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This is why you don't hire non-tech tech Project Managers

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  • #1

    This is why you don't hire non-tech tech Project Managers

    So a project manager at work approached me (since I've got free time, no allocated project til I go on vacation on friday). He needed me to implement something which "should be pretty easy": A Microsoft Word (DOC and DOCX formats) to PDF and HTML converter that would be run nightly on 10,000 documents for a large US State's government webpage. Basically it puts all public documents on the web in those two formats.

    Okay, no problem! I told him it'd cost a few thousand bucks to get the software to do it, and then he told me there's no budget for it. Uh, okay.

    So then I suggested some open source applications that could do it. Then I got told it's the state's government policy not to use open source. Uh, okay.

    So I told him we could have to install MS Word on their servers and hack up a nightly batch conversion process using interop and MS Office automation, which doesn't support PDF natively but we could probably hack it using freeware PDF writers. And apparently, no to this as well -- Office should not be installed on their servers, this is against their rules.

    So what did he want from me? In three days, he wanted me to write code to write and decipher both .DOC and .DOCX formats (VERY nasty and complicated). Then I'd write my own PDF writing engine (which is a closed, proprietary format!) to write what I'd read from DOC. Then also, generate HTML code for this.

    This is easily tens of thousands of hours of work, in 24 billable hours of time.

    What the ****.

    Holy ****, I hate MBAs.

    That is all.
    "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
    Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "
    Tags: None
  • #2
    lol\

    JM
    Jon Miller-
    I AM.CANADIAN
    GENERATION 35: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

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    • #3
      Not to mention his gross incompetence in waiting til 3 days before the UAT deadline to implement this MASSIVE component of the project.

      Oi. He's going to be fired I think.
      "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
      Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

      Comment

      • #4
        This is why you just implement things using open source and don't tell them what you used, and they smile and nod and have no clue what you're doing
        <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
        I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

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        • #5
          His cheapest option is the first you gave him.

          JM
          Jon Miller-
          I AM.CANADIAN
          GENERATION 35: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

          Comment

          • #6
            I am SO glad to be working outside of corporate world.

            Since his dept almost certainly get billed for the internal resources they use (meaning you), I'd quote him an honest estimate of the hours required and volunteer to send it to his boss for approval.

            Then I'd tell him I could prep a ColumnA/ColumnB proposal for his state gov client to consider:
            A - spend a few grand and be done with it
            B - go open source but have that software live outside the state's core environment (don't know if that's reasonable, just a random thought)

            If he continues to decline all reasonable options, just politely decline to do the impossible and wish him happy holidays.

            MBAs are devilspawn.
            Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
            RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

            Comment

            • #7
              Originally posted by -Jrabbit
              I am SO glad to be working outside of corporate world.

              Since his dept almost certainly get billed for the internal resources they use (meaning you), I'd quote him an honest estimate of the hours required and volunteer to send it to his boss for approval.

              Then I'd tell him I could prep a ColumnA/ColumnB proposal for his state gov client to consider:
              A - spend a few grand and be done with it
              B - go open source but have that software live outside their core environment

              If he continues to decline all reasonable options, just politely decline to do the impossible and wish him happy holidays.

              MBAs are devilspawn.
              I work at a small enough company that we're all really casual, I dragged him around the office and had the senior tech guys all tell him the same thing I told him before he believed me.

              So now he's on the phone with the government to try to pay a simple $800 for a product that does exactly what we want (Aspose.Words). That's like 3 billable hours, so I'm not sure WTF the big deal is. I spent 2 hours arguing with him that all we need to do is get that.

              He just wanted to minimize his work because now there's licensing costs involved, which complicates deployment. But **** dude, use your head and listen to me.
              "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
              Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

              Comment

              • #8
                Originally posted by Asher
                Not to mention his gross incompetence in waiting til 3 days before the UAT deadline to implement this MASSIVE component of the project.

                Oi. He's going to be fired I think.
                There's an old saying that I gleaned from an old-school purchasing manager's office wall, where it was framed in needlepoint:

                Poor Planning on Your Part
                Does Not Make an Emergency on My Part
                Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
                RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

                Comment

                • #9
                  Originally posted by -Jrabbit

                  There's an old saying that I gleaned from an old-school purchasing manager's office wall, where it was framed in needlepoint:

                  Poor Planning on Your Part
                  Does Not Make an Emergency on My Part
                  "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                  Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    It's that FedEx commercial where the MBA is on first day of job; "Oh, you have an MBA... I better show you how this is done."

                    Get an MBA Asher and show them how it's done.
                    Monkey!!!

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                    • #11
                      I don't think I could deal with people like that as my classmates.
                      "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                      Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Look, he just wants it to work.

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                        • #13
                          Does he look like this?

                          And indeed there will be time To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?". t s eliot

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                          • #14
                            "Project management" is where incompetent MBAs go to die, and where upwardly mobile management wannabes go to establish some credibility.

                            BTW, this guy definitely flunked Project Mgt 101. Knowing the requirements, costs, and timeline for all reasonable options of the component elements of a project is a bare minimum accountability.

                            In other words, he doesn't have to be technical, but he DOES have to know the time/cost options and fit them into his timeline. Which mean he should have spoken to you, or someone of your ilk, at the onset of the project.

                            Project management competence: FAIL.
                            Apolyton's Grim Reaper 2008, 2010 & 2011
                            RIP lest we forget... SG (2) and LaFayette -- Civ2 Succession Games Brothers-in-Arms

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Supr49er
                              Does he look like this?

                              No, he's an asian guy in his 30s.
                              "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                              Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                              Comment

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