Critique my game, or, how to pick up girls

[Wiglaf]

Here is my advice. Instead of hitting on girls at random places, hit on girls at places where you share common interest with the girls. I met my now defunct ex girlfriend in a newspaper club meeting in college, for example.

[Kidlicious]

Originally posted by aneeshm
This was the FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE that I had carried out an approach like this. I may be good, but I'm not superhuman.

Ok, it was your first time, but you don't have to be a superhuman. You get an E for effort with females. (That's like a grade. I don't know if you get it. Grading scale normally doesn't include E)

Because that would have been lame. The other bit I had prepared didn't lower my social value, and gave me a time-constraint, so I wouldn't look like a guy who had nothing to do.

I'm not sure what you mean by social value (makes you look like geek?). What you think is lame might be thought of as cute to a female. The important thing is to get in a relationship with her.

[aneeshm]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Critique my game, or, how to pick up girls

Originally posted by DaShi


That doesn't mean that they want to date nerds.

I know. What does this have to do with me, though?

[East Street Trader]

Originally posted by - Groucho -
You're overthinking the whole thing.

That's right.

Try just "Hello" as a start and some remark like "Are you enjoying the course?" or "Do you like robotics?".

After that let the thing develop spontaneously.

You have done well to summon up the nerve to break the ice this time. Getting on easily with girls is largely a matter of experience. It takes courage at first but that wears off. You have made a little advance down that path.

Meanwhile remember that girls are just as ready to take an interest in you as you are to take an interest in them. Also being nervous or a bit shy often does you no harm at all with a girl.

[aneeshm]

Originally posted by East Street Trader


That's right.

Try just "Hello" as a start and some remark like "Are you enjoying the course?" or "Do you like robotics?".

The problem occurs when the person you're targeting is part of a group, and the group is in unfamiliar territory (from their POV). This means that the girl won't leave the group.

Now, if you simply go in, and ask a question like this, you're essentially alienating the rest of the group, because your intentions are completely transparent, everyone knows what the target is, and they feel left out, so they'll act as obstacles. That's why it's so important to know how to open non-singleton sets, and isolate the target from the group without alienating it, after which you can break out the next stage.

And social norms in India are slightly different, more conservative. You do not simply walk up to girl you have never known before, with no previous connection. It'll weird them out. I know because I've done it.

Originally posted by East Street Trader

After that let the thing develop spontaneously.

I have no spontaneity unless I know someone well enough already, so I have to use pre-selected and thought-out material before doing anything.

Originally posted by East Street Trader

You have done well to summon up the nerve to break the ice this time. Getting on easily with girls is largely a matter of experience. It takes courage at first but that wears off. You have made a little advance down that path.

Thanks.

Originally posted by East Street Trader

Meanwhile remember that girls are just as ready to take an interest in you as you are to take an interest in them. Also being nervous or a bit shy often does you no harm at all with a girl.

Maybe, but I'd like certainty, absolute certainty, or the closest equivalent, that what I'm doing will work.

[Jon Miller]

Lift with your legs.

JM

[b etor]

i had no idea that some people put this much effort into talking to people.

[East Street Trader]

Well my knowledge of Indian social mores is limited to what you can pick up from novels and films, Aneeshm, so follow your instincts rather than taking any notice of me.

But from the perspective of someone approaching sixty I can tell you that, in common with everyone else of your age, you currently suffer more from the fear of embarassment than you are going to later.

What might help (a little) in the meantime is to latch on to the fact that you are not alone. All young men who raise the courage to approach girls risk a little humiliation. In fact sexual relationships come with that risk attached almost throughout.

The good news is that a bit of humiliation from time to time just doesn't turn out to be the big deal your present susceptibilities think it might.

What is a bit sad is if you let the fear of embarassment get too much in the way of approaching girls. Such regrets as I have about these things centre on things I was too scared to try - not on the bits of humiliation that came my way.

