I Need Help Turning On The Lights

[Wiglaf]

Hello, to make a long story short, I AM IN A HOTEL AND I NEED TO TURN THE LIGHTS ON. Now of course I can call housekeeping but I do not want to embarrass myself, especially not in front of Poochina of the Front desk.

Here is the layout -- one light covers the door area and is controlled by A SWITCH, but the other 95% of the room's lighting was apparently handed off to some overseas company or some kind of retarded individual who has no sense of practicality like the guy who designed the switch.

For this part of the room, there are 3 lamps. One is mounted on the desk and is controlled by a switch on the bottom, but then the other 80% of the room are controlled by 2 lamps in between the beds. IT'S ALL THEY HAD AND YES I'M A MACK DADDY.

However, these lamps appear to float, and are not tethered into the ground by metal or anything. The 2 lamp heads are attached to one thing that goes down to the floor, but there is no switch. There is a protrusion hanging from each lamp for about 1/2 foot. But that is all, and I do not know -- do I turn it? Push it? NOTHING seems to have worked and I am now getting despearate.

[Winston]

Just keep fingering it. You'll get it..

[Winston]

.

[Wiglaf]

That looks more like a vagina than my lamp post. It is impossible to get dressed in the dark, the only person I've seen do it is Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction and even he had a lot of sunlight.

[Winston]

Originally posted by Wiglaf
That looks more like a vagina than my lamp post.

Agreed. Most places don't have tattoos on the walls.

[Wezil]

Call this guy.

[Tuberski]

Clap on! Clap off!
Clap on, clap off, the Clapper!

ACK!

[b etor]

soooo wiglaf, any luck? it would have helped to tell us the name of the hotel.

[Asher]

I hope he's alright. Maybe he ran into a post and impaled himself.

[Winston]

Or he decided to get a nice fire going on the suite floor to light up the room.

[Wiglaf]

There has been no luck, only darkness. I left having not been able to look in the mirror, my clothes looked all wrong and I missed several spots shaving and apparently cut myself twice on the chin. Disaster has struck as I have returned to find that one of the lamps with the switch has burned out. If I cannot find the means to turn on the two lamps that are now off, I will probably leave many valuable things behind that I have unpacked and cannot find, such as my credit card and passport

[Wiglaf]

Originally posted by b etor
soooo wiglaf, any luck? it would have helped to tell us the name of the hotel.

I think it is a Hampton Inn. If I had my way they would be out of business, this is simply ridiculous. Hot women patrol the front desk, so no one can ask them about their lights. I should report this practice to the Better Business Bureau.

[Winston]

Wiglaf, don't leave your credit card behind. You'll never hear the end of it.

[b etor]

Originally posted by Wiglaf


I think it is a Hampton Inn. If I had my way they would be out of business, this is simply ridiculous. Hot women patrol the front desk, so no one can ask them about their lights. I should report this practice to the Better Business Bureau.

ask one of the hot women to show you how to turn on your lights.

[Cort Haus]

Originally posted by Wiglaf
Hot women patrol the front desk, so no one can ask them about their lights.

I dunno. Sounds like a good excuse to lure them to your moodily-lit quarters.