Do you want kids?

[chequita guevara]

I know plenty of women who don't want kids.

[Jon Miller]

Same.

JM

[ricketyclik]

3 beautiful girls. That's enough. I feel a little guilty selfishly going beyond 2 and increasing the human population, when clearly we ought to try heading in the other direction.

[ricketyclik]

...I don't know what it was that gave me that "bright light in the back of my mind to guide me". I also don't know how to implant some such into my kids. This is a further obstacle to me having any kids.

That's the biggest reservation I have with parenthood. I've put a lot of thought into it over several decades, and the best I can come up with is:

Earn your children's respect, so that they will (hopefully) listen to your advice and emulate your values.

...Being childless is the default condition: We haven't done anything!

In fact, actually having children is an affirmative step. People who conceive and then raise the kids are the ones who have decided to upset the status quo. You can argue it's through pride and arrogance, or you can argue it's through civic duty and kindness and generosity.

But how you treat the childless as the outliers beats me. We've been childless from the beginning, guys. You're the ones who've gone out and done something weird and unusual and then turned around and said "look at you weirdos".

Believe me, it's as easy as falling off a log! And as for active "deciding" to take the course of being a parent, I believe the stats show this to be in either the minority case, or barely a majority.

[Cort Haus]

No. Just no.

[Cort Haus]

Yet here it seems like at least one third of the posters don't wish to procreate. This is very odd.

Not so odd on a site dedicated to time-sucking strategy games, when you think about it.

[Traianvs]

Don't want kids. There's absolutely no reason or motivation for me to want them. Then again I'm not interested in the trivialities most people pursue routinely, i.e. a great career, lots of money, a large family etc.

[Dis]

Dis, a lot of what you said echoes my own sentiments. I look back at my life and the surroundings I went through, and I frankly wonder how I'm not forgotten somewhere in a hopeless dead-end rut. There were so many potential slip-ups I could have made - so many points at which I could have gone straight off the tracks and over the precipice. Yet somehow something guided me through and I'm doing okay today.

I don't know what it was that gave me that "bright light in the back of my mind to guide me". I also don't know how to implant some such into my kids. This is a further obstacle to me having any kids.


Also, it does annoy me when people treat not having kids as being somehow weird or faintly perverse or "selfish".

Being childless is the default condition: We haven't done anything!

In fact, actually having children is an affirmative step. People who conceive and then raise the kids are the ones who have decided to upset the status quo. You can argue it's through pride and arrogance, or you can argue it's through civic duty and kindness and generosity.

But how you treat the childless as the outliers beats me. We've been childless from the beginning, guys. You're the ones who've gone out and done something weird and unusual and then turned around and said "look at you weirdos".

so you never have sex then?

[b etor]

I want to have three kids, maybe four. But not right now. In like ten years.
When I was younger I wanted to adopt 10 kids, but I've decided against that. If for some reason I couldn't have children, then I'll adopt. I kids.

[Cort Haus]

My argument has been that people who aren't having children are for the most part selfish.

There are very few times when the mild-mannered and likeable JM annoys me, but this is one of them. He did it before with his views on why he considers workers with kids to be better employees, to the extent of being willing to exercise discrimination in favour of them. Perhaps his view is formed from a religious perspective, perhaps not - perhaps that is not relevant.

Personally, I'm not very good at organising my personal life, and never have been from early childhood. Put simply, I can hardly look after myself, let alone a family. In addition, I don't have the naturally nurturing attitude towards kids that many people do. I'm just not one of the universe's natural parents. This doesn't make me a selfish person, and I'm not selfish to those that I care about, and I'm certainly not selfish in my professional life - often putting the team and my team-mates (as I see my colleagues) before myself. I've often taken up the slack at work, at a personal cost, so that colleagues who are parents can do what they need to do as parents.

Many parents get great joy from kids. This is fantastic, and good luck to them. Some people want whole bundles of kids, who they expect their fellow tax-payers to support in education, health and welfare if necessary and depending on the arrangements of their social system. Nobody need be accusing anyone else of selfishness, even if certain, narrow aspects of the respective scenarios and circumstances can be interpreted that way.

I would finally add that, for the developed world, there has perhaps never been a harder time for embarking on parenthood. The demands and expectations are higher than ever, and the economic circumstances are perhaps the unstable in living memory. Good parents will assess financial realities when making decisions about embarking on family life, and they should be free to do so without being beaten by wielders of moral sticks.

[Dr Strangelove]

OK I do have one thing to say.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2233878.ece

This is why you guys must procreate! We must fight against this kinda stupidity! yes the world will become overpopulated. But it will regardless of your piddly little actions. You guys think not having a baby will save the world? . Having a smart baby is more likely to save the world than having it taken over by stupid people.

with regards to the link, is this true? I know you can't trust British tabloids. She's a bit old for him, he doesn't look like he's hit puberty. Why is this girl not charged with a crime? She had to have taken advantage of him- she's like twice his size!. But all I can really say is. Niiiice. Tagged some of that slutty English flesh.

This wouldn't be news where I'm living. Welcome to the club UK! Once your 12 and 13 year olds find out they can reproduce there'll be no stopping them. Expect to see more stories like this in the near future.

[Alinestra Covelia]

so you never have sex then?

Nope.

[MOBIUS]

My argument has been that people who aren't having children are for the most part selfish. JM

No. The opposite is true.

Now, if you were truly unselfish, you'd adopt.

[Supr49er]

We have two kids - don't need any more.

We have two grandkids - need many more.

[VetLegion]

This wouldn't be news where I'm living. Welcome to the club UK! Once your 12 and 13 year olds find out they can reproduce there'll be no stopping them. Expect to see more stories like this in the near future.

Don't you live in the US? I thought UK was far "ahead" in the whole unfortunate teenage pregnancy issue.