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Help me plan my life of evil

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  • #1

    Help me plan my life of evil

    I've just been informed that I'm a bigot. This was quite a shock to me, but now I've embraced my inner being.

    Unfortunately, I have never tried to live on the other side of the tracks (so to speak), and have few ideas about being evil. That's where my fellow Polytubbies come in.

    I'm looking for suggestions to start me on my path.
    I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891
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  • #2
    Well, you already provided alcoholic beverages to underage persons.
    DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

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    • #3
      May I suggest you also jaywalk in front of impressionable children.
      DISCLAIMER: the author of the above written texts does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for any offence and insult; disrespect, arrogance and related forms of demeaning behaviour; discrimination based on race, gender, age, income class, body mass, living area, political voting-record, football fan-ship and musical preference; insensitivity towards material, emotional or spiritual distress; and attempted emotional or financial black-mailing, skirt-chasing or death-threats perceived by the reader of the said written texts.

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      • #4
        /me writes furiously in his "evil" notepad

        Ne'er was there a greater hive of villainy than Poly, to be sure.

        Go on.
        I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

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        • #5
          Buy white. Just plain white.

          And a pair of scissors.
          "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
          "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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          • #6
            Wardrobe is important. You might try this:
            Attached Files
            "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
            "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

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            • #7
              If poor grooming and tattoos are your thing you might try this approach:
              Attached Files
              "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
              "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

              Comment

              • #8
                My family is African-American, so this will really throw them for a loop.

                Huzzah! Let's go watch Triumph of the Will again.
                I came upon a barroom full of bad Salon pictures in which men with hats on the backs of their heads were wolfing food from a counter. It was the institution of the "free lunch" I had struck. You paid for a drink and got as much as you wanted to eat. For something less than a rupee a day a man can feed himself sumptuously in San Francisco, even though he be a bankrupt. Remember this if ever you are stranded in these parts. ~ Rudyard Kipling, 1891

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                • #9
                  Just keep your AECCP card and that's all the evil you need.
                  Unbelievable!

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                  • #10
                    Heh
                    “As a lifelong member of the Columbia Business School community, I adhere to the principles of truth, integrity, and respect. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”
                    "Capitalism ho!"

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by DanS
                      * DanS writes furiously in his "evil" notepad

                      Ne'er was there a greater hive of villainy than Poly, to be sure.

                      Go on.
                      SCUM and villainy. Get the **** quote right, or you won't make Evil Grade 2...
                      <Reverend> IRC is just multiplayer notepad.
                      I like your SNOOPY POSTER! - While you Wait quote.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by snoopy369
                        SCUM and villainy. Get the **** quote right, or you won't make Evil Grade 2...
                        QFT.

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                        • #13
                          Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                          "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                          He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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                          • #14
                            The first thing you need is a sidekick:

                            Unbelievable!

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                            • #15
                              Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.
                              "Hating America is something best left to Mobius. He is an expert Yank hater.
                              He also hates Texans and Australians, he does diversify." ~ Braindead

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