My dream island

[Pekka]

Well you are not part of my island either so STAY OUT! You probably have some ugly island filled with AIDS sticks anyway adn then you keep running into them with your jerk buddies. That's your dream, isn't it? Isn't it? I know it is. It's all about AIDS sticks, isn't it? I know it is. Sticks with AIDS in them. That's all it is.

[Aeson]

So you're saying your island has AIDS sticks all over it?

Nevermind then, our dream islands are different. (Above and beyond the people.)

[Pekka]

See the part where I say "You probably have some...". That means you Aeson, not me. My Island is free of AIDS sticks. And it's just a cool island basically. Listen, you can visit the island. It's not like youre banned or anything. You can come and hang out, just leave the AIDS sticks home.

[Aeson]

No, you quite clearly said you had AIDS sticks on your island. Stop trying to weasle out of it. I don't have AIDS sticks to leave at home, so I guess I can't come visit?

[Pekka]

Just don't bring any AIDS sticks and you're welcome. Don't have them, fine, then you can't bring any so that's OK. Just enter the premises without AIDS sticks.

[Pekka]

So anyway, Bunzo is sort of mad at me. I was sleeping and she came and licked me toe! She's weird like that so I accidentally kicked her a bit but it was a reflex! I didn't mean to. She got a swollen upper lip. I was so sorry for it anyway and I don't know why she got mad at me so badly, I mean not like I did it on purpose. She's still mad at me regardless.

She won't pee on to things with me anymore. I went to her like.. trying to cheer her up. I even brought the bow. She looked away and would stare the sea. I touched her shoulder but she'd move away quickly. So I went back to the camp by myself. I've been getting drunk ever since. I hope Bunzo returns soon. I'm getting worried. I tried to hunt some animals for her, she likes dead animals. But my concentration was lacking and my archery skills aren't THAT good yet so I didn't get anything. I went and picked some berries, thought I'd still make a nice dinner for us. I found these new berries I've never seen before so I tasted one to see if they're any good and they made me sick. So I puked all over the jungle and my favourite monkey, I call him Mumu, well Mumu came and licked my puke so he got sick as well.

I thought these animals know what they can and can't eat? That's how we first chose what to eat, to see what is not poisonous. I guess Mumu isn't the smartest monkey you could meet. Mumu was abandoned by his monkey tribe anyway, I don't know the reasons for it because Mumu can't talk human languages. But we like Mumu. Sometimes we play with him and he likes to surprise us with small dead animals but we don't eat them. We pretend we make food so Mumu wouldn't feel like an idiot, but we don't really eat it. We try to be nice to Mumu because he means good. We hope that some day Mumu will get back to his monkey tribe and that he will introduce us to the monkeys of the island but right now we don't like them because they kicked Mumu off. But we're hoping there will be better times.

Bunzo once got pissed off because Mumu was upset about something the tribe had done to him, so Bunzo grabbed knives and stuff, Jurgen left them at our camp because he said he couldn't carry all the knives back to his camp because he was so wasted anyway and like I said, he likes to carry as much as possible at any given moment... so he just went without his weaponry, shouting sad Oi! Oi!s as he went, resembling a moment when the ska Gods started the last days of Elvis. So anyways, Bunzo got upset and wanted to kill all the monkeys in the monkey tribe. I really had to stop her physically and keep her tied. She was super pissed off. She would have killed them all and I'd hate the idea of eating like Mumu's mom and dad because she got upset. I know she got upset because she's a good person and when someone is treated like that, she just goes off like that.

Yeah so Mumu became sick from my puke and I was like this is not good, what do monkeys do when they get sick? I don't know! We don't speak monkey language and they don't speak human language! So I was like ok, hop on my back. So I got Mumu to the doc's camp, he's a real doctor, right? Or at least he claims to be, his english is quite poor, he's from Russia. But he's a cool dude, seems a bit... eccentric, right? But I guess he's the smartest of us all, he's got tons of books and all he does is experiments. They're really weird experiments too, like this one day he wanted to measure my penis for "medical experiments". I don't know, he said Jurgen already let his measurements to be taken and he was supposed to be the control group. So I don't know what the experiment itself was, but he had needle with him and he wanted to test it, I don't know, I think he said something about "super penis", but I'm not sure, his accent is so strong and he's kind of a freak.

So anyways, I took Mumu to Dimitri. Dimitri gave Mumu a shot and he came right back around. That was cool. I guess I owe Dimitri one but I won't let him touch my penis. He still insist but it won't work with me. I'm suspicious of his agenda anyway.

So yeah... I hope Bunzo returns soon because I miss her and I feel bad about the whole incident.

[Pekka]

So I mean what do you guys want to know? Bunzo hasn't returned yet so I have time to describe the island or the freaks in it. YOu might want to know more about Dimitri. Jurgen told me once, that he's actually a former SU scientist, right? Like a really sharp one. He used to be some kind of a chief experiment scientist when they developed new drugs for their athletes to be used in the olympics, to show like the power of the CCCP. So he was in charge of the scientific development of the drugs, or that's what Jurgen says anyway. I think it might be a lie because Jurgen and Dimitri don't like each other. One night they got into a fight because Jurgen says he likes Jews. I don't know why he said that. It's like a non-issue anyway. But all I know is Jurgen said he likes Jews and a fight broke out. I don't know what they were talking about earlier, that's the only thing I heard before fists started flying.

So it was AFTER that, that Jurgen said Dimitri used to do that. Then supposedly he went insane because SU collapsed and he became useless. He wanted to deflect to the US to keep his project going on, but he was caught in the border of the east and west Berlin. Don't ask why he chose that route, seems to me he could have tried some OTHER route, but that's what he did. He got caught and supposedly the chief sodomist of the rape dungeons really destroyed his identity and sexuality.

After that, he's been like that. Dimitri has ever sinced tried to develop the drug for super penises. That's what he does. He's still very smart, so he has an actual function here as a doctor. We just usually keep our pants on, tightly. Dimitri is OBSESSED with penises. But I don't know if that story is true, I mean Jurgen told it to me and he is sort of the enemy of Dimitri anyway so consider the source.

[DaShi]

Pekka, you could be someone's thesis.

[Pekka]

I don't know. Bunzo hasn't returned yet Now I'm really worried.

[DaShi]

Q: Does Bunzo have a penis?

[Pekka]

No. Bunzo is a 100% girl.

[DaShi]

Interesting. How often do you have sexual relations with Bunzo, Dimitri and Jurgen?

[Pekka]

Well Bunzo and I do have sex quite often, but Dimitri and Jurgen aren't really part of it, or the other people on this island.

I would still say maybe ... 6 times a week. But Bunzo hasn't returned yet so I'm worried. Not really thinkg about sex, I just want her to return safe and soon so I can stop worrying.

[ZEE]

posting in this legendary thread.

also

[DaShi]

But the other people on the island are able to join in, if they want?

How many people are on this island? What is the sex ratio and race ratio?