything by brooks brothers, and an assortment of shoes I have never grown out of.

If anyone has ideas, please let me know. My parents are not entirely dead but they are too stupid to learn how to wire money, especially not within 24 hours. I have several estranged girlfriends who would be willing to have sex with me but only if I bought them dinner or gave them my cleaning lady. I have copious amounts of pride, so begging is not an option and neither is robbing a homeless man.

I originally intended to get the money by going to a Pawn shop but the local one has been closed ever since it was exposed for what it was, naked kids were involved, it is a tragic story. There is a movie theater nearby with plenty of vending machines that probably contain loose change, but I would need at least $5 for a meal because no one counts tax in the prices.

I do not want to die like this. I need ideas or money now, the hunger is setting in.

[Grandpa Troll]

I have lost my wallet and canceled all my credit and debit cards. Until a new one arrives in 48 hours (at the earliest) I have no money of any kind. In my apartment there is nothing but rotten cheese, a toilet, a shower, a sink, sex toys, a 52 inch television, a micro wave, a sound system, an Xbox, a Playstation, some porn, my dog Washington, a bed, a cleaning lady, a couch, a frisbee, a desktop, a laptop, work clothes NOT anything by brooks brothers, and an assortment of shoes I have never grown out of.

If anyone has ideas, please let me know. My parents are not entirely dead but they are too stupid to learn how to wire money, especially not within 24 hours. I have several estranged girlfriends who would be willing to have sex with me but only if I bought them dinner or gave them my cleaning lady. I have copious amounts of pride, so begging is not an option and neither is robbing a homeless man.

I originally intended to get the money by going to a Pawn shop but the local one has been closed ever since it was exposed for what it was, naked kids were involved, it is a tragic story. There is a movie theater nearby with plenty of vending machines that probably contain loose change, but I would need at least $5 for a meal because no one counts tax in the prices.

I do not want to die like this. I need ideas or money now, the hunger is setting in.

Hang in there, drink plenty fluids

[Wiglaf]

I haven't eaten for a while. Fluids can only do so much before you lose consciosunesss. Today was my day to eat and make up for it. But I lost my money.

I just called up people at my place of work to get them to paypal me money hard. They all went home be cause no one works when I am not there. I am on business,.. What *********. I called a friend of mine from my non competitive bowling league, but he has a date tonight and I did not want to admit I am starving. This is a disaster.

[Ming]

Sell some blood...

AND PLEASE KEEP YOUR SUGGESTONS to NON sexual ideas... This is a family site

[Asher]

Pass the time: Sex toy + dog + cleaning lady + bed. If your laptop has a cam, you could film it and make money also.

Edit: Of course, Ming xposts. To clarify, this is NOT a sexual suggestion you perverts.

[Docfeelgood]

Sell some blood...

AND PLEASE KEEP YOUR SUGGESTONS to NON sexual ideas... This is a family site

The places one can get protein.

[Supr49er]

No checkbook? Savings account? Obama bailout?

[Grandpa Troll]

Sell some blood...

AND PLEASE KEEP YOUR SUGGESTONS to NON sexual ideas... This is a family site

Thanks Ming, maybe we all send ideas Wiggie, so that you dont violate site decorum


Do you have a pawn shop..those will get you some quick cash...minimal fee to recoup your items..a thought my friend

[Grandpa Troll]

no checkbook? Savings account? Obama bailout?

best.idea.yet.

[monolith94]

The single cheapest way to fill up is to by a box of dry pasta. Good luck!

[Wiglaf]

I have checks, but I put my checkbook in my safety despoit box in my bank, which is nowhere near where I am now. I have savings account but cannot access it remotely, unless I am missing something. I also recently heavily invested in Activision because starcraft 2 is going to be huge. My winnings will be substantial. To clarify, the cleaning lady is not here; she is also Mexican and at high risk for swine flu. I am currently about 20 mi from main apartment. There is limited amount of gas in the car. Can I sell blood if I am so sexually active? I have at least 35 partners per 50 dinner outings, a risk factor to be sure..I can make it back to apartment I assume, but I do not drive often so I do not know my limits.

[Asher]

You have multiple apartments? Rent one out for an adult video shoot (THIS IS NOT SEXUAL).

[Grandpa Troll]

I have checks, but I put my checkbook in my safety despoit box in my bank, which is nowhere near where I am now. I have savings account but cannot access it remotely, unless I am missing something. I also recently heavily invested in Activision because starcraft 2 is going to be huge. My winnings will be substantial. To clarify, the cleaning lady is not here; she is also Mexican and at high risk for swine flu. I am currently about 20 mi from main apartment. There is limited amount of gas in the car. I can make it back to apartment I assume, but I do not drive often so I do not know my limits.

Your in Washington DC?

DuPont Circle used to be a place a fella could earn a few bucks back in the mid 1980's

[duke o' york]

Are you sure this isn't the start of the next Leisure Suit Larry adventure?

[Wiglaf]

Yes I have multiple apartments. One is a hotel or timeshare or whatever technically but whatever the ****. DuPont is kind of far, but within range (I'm not in D.c. right now technically). But I refuse to believe a man needs to stoop to anything gay or sexual to make money when he already has money. This is the 20th century and we are all Americans. We can put a woman on the moon. This is ****ing insane.