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  • #1

    Apple to fool public for 207th time.


    APPLE TO FOOL PUBLIC FOR 207th TIME

    APPLE boss Steve Jobs last night unveiled the new iPhone, insisting there was 'no way' he would launch a better and cheaper version in three months time.

    Jobs said the latest 3G iPhone could never be improved on, and definitely not this year, just before Christmas.

    He added: "This is the final version. It’s got everything on it, including a little apple symbol, so there's no way a better one will be in the shops by Thanksgiving at the latest for $100 less.

    "Listen: the chances of an October launch of a 4G iPhone with double the storage, a better camera, and a keyboard you can actually use, at half the cost of this one are nil. Seriously.

    "So if you want one, go out and buy one tomorrow, because we’ve only got a hundred, and when these run out, we’re not making any more."

    Wayne Hayes, editor of Core! magazine, said he had ordered his phone already as there was no chance Jobs was holding back information on upgrades or price cuts.

    He said: "He has really pushed the iPhone as far it can go this time, just like last time, there is no way he could make it any cheaper or better, and definitely not this year, just before Christmas.

    "If he did that, then everyone who rushed out and bought this one would be made to look like a complete dick in a matter of weeks. That is not the Apple way."

    However Julian Cook, technology analyst at Donnelly-McPartlin, stressed Jobs was already using a 34G iPhone which he did not plan to put on public sale until 2024.

    "By that time he’ll be using a phone that won’t be in the shops until 2038. But you’ll keep handing your money over every time because it’s got a fruit on the back. Dicks."

    Not Found
    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-%26-technology/apple-to-fool-public-for-207th-time-200806091008/


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  • #2
    Onion ripoffs
    <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
    I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

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    • #3
      The poor man's Onion.
      I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

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      • #4
        Yeah, because the Onion invented satire.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Cort Haus
          Yeah, because the Onion invented satire.
          Indeed
          <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
          I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

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          • #6
            Did you know that Apple shafts their workers in salary compared to Yahoo, Google, and Microsoft?
            "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
            Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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            • #7
              Like the good capitalists they are

              (Actually, i'd love to see that data, particularly how they are comparing wages - in like jobs, or just globally.)
              <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
              I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

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              • #8


                At Glassdoor, Find Out How Much People Really Make At Google, Microsoft, Yahoo, And Everywhere Else. | TechCrunch
                http://www.techcrunch.com/2008/06/10/at-glassdoor-find-out-how-much-people-really-make-at-google-microsoft-yahoo-and-everywhere-else/
                The idea behind Glassdoor is simple: You tell me your salary, and I'll tell you mine. The stealth startup, which raised $3 million from Benchmark Capital
                "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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                • #9
                  That begs the question, of course, of why they (can) pay them less.

                  * People want to work there
                  * Less experienced programmers
                  * Perks not included in salary
                  * Better location
                  etc.

                  Something has to give, after all... maybe they all get free iPhones and macbook pros
                  <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
                  I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by snoopy369
                    That begs the question, of course, of why they (can) pay them less.

                    * People want to work there
                    * Less experienced programmers
                    * Perks not included in salary
                    * Better location
                    etc.

                    Something has to give, after all... maybe they all get free iPhones and macbook pros
                    I presume it's a mix of RDF and them not knowing any better.

                    Keep in mind the cost of living in Cupertino is far more expensive than Redmond also, so in real terms the MS workers are making a lot more...
                    "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                    Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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                    • #11
                      And glassdoor.com is awesome.
                      "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                      Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Mr Snuggles


                        I presume it's a mix of RDF and them not knowing any better.

                        Keep in mind the cost of living in Cupertino is far more expensive than Redmond also, so in real terms the MS workers are making a lot more...
                        RDF = ?

                        I'd assume most software engineers are capable of figuring out where money is beign made (it's not like this is the first site of its kind, just the first (possibly good) free one ... Vault, although a pay site, has done this for years).

                        I'd also wonder who is entering these numbers - presumably people leaving the company more commonly than not; perhaps MS is firing more experienced programmers than Apple is
                        <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
                        I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by snoopy369


                          RDF = ?

                          I'd assume most software engineers are capable of figuring out where money is beign made (it's not like this is the first site of its kind, just the first (possibly good) free one ... Vault, although a pay site, has done this for years).

                          I'd also wonder who is entering these numbers - presumably people leaving the company more commonly than not; perhaps MS is firing more experienced programmers than Apple is
                          Of both companies, Apple is the one that laid people off recently, not MS.

                          RDF = Reality Distortion Field.
                          "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                          Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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                          • #14
                            Laid off people (en masse) != laid off individual people.

                            There's also a significant difference in terminology across companies, of course; perhaps Apple has "Software Engineer" (0-2 yrs exp), "Senior Software Engineer" (3-5 yrs exp), "Supervising Software Engineer" (6-10 years exp), "Old Fogey" (11+ years), "Genius" (Steve Jobs), compared to MS "Junior Software Engineer" (0-2 years exp), "Software Engineer" (3-5 years) ... etc.

                            I refuse to assume that significant distortions in salary are due to stupidity, in this field in particular. (Also, Redmond may may more per CoL, but who the **** wants to live in Seattle? )
                            <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
                            I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by snoopy369
                              Laid off people (en masse) != laid off individual people.

                              There's also a significant difference in terminology across companies, of course; perhaps Apple has "Software Engineer" (0-2 yrs exp), "Senior Software Engineer" (3-5 yrs exp), "Supervising Software Engineer" (6-10 years exp), "Old Fogey" (11+ years), "Genius" (Steve Jobs), compared to MS "Junior Software Engineer" (0-2 years exp), "Software Engineer" (3-5 years) ... etc.
                              That is the average of all of the variations of "software engineer". Go access the site yourself if you're curious about the breakdown, it is there.

                              I refuse to assume that significant distortions in salary are due to stupidity, in this field in particular. (Also, Redmond may may more per CoL, but who the **** wants to live in Seattle? )
                              Having lived in the bay area, I'd live in Seattle instead in a heartbeat. I do not think you appreciate how expensive the Bay Area is.

                              You can refuse to believe Apple employees can be stupid, but I disagree. When I was at IBM on the compilers I worked with Apple OS X developers a lot, and I found them to be quite...special.
                              "The issue is there are still many people out there that use religion as a crutch for bigotry and hate. Like Ben."
                              Ben Kenobi: "That means I'm doing something right. "

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