Do you want kids?

[Arrian]

I largely agree with Ali, but personally am more amenable to the "put their own wellbeing on the same level, if not better than, your own" part.

A major part of our indecision is that we have a very high standard for "good parent." If we don't think we can meet that standard, it's a no-go. There are enough bad parents in this world.

-Arrian

[Lorizael]

A major part of our indecision is that we have a very high standard for "good parent." If we don't think we can meet that standard, it's a no-go. There are enough bad parents in this world.

[Alinestra Covelia]

To clarify, I voted "no" but I will admit I was sorely tempted by the big juicy bananas option.

...

I also deny that I am self biased's DL.

[Q Classic]

A major part of our indecision is that we have a very high standard for "good parent." If we don't think we can meet that standard, it's a no-go. There are enough bad parents in this world.

Indeed.

[Alinestra Covelia]

Of course you realize this just means that the people with high standards for parenthood then turn out much less likely to have kids.

Darwin is against them.

[Arrian]

Of course you realize this just means that the people with high standards for parenthood then turn out much less likely to have kids.

Darwin is against them.

Believe me, I've thought it through. I've been there. But if I'm going to worry about the greater good, then I pretty much have to adopt. I've had the experience of adopting 2 dogs. Since adopting a child is an order of magnitude more difficult, um, pass.

-Arrian

[Caligastia]

A major part of our indecision is that we have a very high standard for "good parent." If we don't think we can meet that standard, it's a no-go. There are enough bad parents in this world.

-Arrian

The fact that you have this level of concern answers your question IMO.

[Arrian]

I've had that thought too, Cali.

Our feelings aren't set in stone... they've been moving. Moving in the direction of having a kid.

To clarify, we have very little doubt that we CAN be good parents. We just want to be as sure as we can be ahead of time (=! totally sure) that we WILL be good parents. You know?

We very well may have over-thought this, but that's us.

-Arrian

[Caligastia]

Parenting isn't the proverbial "rocket science", so don't agonize too much over your ability to be a good parent. You'll learn as you go along for the most part.

[Kidlicious]

I've had that thought too, Cali.

-Arrian

My son is a very good boy. He gets straight A's and is very respectfull. People ask me how I raised him that way. I really didn't raise him any particular way. IMO, I'm not a special parent. All I can say is that I love him, and I treat him accordingly.

So you don't really have to be a good parent to raise good kids although you shouldn't be a selfish jerk.

[Arrian]

I DanSed you. It's not so much the "how to" part that is the issue. We're fine with picking that up as we go. We'll do fine... if we really WANT to. And we're in this place right now we feel some emotional pull to do it (more than we did, say, a year ago), but it hasn't hit the level of wanting to so clearly that we're sure. If our feelings keep moving in the same direction, we will go for it. If they don't, and we're still sorta not sure, then that's a no.

-Arrian

[Jon Miller]

Of course you realize this just means that the people with high standards for parenthood then turn out much less likely to have kids.

Darwin is against them.

See, you are a lot more reasonable than those looking for an excuse.

JM

[snoopy369]

My son is a very good boy. He gets straight A's and is very respectfull. People ask me how I raised him that way. I really didn't raise him any particular way. IMO, I'm not a special parent. All I can say is that I love him, and I treat him accordingly.

So you don't really have to be a good parent to raise good kids although you shouldn't be a selfish jerk.

I think I generally agree, although there are certain things you must be competent at. In general, though, you just have to be a good example and a nice person... and realize that your kid will grow up to be his/her own person, and not be too pushy about what person, precisely that is. Pick the important things (like, honesty, integrity, generosity) and don't worry about what music they play or who they hang out with, with few exceptions.

That's how I intend to be, anyhow... I'll get back to you in a few decades with the results

[Kidlicious]

I think I generally agree, although there are certain things you must be competent at. In general, though, you just have to be a good example and a nice person... and realize that your kid will grow up to be his/her own person, and not be too pushy about what person, precisely that is. Pick the important things (like, honesty, integrity, generosity) and don't worry about what music they play or who they hang out with, with few exceptions.

That's how I intend to be, anyhow... I'll get back to you in a few decades with the results

Mostly you can't drink, run around and party very much, which is where most people **** up.

[rah]

Yes, I have been blessed with a good daughter. I don't think we did anything that special except treat her with respect and let her know how much we loved her and supported her. She generally makes good decisions so it's hard to give her a hard time when the rare occasion that she didn't. Now that she's 21, there's little we can do. And actually that's been the case for at least the last 3 or 4 years.

I read about all those kids that hate their parents and don't even talk to them. I think that's sad and I pray that it never happens to us. (actually it just takes effort and not prayers)