There was a stunning blonde in one of my classes and I never got around to letting her know I thought she was lovely. It was twenty or thirty years later that I realised how much she would have liked it if I had.

Don't spend too much time on strategies about girls in groups. A thing I have only learned since my daughter grew up is that girls co-operate together over courtship and dating far more than blokes do. If you make contact with a particular girl while she is in a group and she likes the look of you, one or another of her friends may very well help her to engineer chances for you to meet.

Anyway good luck. Work on your self confidance. If believing in technique helps you in that so be it. The truth, though, is that technique counts for nothing. As Groucho indicated, being yourself and taking an interest in the girl is what actually matters.

Along with not letting worries about embarassment stand in your way.

[Lorizael]

Originally posted by b etor
i had no idea that some people put this much effort into talking to people.

For most, talking comes naturally. We are social creatures, after all.

But for some (and many on this board, I bet) talking to strangers is not a natural behavior for us. And since it's not a natural talent, it must be a skill. And if it's a skill, we have to learn it, practice it, refine it.

So we tend to overthink such things. And worry too much. And plan too much.

[aneeshm]

Originally posted by East Street Trader
Well my knowledge of Indian social mores is limited to what you can pick up from novels and films, Aneeshm, so follow your instincts rather than taking any notice of me.

But from the perspective of someone approaching sixty I can tell you that, in common with everyone else of your age, you currently suffer more from the fear of embarassment than you are going to later.

What might help (a little) in the meantime is to latch on to the fact that you are not alone. All young men who raise the courage to approach girls risk a little humiliation. In fact sexual relationships come with that risk attached almost throughout.

The good news is that a bit of humiliation from time to time just doesn't turn out to be the big deal your present susceptibilities think it might.

What is a bit sad is if you let the fear of embarassment get too much in the way of approaching girls. Such regrets as I have about these things centre on things I was too scared to try - not on the bits of humiliation that came my way.

There was a stunning blonde in one of my classes and I never got around to letting her know I thought she was lovely. It was twenty or thirty years later that I realised how much she would have liked it if I had.

Don't spend too much time on strategies about girls in groups. A thing I have only learned since my daughter grew up is that girls co-operate together over courtship and dating far more than blokes do. If you make contact with a particular girl while she is in a group and she likes the look of you, one or another of her friends may very well help her to engineer chances for you to meet.

Anyway good luck. Work on your self confidance. If believing in technique helps you in that so be it. The truth, though, is that technique counts for nothing. As Groucho indicated, being yourself and taking an interest in the girl is what actually matters.

Along with not letting worries about embarassment stand in your way.

Thanks, EST. Much appreciated.

I'm systematically going to destroy my fear of rejection, failure, and embarrassment by doing the newbie drill - go out and approach as many groups as you have to, and crash and burn.

Get thrown down a hundred times. Pick yourself up a hundred times. Because the hundred and first time, you win.

[Japher]

Actually, that's a great idea.

Your fear of rejection probably extends from the fear of failure. However, if you plan to fail than you actually succeed. It's really just the embarrassment part that will be tough, but then that's really just a character builder. I demand that you approach every hot chick you meet and ask her if she'd like to have a cup of coffee, or if she'd mind if you walked with her, whatever... One is bound to say yes.

Fear is faith in the idea that the Devil is right.

[East Street Trader]

I salute you, aneeshm. One man to another.

This is one of the things our sex gets to do.

And in this we would be understood by the peacock, the strutting pidgeon, the rutting stag and all that is male.

The good news is that it turns out to be a whole heap of fun.

And always remember that you have Mother Nature firmly on your side.

A most powerful ally.

[VetLegion]

Originally posted by aneeshm
However, it is my hope that a mechanism of control will allow me to bypass this lack of physicality when I want to.

Never drug women

[aneeshm]

Originally posted by VetLegion


Never drug women

Does releasing certain chemicals in their brain by means of pulling genetically hardwired triggers count as "drugging"?

[VetLegion]

Good question!