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I know, I know... a relationship story. I swore I'd never turn into Albert Speer (the poster, not the Nazi). But I just had to get it off my chest.
I just got out of this somewhat long relationship, with many bumps in the road... Basically we dated for 2 years and then broke up, but were off and on for 4 years after that until we got back together in January of this year. Now, my ex's best friend (after me) during this time was a single guy who I'll call "T". This guy wasn't the best looking of guys (balding in his late 20s and doesn't have an attractive face otherwise... kind of looks like a duck) and was known for being an annoying know-it-all (and we found out later that he was to be a 30 year old virgin - we joked the 40 year old virgin movie was for him), but my ex went to law school with him and they both worked at the same place during the summer after we broke up for the first time. So she confided in T and they became somewhat close.
After the summer, we basically got into somewhat of a quasi-relationship. We'd basically acted like we were dating, but it wasn't supposed to be public knowledge. And was off and on. We ended up working in the same office... along with T. Everyone in the office basically caught on that me and the ex were close (closer than merely "friends"). Well... seemingly except for T, who isn't very socially adept. She continued to hang out with him during that period.
So then, we get back together officially (publically) in January. T is off on vacation. Thing are great. T gets back from vacation, the ex has to explain to him that we're together now and things get bad. I mean, the relationship starts getting very wierd and a bit more distance is between us. At the same time T misses out on a promotion, so ex says since T's in a bad place, she has to help console him, and starts hanging out with T a bit more.
Now, for any rational person warning signs must have been going on. I was not rational. Things went more and more downhill. The ex blamed it on my insecurities and said that I was being overparanoid and overjealous of T and it was ridiculous to do so. After all, T was not attractive and annoying and sorts of other things.
So it finally devolved into a point where we broke up. And she seemed (she may have been, who knows) as upset about things not working out as I was. Hell, when you've been basically going out with someone for six years (even if 4 of those years weren't "public"), it hurts. She appeared honest about her feelings and let me vent at her (I got to tell how everything I was pissed about).
We both knew the breakup would be hard, because we needed some space from each other (that we didn't REALLY get the first time we broke up). And the fact that we had been living in the same apartment complex for the last 2.5 years. So we decided we'd try to be friendly at work, but not talk afterwards. So we generally were somewhat friendly on the train into work if we ran into each other and sometimes IM'ing at work (I KNOW, horrible idea, but I was weak).
Three days later, on Saturday, I go out for an 8 AM jog (I'm trying to get back into shape now), and who's car do I see in front of my ex's building? Yep... T's. He spent the night. Didn't even wait a week.
Son of a *****!!
--
So now it's going to be wierd if I see her on the train tomorrow. I figure I'd just tell her if she asked why I wasn't sitting next to her is because I think it'd be healthier for us if we weren't as friendly to each other, even at work.
Hmmm... that felt a bit better.
I just got out of this somewhat long relationship, with many bumps in the road... Basically we dated for 2 years and then broke up, but were off and on for 4 years after that until we got back together in January of this year. Now, my ex's best friend (after me) during this time was a single guy who I'll call "T". This guy wasn't the best looking of guys (balding in his late 20s and doesn't have an attractive face otherwise... kind of looks like a duck) and was known for being an annoying know-it-all (and we found out later that he was to be a 30 year old virgin - we joked the 40 year old virgin movie was for him), but my ex went to law school with him and they both worked at the same place during the summer after we broke up for the first time. So she confided in T and they became somewhat close.
After the summer, we basically got into somewhat of a quasi-relationship. We'd basically acted like we were dating, but it wasn't supposed to be public knowledge. And was off and on. We ended up working in the same office... along with T. Everyone in the office basically caught on that me and the ex were close (closer than merely "friends"). Well... seemingly except for T, who isn't very socially adept. She continued to hang out with him during that period.
So then, we get back together officially (publically) in January. T is off on vacation. Thing are great. T gets back from vacation, the ex has to explain to him that we're together now and things get bad. I mean, the relationship starts getting very wierd and a bit more distance is between us. At the same time T misses out on a promotion, so ex says since T's in a bad place, she has to help console him, and starts hanging out with T a bit more.
Now, for any rational person warning signs must have been going on. I was not rational. Things went more and more downhill. The ex blamed it on my insecurities and said that I was being overparanoid and overjealous of T and it was ridiculous to do so. After all, T was not attractive and annoying and sorts of other things.
So it finally devolved into a point where we broke up. And she seemed (she may have been, who knows) as upset about things not working out as I was. Hell, when you've been basically going out with someone for six years (even if 4 of those years weren't "public"), it hurts. She appeared honest about her feelings and let me vent at her (I got to tell how everything I was pissed about).
We both knew the breakup would be hard, because we needed some space from each other (that we didn't REALLY get the first time we broke up). And the fact that we had been living in the same apartment complex for the last 2.5 years. So we decided we'd try to be friendly at work, but not talk afterwards. So we generally were somewhat friendly on the train into work if we ran into each other and sometimes IM'ing at work (I KNOW, horrible idea, but I was weak).
Three days later, on Saturday, I go out for an 8 AM jog (I'm trying to get back into shape now), and who's car do I see in front of my ex's building? Yep... T's. He spent the night. Didn't even wait a week.
Son of a *****!!
--
So now it's going to be wierd if I see her on the train tomorrow. I figure I'd just tell her if she asked why I wasn't sitting next to her is because I think it'd be healthier for us if we weren't as friendly to each other, even at work.
Hmmm... that felt a bit better.
.
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