Help me plan my life of evil

[Alinestra Covelia]

(The post was heavily based on Dr. Evil's speech to the counselling group in the first Austin Powers movie.)

[Heraclitus]

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia
(The post was heavily based on Dr. Evil's speech to the counselling group in the first Austin Powers movie.)

I tought it was didn't want to bring it up.

[Colon™]

Yet, it'd be somewhat evilish of Dan to live according to a piece of plagiarized advice.

[Lancer]

Go swimming within 1/2 hour of eating.

[Alinestra Covelia]

But only quasi-evil?

[Lancer]

See you also run to the swimming pool.

[Wezil]

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia
(The post was heavily based on Dr. Evil's speech to the counselling group in the first Austin Powers movie.)

It was the third movie actually (Goldmember).

[Alinestra Covelia]

Originally posted by Wezil


It was the third movie actually (Goldmember).

Nope, it was the first movie. It's the bit where the counselling group (led by none other than Carrie Fisher, who played the character of Princess Leia in a little-known space opera) is meeting with a load of father-son couples to talk things over.

The "quasi-evil" comment is from AP2 during the Jerry Springer interview.

You're thinking of the extended backstory where Austin Powers and Dr. Evil are both children in the back seat of the two parents' car and there's some sort of silly accident. Chloe and her webbed feet are mentioned there but nothing about Dr. Evil's ritualistically shorn scrotum (breathtaking!).

[Alinestra Covelia]

Here we go. From the imdb page on AP1:

(As you can see, there are some misquotations in my earlier paraphrase such as Chloe's age. But I figure if DanS wants to be evil, younger is better, right?)

Dr. Evil: The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

[Wezil]

Originally posted by Alinestra Covelia


Nope, it was the first movie. It's the bit where the counselling group (led by none other than Carrie Fisher, who played the character of Princess Leia in a little-known space opera) is meeting with a load of father-son couples to talk things over.

The "quasi-evil" comment is from AP2 during the Jerry Springer interview.

You're thinking of the extended backstory where Austin Powers and Dr. Evil are both children in the back seat of the two parents' car and there's some sort of silly accident. Chloe and her webbed feet are mentioned there but nothing about Dr. Evil's ritualistically shorn scrotum (breathtaking!).

Alright, call it disputed for now. I don't have time to check at the moment. A point of such importance will need to be verified.

[Alinestra Covelia]

Originally posted by Wezil


Alright, call it disputed for now. I don't have time to check at the moment. A point of such importance will need to be verified.

Hahahaha Ninja'd!

And I agree with you on the importance of quotes regarding Austin Powers. I'm already undergoing flagellation with olive branches for my earlier misquotations.


Ooh, that smarts sir!

[Wezil]

Okay, you're right.

The Goldmember bit.

I never knew my birth parents. There was a car accident. my birth mother was incinerated, and I only survived because her smoking carcass had formed a protective cocoon of slaughtered human effluence. A Belgian man and his fifteen year-old love slave were looting the accident scene, came across a blood soaked baby, moi, and they raised me to be evil. You know, very Norman Rockwell.