Can you critique my translation?

[Varwnos]

Indeed, Wittlich altered the point entirely

[SlowwHand]

Wittlich is an alterer from way back.

[BlackCat]

Originally posted by Krill
It is not but...impossible, it is: ...that it would not be impossible. They aren't part of the same clause.

Yep, got the same result after rereading (and taking a couple of breathings ).

[Wittlich]

Sorry, after my reading I did get the wrong impression. How about this:

... However, after I had visited a few such locations in the center of the city, I realized that it would be possible for one to be found that met my criteria.



EDIT: I replaced this phrase in my first post [bolded].

[Japher]

The "however" doesn't work. It's not like they posed a contrary, so why have that. Also, refering the apartment as "one" leaves ambiguity of what you are talking about. It sounds to me like a center of the city can be found that mets his criteria.

Basically, the whole sentence is weird and redundantly redundant.

In any case, the apartment had to be small enough and, most importantly, its rent could not be expensive. After having visited a few such locations in the center of the city, I realized that it would be possible to find an apartment that met my criteria.

[Provost Harrison]

Re: Can you critique my translation?

Originally posted by Varwnos
"I can remember the first days of my move to the apartment. It was my will, which my parents agreed to grant, to acquire a space of my own, as a recompense for my success in the exams for entering the university. In any case this would have to be small enough, and most importantly its rent should not be expensive, but I quickly realized after I had tentatively seen a few such locations in the center of the city that it would not at all be impossible for one to be found and be meeting those criteria.
Moreover I can say that I was quite lucky in this quest of mine, since in the end that which was rented was the one that I had been most fond of. That it was found in a very large building, in the absolute center of the city, in its fifth floor, was near my university department, were all facts that rendered it exceptionally appealing to me. But aside from all of those there was also something else, and that was the view from its balcony.
To be precise it was not just the view from the balcony towards the lower buildings all around, and the road below, but also the view of the balcony itself, from one part of the road. The first hours after my agreement with the intercessor I found myself again in the road and glanced for the first time- still unaware of the position from which it would be possible for me to observe it all the more clearly- at the tiny balcony with the black, tall bars. The apartment from that road seemed so isolated in serenity, high, above everything which was taking place in the clamor, and the passers-by walking hastily in front of my immobile body appeared to me hapless of ever withdrawing from there to such a protected paradise.
"

These two you really need to look at...absolutely shocking *tut* *tut*