Tweet
The Curse of the Mummy 
-
Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! -
Colonel Ticonderoga: Let me just ask you one question. There's one thing I'm most curious about. Why bring the body here? My god, this is a home! People live here!
Jim: Well, Colonel, we didn't know exactly what to do with him.
Colonel Ticonderoga: Bury him! How 'bout that? Don't you think that's a good idea?
Jud: Oh, yes sir, yes sir, Colonel!
Colonel Ticonderoga: I mean, do you think that when somebody dies, they place them permanently on the family couch?
Jim: No sir.
Colonel Ticonderoga: Gee whi-iz!
ACK!
Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!Comment
-
Casualties of War?Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!Comment
-
Nope, I'm gonna give it away:
The conceit of the movie is explained in a voiceover intro by G. W. Bailey, who wonders what it would be like if one of the 1930s/1940s Rex O'Herlihan movies were to be made today. At that point, in a scene reminiscent of The Wizard of Oz, the cinematogaphy shifts from black & white to color and the soundtrack changes from mono to Dolby Digital surround sound.
As a consequence of this paradigm shift, Rex O'Herlihan (Berenger), "the singing cowboy", is the only character aware of the plot outline: he explains that he "knows the future", as "these Western towns are all the same" and that it's his "karma" to "ride into a town, help the good guys, who are usually poor for some reason, against the bad guys, who are usually rich for some reason, and ride out again." Rex's abilities and knowledge are also connected to the unspecified "root" vegetables he digs up and eats.
Rex rides into the town of Oakwood Estates, walks into a Really Tough bar, and meets Peter, the Town Drunk (Bailey). Peter, in exchange for a free drink, explicates the background: the town, and especially the sheep herders ("nice enough, but they smell God-awful"), are being terrorized by the cattle ranchers, headed by Colonel Ticonderoga (Griffith). Miss Tracy (Henner) is the Prostitute with a Heart of Gold. The Sheriff is "a drunken coward who takes his orders from the Colonel".
As soon as the explanation is given, Blackie, the foreman at Rancho Ticonderoga, swaggers into the bar with two of his henchmen and shoots one of the sheep herders. When Miss Tracy objects, hot words are exchanged, and Blackie is accidentally shot in the back by his henchmen. Rex then shoots the guns out of their hands.
Peter exchanges his Drunk Suit for a Sidekick Outfit, catches up with Rex, and is reluctantly accepted as a sidekick. (Rex has sworn off Sidekicks as they keep dying.) The Colonel goes to the boss of the Railroad Men (Rey) (who wear raincoats and have theme music like characters in spaghetti westerns) for help. "We should stick together. Look what we have in common: we're both rich, we're both power-mad, and we're both Colonels -- that's got to count for something!"
Rex outwits the Bad Guys, for a time, because he knows their every move before they do, and because "they're the Bad Guys." Then the Colonels import "Wrangler" Bob Barber (Wayne), apparently another Good Guy. Bob psychs out Rex in their first meeting by attacking Rex's claim to be the "most good Good Guy" and pointing out that a Good Guy has to be "a confident heterosexual". "I thought it was just a heterosexual", Rex objects. "No, it's a confident heterosexual", responds Bob. Rex then backs down from the shootout. On his way out of town, while preparing to change roles to that of a sidekick, Rex explains to Peter that he rides into town, kisses the girls and rides out again. "That's all: I just kiss 'em. I mean, this is the 1880s. You gotta date and date and date and date and sometimes marry 'em before they, you know ..."
Bob then reports that Rex is finished as a Good Guy, but the Colonels, over Bob's objection, arrange for Peter to be bushwhacked. This rouses Rex to round up the sheep herders and face down Bob and the rancher/railroad combine. Bob is revealed as "not a Good Guy at all", but in fact a lawyer, and shoots Rex in the arm, but before Bob gets the chance to fire another shot at Rex, Rex pulls his gun on Barber and kills him (by shooting him in the head). Rex recovers from his wounds, and Colonel Ticonderoga makes peace and apologizes to Rex. After a party at Rancho Ticonderoga, Rex and Peter (who survived because Rex knew that Peter would be killed, as most sidekicks are in the westerns, and had him wear a bulletproof vest) ride off into the sunset.
ACK!
Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!Comment
-
No idea. Sounds fairly hallucinagenic."My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
"The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund FreudComment
-
Rustler Rhapsody.
Tom Berenger was Rex O'Herlihan.
Andy Griffith is Col Ticonderoga
Patrick Wayne(yes, the son) was Bob Barber
My favorite part:
After spying on the Colonel and the "Spaghetti Western" Colonel, they here Rex's spurs jangling on top of the railroad car and see him jump onto his horse, which is running alongside.
They pull the emergency break and pile out the back and see Rex sitting his horse about 100 yds away.
They get the new rifles with the scopes five people or so fire at Rex and they all miss:
Colonel Ticonderoga: You missed! How could you miss?
Jud: Even with these sights we have a target a hundred yards away, maybe more, we've never fired these weapons before, there's a definite wind factor, AND we have a problem with the sun!
Colonel Ticonderoga: Just shoot, okay?
They miss again.
Rex pulls out his six shooter, lays it across the saddlebow and proceeds to shoot the guns out of the bad guys hands.
Then his horse dances away while Rex his holding up his hat. And I do mean dances.
See the damn movie people.
ACK!
Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!Comment
-
New movie:
Louis Strack Jr.: What do you think, Julie? Who's the real monster here? I destroy, to build something better! Whereas you? You're a man who destroys for revenge! Look! Look about you! It's all mine! Because I built it! I built it all!
ACK!
Don't try to confuse the issue with half-truths and gorilla dust!Comment
-
Whatever happened to this Topic?
My Guess: RobocopCurse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!Comment
-
Nono, that must be Darkman.With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
Steven WeinbergComment
-
It reminds me of Andrew Ryan in Bioshock but I know that can't be right."lol internet" ~ AAHZComment
-
That movie was amazing. Haven't seen it in forever. Liam Neeson rules.Originally posted by BlackCat
Darkman."My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
"The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund FreudComment
-
Ok, lets try to revive the thread :
A guy is offered to have sex with his halfsister to make a baby.
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
Steven WeinbergComment
-
Devil's Advocate"My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
"The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund FreudComment
-
Didn't thought it would be that easy.With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
Steven WeinbergComment
-
"So Russell... what do you love about music?"
"To begin with? Everything.""My nation is the world, and my religion is to do good." --Thomas Paine
"The subject of onanism is inexhaustable." --Sigmund FreudComment
Comment