But was there consent?

[Thoth]

Man who had sex with bike in court

By Richard Alleyne
Last Updated: 10:02am BST 27/10/2007

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.
# Bryony Gordon: How do you have sex with a bicycle?

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

Mountain bike; Man who had sex with bike in court
An object of lust?

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
advertisement

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

Link

[Blake]

No true Scotsman would have sex with a bicycle.

[Pekka]

What? What is his crime? What did he do wrong? The door was locked, it's not like he was doing sexual stunts in public.

And why would they call the cops anyway? Man this is just stupid. Let the weirdo have his fun.

[MarkG]

sexual breach of the peace

we should sexually breach the war as well!

[Sandman]

Where's the crime?

[Cort Haus]

Originally posted by Pekka
What? What is his crime? What did he do wrong? The door was locked, it's not like he was doing sexual stunts in public.

And why would they call the cops anyway? Man this is just stupid. Let the weirdo have his fun.

Interestingly, the article doesn't specify which law was broken, just that he was placed on the sex offender register. Increasingly in Britain, it is possible to get in trouble and face penalties without actually breaking any law. Seemingly this guy is now being considered a sex case / child molester, because he bonked a bicycle in private.

I checked the link, suspecting a Newsbiscuit story, but apparantly not. I agree with Pekka.

[Pekka]

Exactly. You're behind a locked door, how can you get yourself into a registed, not even drugs are involved. Just by yourself? He didn't do anything wrong.

[VetLegion]

Originally posted by Cort Haus
Seemingly this guy is now being considered a sex case / child molester, because he bonked a bicycle in private.

[Wezil]

Thoth stole my thread.


I'm almost afraid to ask what is considered normal sex in Scotland? If masterbating with an object is grounds to be placed on an offender registry what would the real deal get you?

[Proteus_MST]

Maybe it was an childrens bicycle and therefore it counts as molesting of children

[-Jrabbit]

It's hard to imagine this actually happened. The situation sounds too far-fetched even for satirical fiction.

I have to wonder: Would the same thing happen to a woman caught in flagrante delicto with a dildo or banana?

[Wezil]

Originally posted by -Jrabbit
It's hard to imagine this actually happened.

We're obviously missing a fact or two here. I say we get an investigator on the file to solve it. Could be a tough nut to crack.

[snoopy369]

I assume the guy didn't have decent representation. The dildo argument is perfectly reasonable. (Unless those are illegal in Britain also? I thought Americans were supposed to be the puritans...)

[Wezil]

How about this one?

Anglicans in Australia are enforcing a stricter code of conduct with a proposal for its national church database of child abusers to include ministers accused of extra-marital affairs.

The proposed register is part of the Australian Anglican Church's attempt to keep churches safe by taking a firm stance against sexual misconduct, including child abuses.

Critics say marital infidelity should not be included alongside child abuse in the register, according to The Associated Press.

But Philip Gerber, the professional standards director of the Sydney diocese, said potential ministers and church workers should be held to a higher moral code than other members of the community.

"The church has always had a high expectation, a scriptural expectation, that members of the clergy and church workers lead moral lives," he told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio.

Although marital infidelity among clergy is rare, Gerber said it does happen.

"Often people that come in touch with clergy are vulnerable because they're in a pastoral situation and the minister is, in a sense, in a position of power," he said. "We just want to make sure that whenever people come in touch with the church they are safe."

The register will be based on complaints, according to Gerber, and include accused church workers even if those accusations of sexual abuse are unproven. Only if the accused is completely cleared of the allegation will the minister or church worker's name come off the list.

"We are not going to set up a bureau of investigation," said Gerber “But obviously when these sorts of things happen … the person concerned or people that know of the facts … can be concerned and they come forward and make a complaint. So it's based on complaints.”

Dr. Muriel Porter, a lay member of the General Synod of the Anglican Church of Australia – which is meeting this week in the nation's capital, Canberra – fears including extra-marital affairs in the register could downplay the "really serious issues."

"The serious issues are very important … [and we] must deal with them properly, but we're getting to the point where people for, almost for winking at somebody, could end up being on a register and I think that's quite serious," said Porter, according to Australia's ABC News.

If the proposed database is approved, officials said the database could be set up by March.

http://www.christianpost.com/article/20071025/29839_Anglicans_Propose_Adding_Adulterers_to_Sex_Offenders_List.htm

Cheat on your wife/husband and be put on a sex offender registry?!

[Thoth]

Originally posted by Wezil
Thoth stole my thread.

:

Originally posted by Cort Haus
I checked the link, suspecting a Newsbiscuit story, but apparantly not. I agree with Pekka.

The guy is definitely from Kinksville, but I don't see any crime either. Just a lot of emarasment trying to explain this one to his mates at the pub.