Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Straight man auctions gay virginity

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Straight man auctions gay virginity

    Who says the economic bust will be bad for everyone?

    Laid-off Wall Streeter puts gay virginity on auction block

    Laid-off Wall Streeter puts 'gay virginity' on auction block

    by Nick Cargo

    An anonymous benefactor came to the aid of a 27-year-old straight man, after, having lost his job on Wall Street, he took to the Internet to auction off a half hour of his time to sacrifice his "gay virginity."

    At the time of original posting, the anonymous New Yorker had $32,000 in credit card debt after being laid off from his position as a Business Analyst at a large investment bank.

    "In the last 3 years during my employment I have lived like an absolute idiot, spending money that I didn't have in order to impress the front office brokers that I worked with and who held the keys to big bonuses," he said. "Unfortunately, I won't see a 2008 bonus (neither will they at this point!!) When I read about Natalie Dylan's virgin auction, I thought to myself, why not me too! I can't say I'm aching to give my 'gay virginity' away, but the idea doesn't completely disgust me like it does for most guys that I know."

    At 5'11" and 155 pounds, the man described himself as a "very good looking guy," with a "bigger-than-average number of very good looking girlfriends over the years. The two celebrities that people most frequently say I look like are 'Adam Brody' from the show 'The OC' and a guy who started [sic] in a movie I've never seen called 'Spanking the Monkey.'"

    "I am not homophobic but I myself am not gay," he said. "Put simply, I have never kissed another man or touched another man's penis, period. If necessary as was suggested by the other recent virgin auction, I am willing to take a polygraph test to prove the fact that I am not gay and have never had gay sex of any kind.
    First, doesn't "Nick Cargo" sound like a porn name?

    Second, I'd have to wonder if a "half hour" of his time would really be worth the money paid. I mean, if he's a gay sex virgin, I wouldn't expect him to be particularly talented. For the cost, I'm sure a wealthy patron could hire an experienced escort who would give him more, uh, bang for the buck.

    In all serious, though, there is a happy ending for the poor guy:

    The man originally announced his plan on his website, gayvirginityauction.com, but the auction has been cancelled due to a "very amazing person" who "has taken pity on me and offered me a real job in my chosen line of work." The man, along with his new employer, will remain anonymous.
    Hope those one-on-one meetings with his new boss go well.
    Tutto nel mondo è burla

  • #2
    They're no longer anonymous:

    "I predict your ignore will rival Ben's" - Ecofarm
    ^ The Poly equivalent of:
    "I hope you can see this 'cause I'm [flipping you off] as hard as I can" - Ignignokt the Mooninite

    Comment


    • #3
      PICTURE PLEASE.
      "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
      Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

      Comment


      • #4
        Link doesn't work.
        “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
        - John 13:34-35 (NRSV)

        Comment


        • #5
          It does if you fix it.

          Though it's cute you want to find pictures, too.
          "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
          Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

          Comment


          • #6
            Apparently, he was only offering handjobs and blowjobs.
            B♭3

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Asher
              PICTURE PLEASE.
              He was anonymous, so none to be had.

              But if you go to the site, there are ads with some good pics.
              Tutto nel mondo è burla

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Mrs Snuggles
                Apparently, he was only offering handjobs and blowjobs.
                What? That's not gay virginity.
                "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mrs Snuggles
                  Apparently, he was only offering handjobs and blowjobs.
                  Yeah, and?

                  A large percentage of gay men aren't into the other option.
                  Tutto nel mondo è burla

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Boris Godunov


                    Yeah, and?

                    A large percentage of gay men aren't into the other option.
                    For $32,000, he'd better be.
                    "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                    Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      If he says "no homo" afterwards then that cancels out the gay.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Asher

                        For $32,000, he'd better be.
                        I don't think that was his asking price, just how much he was in debt total. His website has been taken down, so there's no way to tell how high the bidding had gone.
                        Tutto nel mondo è burla

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Boris Godunov


                          Yeah, and?

                          A large percentage of gay men aren't into the other option.
                          I know. I was just pointing out that those were among this guy's stipulations.
                          B♭3

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Riesstiu IV
                            If he says "no homo" afterwards then that cancels out the gay.
                            Actually, he has to say it three times while spinning counterclockwise, patting himself on the head and waving a wand with a dead bird attached to it. Says so right here in the manual.
                            Tutto nel mondo è burla

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              He should've just gone to brokestraightboys, they'd give him $1000 or so.
                              "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                              Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X